Everybody Wants Her
by SunMoonAndSpoon
Summary: A bizarre love triangle involving Akito, Kyo, and Tohru. Have fun, it is complete!
1. Cynicism and B2 Agonists

A/N: Howdy everybody. Welcome to my most recent Furuba fic. This one's gonna be a weird combination of couples, something I like to call Kyokitohru. This sounds like Kyo, Yuki, and Tohru, doesn't it? See, the problem with that is it makes sense. Instead of Yuki we've got Akito in there. Fun, huh? It's going to be a multi-chaptered effort, though I'm not quite sure how long it'll be.

Do I need to tell you anything else…?

Oh yeah! Chapter 97 is going to be totally ignored. For a fangirl, even one who _doesn't _desire her obsession's two-and-a-half dimensional babies, the news is traumatizing. So if you want some hot yuri action then you've come to the wrong place.

And that's about it! Have fun reading!

Everybody Wants Her

Chapter One – Cynicism and B12 Agonists

Everybody wants her.

Nobody says it, but everybody loves her. It's not her smile, it's not her kindness or her looks. It's not the way she seems to heal everybody in her path. Hell, problems seem to crop up just so she can fix them. She's their savior, but that's not why she's so adored. It's inexplicable, she's beautiful and means the world. Why is irrelevant, all that's known is that the Sohma's love Tohru to death.

Akito tries his best to hate her.

Tries so hard, with his fists clenched and his teeth grinding down, his eyes closed with the effort. He _says _he hates her, says it everyday. He never sees her and she must know the stories, the family lore. What he's done to the ones _she _loves. If he hates her he won't need her so much.

But he can't. Love and hate mix well in Akito's world, but all he hates her for is fearing him. At night when he's alone, _(alone alone, why is he _ever _alone?) _he squinches to one side of the bed and pretends she's near him. She's undone all the damage he's worked for, and Akito thinks that she could fix him too. Smooth away the rage, obliterate the desperation. Make his headache go away.

Seriously, he's on his last legs and Tohru's his last hope. He feels dependant, needy and all he sees is her. He wants to get better and Tohru can heal what his doctor can't. If she loves him, if she changes him, then Akito might feel like he's worth saving. To mean the world would be wonderful, he's sick of Hari rolling eyes at his complaints.

It's a great fantasy, being in love with Tohru. It makes life worth living for the five minutes he believes it. When he remembers he jams fists into his eyes to stave off tears.

Kyo flips channels on TV, baking in the heat of a broken air conditioner. Tohru's lying sprawled on the floor with a fan to her face, panting with her panties showing. Kyo doesn't even comment, they're both too hot to care. Yuki's in the garden, asthmatic in the heat and his medication's lying on his bed inside. Shigure's half-asleep in his studio, doodling fukos on his manuscript. Nothing matters but the sweat pouring down their own backs, Yuki's passed out now and no one really notices.

"Anything good on?" Tohru says, popping an ice cube in her mouth.

"Nah," says Kyo, watching it with his eyes glazed anyway.

"Then why are we watching it?"

"I dunno."

They stay there staring for a few more minutes, too lazy and stuck to the floor with their sweat to stop it. Finally Kyo flips off the TV, slides down from the couch to be with her. "You been doing your summer homework?" he asks, feeling like now's the time to bring up what they least want to think about. Tohru shakes her head, blushes brilliant and heats up her face even more.

"I don't get it," she says. "I can't do the math, and I'm having trouble with the essay. I'm not smart enough Kyo-kun, I don't know what I'm doing."

"You could prolly get the rat to help you out," Kyo mutters, scratching idly at the hardwood floor. "He's perfect, he knows _everything. _Ask him if you need help."

"Yuki-kun's been busy, hasn't he? He's got the school committee to deal with, they're making plans for next year." Tohru shifts to face him, blinks her big eyes in his face. "It's sort of a waste of time, don't you think? Yuki's just there to look pretty, they don't let him have any real _say _in things."

Kyo blinks, wondering at Tohru's words. Is she starting to see how fake he is, is she getting cynical? "No," he says. "Yuki's working hard, he's doing good things for the school."

It's not that he believes this, he knows perfectly well that Yuki's the school's trophy wife. Much as he hates him Kyo doesn't want Tohru doubting Yuki, doubting anyone. She's loving, trusting and Kyo can't stand to think she's changed. No, no she's perfect just the way she is. "I guess you're right," Tohru says, shutting her eyes in half-sleep. "But he _is_ overworking himself. He's going to get sick again."

"You worry way too much, you know that?" Kyo says, rolling closer to her, just an inch before touch. Tohru shifts and he can see her breast, tiny though they are. She's skinny as a little girl, innocent and he wants to kiss her. He's trying to push that thought away when Shigure bursts in, gasping and panicked. "I need the phone. We have to call Hatori right now."

_"You _had it last," Kyo says snarkily, imagining no scenarios in which Hatori's help could be crucial. Tohru's already up and mobilized, searched with a franticness she couldn't have summoned before.

"What's going on?" she asks, eyes sparking with terror and she doesn't know what's wrong. She's wringing her hands and scanning the room, trying to find the phone before the world ends.

"Yuki's passed out, he isn't breathing," says Shigure, tearing the place apart to find the phone. He finds it slower then he should have, misdials several times. Kyo is chuckling to himself but not too loudly, he's in no mood to make anyone mad. But the convenience is hilarious, hadn't they just been worrying over Yuki's health? He knows it isn't really funny, but he hates the rat and it's ridiculous. The phone is found and Shigure screams breathily into it. "Hello Haa-san? Yes it's important …no it's not about my novel…not about my sex life either…just shut up and listen Hatori! Look it's about Yuki! He's passed out in the garden and I don't know why and he's not breathing and I don't know what to _do _Hari!"

There's a lot of nodding and being agreeable, Tohru flying out the room to do what she can with what she doesn't know. _"Yuki-kun!" _she cries, rushing to be with him and Kyo pouts a little, wishes _he_ could have a medical crisis. Moments later Shigure's out there too, throwing medicine down his throat and babbling something about Hari being on his way. "Is Yuki-kun okay?" Tohru wails, grabbing Kyo's arms in her anxiety. He's liking her touch and he wonders how mad it'll make Yuki to be thanked. Tohru's nails dig in and she starts to cry. "Is he going to _die?" _

"Don't worry," Kyo says, wishing he could pull her close. "Everything's fine."

"B-but Kyo-kun, Yuki probably hasn't been breathing for a while, he might have brain damage or maybe he's _dead!" _Tohru's babbling, sobbing, and Kyo wrenches himself away from her hands.

"Everything's _fine," _he snarls, and Tohru shuts up. He hates himself but he can't take drama, can't take Tohru caring what happens to the rat. Shigure's on the floor, holding Yuki's head because he's woken up and he's coughing, spasming, he can hardly breathe. This is better then the coma, better then being dead but Kyo's trying not to care. Shigure's trying to keep him still, force an inhaler in his throat and it isn't working, Hatori's not here and things aren't looking up at all.

"Come on Yuki, breathe!" Shi-chan says, making a chant of it, _breathe breathe breathe _and Tohru joins in, pumping arms up and down in support of Yuki-kun. Kyo rolls his eyes but he's whispering the word all the same.

_"…it…hurts…" _Yuki moans and that's a good sign, he's breathing well enough to talk but they don't know that. Pain shoots Tohru full of fear and she kneels down and stares at him, eyes wide.

_"You're in pain!" _she squeaks, holds Yuki's sweat-slicked hand. Kyo stands aloof, glares at Yuki because he knows he'll live and pride doesn't give way easily. "Oh my god we have to do something! We can't just let him sit here hurting!"

"Hatori will be here any minute now," Shigure assures her, to no avail because all that means is that they can't help Yuki. With Akito under his care, it'd be no surprise if Hari didn't show up for hours. Yuki's coughs are tapering off and he seems to be breathing alright, but the pain is strong and he's spilling tears. He can't seem to sit up though he breathes much better that way. He begs for help and they don't know if they should move him, don't have a clue what to do.

Time creeps by with dazzling slowness. It seems like years before Hatori finally comes striding in. But when he's there he's there and he can fix everything, it's over. They think he's magic but he hasn't done a thing, his presence calms Yuki right down and that's all he needs, the attacks been over for ages. Yuki's scooped up and carried inside, medicated a little more. "Are you feeling alright?" Hari asks him, propping up pillows so he can sit.

Yuki nods, coughs again but he's okay. "I'm sorry…" he says, all his energy spent. "Did I worry anyone?"

"Not me," says Kyo, crossing his arms and glaring down. "I'm just disappointed you're not dead."

He's ignored and Tohru flings herself at Yuki-kun, forgets the curse and she's crushing a rat, one who's having another attack from the impact. None of them know if rodents really have asthma, but this one does and they have to go through the whole drama again, but Hari's here this time and it's over fast, Yuki's naked and exhausted and he wants to lie down but he can't. Tohru blushes at what she sees, turns her face away while Hatori drapes a blanket on him, tells her its okay. "You'll need to be less rough with him," he says, passing boxers under the blanket for Yuki to put on. "This is the fifth major attack he's had in a week. I don't think I'm alone when I say that things do not look good. He could die if this keeps up."

Yuki looks horrified and he's coughing again, Hatori apologizes right away. "I'm sorry Yuki," he says, finally addressing the boy himself. "I'm just used to dealing with Akito, and he generally wants the truth from me." He smiles, as if he's made things better. "Now I won't bore you with a bunch of medical jargon. I know you won't understand me anyway. The main point is that Yuki's condition has been rapidly deteriorating as of late. You guys are really, really going to need to learn how to deal with this. I keep telling you every time what to do for him, but you never remember. I know you can't help panicking but it's _very important _that you get past that. Yuki needs to have his meds with him _at all times, _and you three need to help him take them if he can't. Don't panic and don't call me every time, you know I have Akito to deal with."

"It's really scary though," Tohru says, staring at the ground with her big eyes swimming. "I keep thinking he'll die and it'll be all my fault…"

"That won't happen if it's handled properly," Hari says, raking fingers through his hair. "Now Shigure, I'd like to speak with you privately. Kyo, Tohru, you two keep Yuki company, and let me know if he has another attack…he'll need different medication to prevent an overdose."

"I am _not _staying here with that stupid—" Kyo starts but he's stopped short, Hari's hand's out and he doesn't want to hear it.

"Now is not the time for petty animosity," Hatori says, stalking out of the room with Shigure, leaving the three of them sitting alone.

"I'm gonna conk out…" Yuki mutters, falling down and Tohru pushes him up, props him back on the pillows and tucks him in. Kyo can't stand to watch her touch him, stuffs his disgust down deep because he understands it. Yuki's out in minutes and Kyo and Tohru find each other, clinging as close as they can without the cat coming out.

"I'm scared," Tohru says, repeating herself because it's all she feels right now. She crying and her heads on his shoulder, she's soaking his shirt with her misery. "That was horrible Kyo-kun, and it keeps _happening…_what if he dies, what do we do then?"

"Christ Tohru, he's gonna be fine! Look at him, he's all…breathing and stuff. Remember a while back when Hatori said this asthma thing was pretty much gone?" He laughs because that news is so irrelevant now. He's annoyed with Tohru but he doesn't throw her off, he keeps her in the awkward half-hug he needs to stay human. Yelling at her doesn't make it better and she cries harder, he pats her head. "I'm sorry Tohru…I didn't mean to yell at you it's just…well you know I don't like Yuki that much and I don't like to see you upset…"

She looks up, glares at him. "He almost _died _and you can say that? What is _wrong _with you!" She puts her palms on his chest and pushes off, kneels near Yuki and strokes his hair. She mumbles motherly words in his direction. Kyo heaves a sigh, says he's sorry once again. "I'm sick of people dying on me!" she screams, burying her face in Yuki's discolored hair. "I keep losing everyone that matters and I can't _take _this! Yuki can't die too!"

Yes, yes he can because nothing governs these things, any one of them could croak in heartbeat. If these things made sense Akito would be dead by now, Kyo's mommy wouldn't have killed herself. "Please Kyo," Tohru raves, nonsensical. "Please stop this. Make this not be happening anymore…"

He's not magic, he can't heal Yuki and he's not sure he would if he could. Kyo gets closer to freedom with every attack poor Yuki suffers. The boy's deteriorating, falling apart and if Kyo times it right he may just be able to knock him out, win a fight and cheat his way out of lock-up. He'll be eighteen all too soon.

But Tohru's still sobbing, Tohru just wants to make it go away. The best Kyo can do is make her forget, be obscene when all she feels is despair. He kneels down and tips her face toward his, presses sweaty lips against perfect ones. The tongue slips in and she jerks away, blushing with her face in her hands. She turns away from him.

"Can I smoke in here?" asks Hatori, not sure if he should, if it would reach the sickly kid or not. He hasn't had a good cigarette in ages, its not like he can leave Akito, not like he can smoke around him. Shigure nods, sticks his feet upon on the computer table. He'll probably knock the whole thing down but he just can't bring himself to care.

"Go ahead," he says. "You'd get a day off for lung cancer I'm sure."

"Very funny," Hari scoffs, stubbing out the cigarette as soon as its lit. Shigure's right about the risk and too much depends on him. Besides, smoking would be awfully hypocritical considering what he's about to say. "Never mind, you're right. It's a terrible habit…which is why you need to stop too, you do it around Yuki and he can't take that. You're going to have to sterilize the whole house, get rid of anything that might set off his asthma. He's nearly as bad now as he used to be and I'm worried it might kill him. He nearly died today, didn't he?"

Shigure nods, real slow because he's not quite sure. All he remembers is major panic, his heart slamming against his ribs because he can't remember what to do and it's all on him, everyone he knows has felt this before. Too many Sohma's need others just to live, too many turn into clones of Akito. "I guess he did, yeah," he says, scratching idly at the side of his face. "But it would take a really long time to sterilize the house…even if I worked non-stop with Kyo and Tohru's help, it'd still be a few days. And you know its not like we can do that."

"Well it's crucial that you do." Hatori stares him down, eyes narrowed and he's serious. Shi-chan shakes his head, says he doesn't know what to tell him. He shrugs and argues, babbles really until Hari shuts him up. "You have to do _something!" _he snaps. "If you can't clean the house then _you _suggest something, Yuki can't just keep having attacks and half-dying all the time!"

"Well why doesn't he stay at the main house?" Shigure snaps back, rolling his eyes because Hatori's right. "I'll get the house cleaned and he can come back when it's done."

"That might be a good idea," Hatori says. "I don't know about the little subsections, but Akito's house is as clean as it gets…but then again the stress of living with Akito might just make things worse…"

"So can't he live in another part of the compound?" Shigure asks, turning around to face Hatori. Hatori shakes his head, kneeds his knees with bony fingers.

"That'd be no different from him staying here. And you know as well as I do that Akito wouldn't allow it. If Yuki comes home he'll have to room with his master."

Shigure groans, throws himself back on his computer chair. "I _can't _do what you're asking Hatori, I'm sorry but I just _can't. _I don't have _time _and this place is a disaster area. Besides, what am I supposed to do about the _outside? _This is a massive property and its not like I can gut the place of every offensive plant…hell we don't even _know _most of the time what sets him off."

"I suppose," says Hatori. "I suppose it's really up to Akito, isn't it? If he'll have Yuki then it may be for the best…I'll keep Akito in line as well as I can, keep them apart as much as possible…it'll only be only you've finished cleaning, right?"

"Yeah, but that could take months," Shigure moans. "I have a 300-page novel due in September, and wonder of wonders, I haven't even started."

"Really?" Hari tilts his head. "Usually when you say that its been done for ages."

"Yes _really _this time Hatori. I have writer's block, which is like the clap for a prostitute but _worse! _I can't write at _all!" _

Hatori rolls his eyes, sick of the melodrama. Honestly the Sohmas go through so much that Shigure's workplace issues just don't seem like much. _His _job is a million times more stressful then Shigure's could ever be. "I don't know what to tell you," he says. "I'm not a writer."

"No shit," Shigure laughs. "I've never seen you use your brain for anything other then doctoring. Remember that time in third grade where that girl scraped her knee and started freaking out and you cleaned it and calmed her down? You're really perfect for this job, you know that?"

"Yeah," says Hatori. "Sure I am."

"Alright well, I guess you should be getting back to Akito, eh Hatori-san?" Shigure stands up, kisses him lightly on the cheek and Hari wipes it off, disgusted. "So I keep giving him his regular meds, and what was that thingy you prescribed? Ago-somethings?"

"B2 agonist tablets," Hatori says, and when Shigure's eyes glaze over he just says to hand in the prescription at the pharmacy and let them take care of it. "Just make sure you follow the instructions. Also, tell Yuki that he has an appointment tomorrow morning at my office. Now that he's actually sick he can't skip out on me anymore."

"No worries," he says, hoping that the worries will stop because he says this. Hatori gathers his things, heads for the door without waving bye. Shigure heads for the kitchen, downs some of the Yanyan he has hidden in the cabinet. "Yuki's sleeping?" he asks, mouth full and spraying crumbs.

"Gross," mutters Kyo who's wandered into the room for a rice ball. "Yeah he's asleep."

"Well," croons Shigure, brushing crumbs off his ratty yukata. "I can only hope you took advantage of this time to score with Tohru-kun."

Kyo lunges at him, bangs fists against his back and Shi-chan's laughing, Kyo's in hell because he tried it, because Tohru turned him down. All he can do is beat this man, fly into rage for the mockery. "You are such a fucking _pervert!" _he yells, standing there with his fists clenched and his face flaming. "What the hell is _wrong _with you!"

"Jesus Kyo," says Shigure, not shaken enough to show it. "I was just kidding. The way you're acting I'd say you _like _her." He grins. "Do you Kyo? Do you want to plant your little kitty babies in Tohru-kun's tummy? Hmmm?"

_"FUCK YOU!" _Kyo shrieks and stomps out, leaving Shigure with a lot to think about. And as more Yanyan would greatly assist the thinking process, he takes the rest down and starts eating.

Nana: Well you made it through Chapter One without hitting the back button, which makes me a happy little pancake indeed. Please leave a review and check back soon for chapter two, where you'll find out a little more about what's going on, and hopefully my roundabout plot-setup will complete itself!

Thanks for reading! (No I couldn't help the emoticon. It owns my soul.)


	2. Sickly Boys Unite!

A/N: Howdy do and welcome to chapter two! Thanks to everyone who read and extra thanks to those who left reviews. Same rules apply as in chapter one, and I'm hoping you enjoy it!

I realized that I forgot a disclaimer. It's fairly obvious that I don't own Furuba, but I may as well say it for legal purposes and out of respect for Takaya-san. And all those other people whose names I don't know. Anyway, Furuba's not mine. Believe me, it'd be a _very _different series if it was, and probably no fun for anybody but the die-hard Akito fangirls.

Everybody Wants Her

Chapter Two – Sickly Boys Unite!

Akito blinks himself out of a sleepless nap, shades his eyes against the sunlight. His stomach is tumbling around his torso, getting pummeled by the other organs. He doesn't care, it doesn't matter because tomorrow will be here soon.

Tomorrow looms large in Akito's head, he's been empty, dead for days and finally something's about to happen. Darling Yuki's taken ill and Akito thinks this is hilarious. He wants a contest, wants to prove himself the sickest one of all. Yuki's asthma seems lame in light of Akito's tome-like medical history.

But that's not really what he wants from Yuki.

What he wants is Tohru, the indirectness of her body brushing past Yuki's in the hall. Surely they've talked, shared meals together. They've been breathing the same air, though Tohru far more skillfully than Yuki-kun. It'll be like having her close to him, like loving her in a half-assed way. He can touch Yuki, let his fingers graze his skin. Hell, he can shag the boy silly is he so desires. No one would stop him, his conscience can't exist any less than it does now. This is the closest he'll ever come to Tohru-kun, the closest to redemption he deserves. He could summon her so easily, force her to come but he can't. He wants to be worth it for Tohru.

Something twists in Aki's stomach, rises and sends him scrambling for the bathroom. He hunches over the toilet, hacks up puke in pain 'til Hari pokes his head in. "Are you alright?" he asks, moving towards him with a pen in hand. "Can you describe your symptoms?"

"I'm puking my fucking _guts _out!" Akito snaps and heaves again, slides limply to the tiled floor. "My stomach hurts Hatori, that's about it."

"Are you sure? Any fever? Vertigo? Trouble breathing? Anything?" Hatori uncaps his pen and gets ready to take some notes.

"You just _want _me to die, don't you?" Akito pouts, wiping sweat from his face, exhausted. "How come? How come you're always on the look out for something fatal? It doesn't seem right to me."

"I am merely trying to arrive at an appropriate diagnosis so I can treat you," says Hatori, blank-faced and blank-voiced. He doesn't want to get into this, doesn't want to fight with Akito tonight. "I'm a doctor, that's my job and I certainly don't _want _you sick. That just gives me a whole lot more work to do."

"So _that's _all I am to you, a _job?" _Akito spits, not sure why he wants to antagonize. He hasn't the energy, the desire to fight but he's pissed, he needs to know how Hari feels and he needs to tell him that he's wrong. If he doesn't cement this dying kinship then he'll never fall asleep. "Is that it Hari, you don't give two shits about _me, _its just your fucking _paycheck. _If I die it only matters because then you're out of a _job." _

Hatori sighs, stands up. He totally avoids the topic, tells Akito to get to bed. "Those floor tiles can't be comfortable, and you need your rest, as always." He means to leave it at that, usher the kid into bed as he often does. But Aki's focused his gaze on him and he's glaring, narrowing his great gray eyes. "Look," he says. "I don't _get _paid. You _know _that, the family budget isn't big enough for that. I'm doing this because you need me and so does the rest of the family."  
"That's not _good _enough!" snarls Akito, falling into a coughing fit soon after. Hari makes a note to check his lungs, make sure the hacking precedes nothing too serious. And all he wants is to keep that train of thought, lose himself in technicalities and forget the human being. But he can't because Akito's this close to pleading, this close to passing out.

He tells him: "Yes I know."

"So tell me something _better _Hatori!" Akito yelps this grabbing Hari's wrists, but Hari turns it around fast and grabs Akito, guards nervously against the building rage. He knows what to say, knows what will appease Akito, but he's not sure how true it is, not sure if he can lie to him.

But watching Akito changes his mind.

He's shaking, throwing his all into standing up. His eyes look pried with tape and he's sweating, frantic and Hari can't do this to him anymore. "I love you," he says, and pecks his cheek too fast for either one to feel it. "You're my cousin."

"That's not…good enough…" he tells him, body pitching back and Hari runs around to catch him. He stares down at the poor dazed boy, shakes his head because what's good enough is something he can't give. He carries him and lays him down, tucks him into the big and lonely bed.

"Good night Akito," he says and the boy starts to cry, clutches Hari's hands and begs him not to go.

"You can't…you can't leave me…" he moans, tears streaming shamelessly down his bleach-white face. "Don't…please don't."

Hari sighs, sits down and asks Akito just what's wrong. "I've been gone all day and you've been fine," he tells him, trying to remind the boy that yes, he is alright alone. "This isn't any different."

Akito grabs at Hatori, flings himself and latches on, screams "God god don't _leave me!" _He knows he isn't getting his point across with this, knows that Hari can't sympathize unless he understands. But he lacks the energy to articulate, all he does is moan and scratch the poor man's arms.

"Stop it Akito!" Hatori snaps, wrenching his wrecked-up arms away. Akito crashes hard onto the bed, curls in a ball and cries to himself. "You're behaving like a child."

"I don't want to sleep by myself…" he whispers, voice choked with flowing tears. "N-nobody loves me except 'cause they have to…I have…n-no impact, no…no one even _cares _and what if I die while I'm sleeping alone?"

Hatori ignores the mewling, tries to shut out the angsty whines. Sympathy is far from second nature, healer though he is he finds it hard to care. Akito tosses in the bed and says his stomach hurts, he knows this will bring better help than fear or emotion. And it does, Hari's medicating him within minutes, telling him the pain should stop soon. "Please be on your best behavior when Yuki comes tomorrow," Hatori asks, scared to death of the stress Akito will pile on the poor boy.

"I _can't, _I don't want to see him anymore…" Akito moans, knowing now that Yuki cannot, will not fix him. The child hates him and that's the last thing in the world he wants right now. Sick though he is Yuki could have found some courage over at Shigure's. He might finally stand up to his abuser, spit _I hate you _in his face. And Akito can't take that, now or ever, he needs Tohru to make things right. She's magic.

"Please tell me that's not a command," Hatori says, not sure whether to go beneath his dignity and beg. "I've already explained why Yuki needs this…you of all people should get it and give him a break."

"Why?" shrugs Akito, calm because he wants to fight, wants to argue and forget the world for just a moment. "I don't have asthma."

"No, you don't, but you _are _ill, and would you really want to live in a place that made it worse?"

Akito shakes his head, knows he's right and isn't quite too proud to admit it. He wipes his face on his yukata, says, "I just don't think I can handle seeing him. I was looking forward to it before but…he hates me. He has every right but he hates me and I can't…" He coughs, stalls for time while he tries to make this fair. Nothing comes and all he can say is he can't see Yuki, he'll command it if he has to, Hari will have to turn the boy away.

But Hatori just stares him down, a withering look in his working eye. He could have called him selfish, lectured him to death but he's quiet, Hari doesn't say a word. Akito can't scream at the silence, can't respond without sounding insane. "Fine!" he bursts, unable to put up with Hari's passive strategy. "Fine fine fine, the little rat can stay here forever if that's what Doctor Hatori prescribes! I don't care, you guys do whatever the fuck you want and leave me out of it! I'm going to bed!" With that he shuts his eyes, feigns sleep until Hatori steps softly out. When the doctor's gone Akito sobs into the empty space beside him, pretends it's Tohru's hair.

Breaking the news to Yuki isn't easy. He wants it way less than Akito ever could, he's rather like a Holocaust survivor being told that actually, the concentration camp is _good _for him, and he'll have to head back there right away. Hatori's used to handing down bad news though, and he's good at ignoring bad reactions. Yuki could piss and moan for centuries and still not get his way.

And Tohru's far from thrilled as well. She's ignorant of specifics, Yuki wouldn't break her pretty mind with pain. But she knows that something bad went down in Akito's house, that Yuki's closed down and sad because of it. She can't believe that this could help him, insists that yes, they can sterilize the place in hours, make things fine for Yuki but they can't, she knows they can't and there's no real choice anymore.

Yuki packs his bags with Tohru's help, gives them hasty hugs goodbye. Akito's waiting up for him, standing on the porch—he won't sit and Hari's said that, they've got to hurry the farewells along. Kyo stays in the house tuned into music, his ears aching with the volume he needs to block out thought. Tohru gives Yuki box after box of home-cooked food, kisses his cheek like a mother, and Shigure just waves and wishes him luck.

Hatori loads up the car, ushers Yuki in and they drive away, simple as that and Tohru bursts, falls to her knees in tears because it hurts so much to see him go. Optimism's gone from her, she thinks she'll never see the boy alive again. She gets her comfort from Shigure, every bit because Kyo will not come out.

Yuki steps out into the searing sun, lugs his bags and his lungs seize up, he can't breathe and it's hard because this isn't foolproof. "Damn it," he says when he's had his meds, when the minor attack is over. "I thought I wouldn't be _having _any more attacks once I came here. Wasn't that the whole point?"

"Yes, but Yuki nobody gave you permission to carry your bags. They're heavy and its too much work in your condition." Hari takes the stuff and even he has trouble, honestly he's never carried anything heavier then Yuki-kun. "This may take a while," he warns, grunting with the effort of doing all the work. Yuki runs ahead, dead set on proving he's not an invalid. But he has to slow down before he gets to Akito; the sight of him is enough to stop anyone's air.

He's just standing there.

Staring.

Eyes jetting straight ahead into Yuki's soul.

"Oh my god," he says, chest heaving with the effort of breathing. "Oh my god Hatori I can't do this, I can't please please take me home…" Tears slip from his eyes and his heart is racing, he's grabbing Hari's arm and the man's just telling him to breathe.

"Don't speak," he says. "You'll waste oxygen." Cold, god he's cold and all Yuki wants is to run the hell out of here, high on the speed of his deficient organs. He can't, Hari's got him tight around the waist and he's too weak to run from anything.

"I see you brought him," Akito calls out, stony from the porch. He's gripping the railing so tight his hands are like Christmas, all red palms and snow-white knuckles. His teeth grind down and he's furious, he's been standing, waiting for hours and his legs hurt, his stomach hurts and he should have just stayed in bed. But he can't, he has to welcome his sickly little rat back home.

"Yes," says Hatori, dragging Yuki's bags in one by one. Akito makes no move to help him, knows he'd be pushed aside if he tried.

"I don't suppose you've missed me," Akito says, trying to keep the annoyance, the pure exhaustion far away. He trudges towards Yuki, every step like lead for both of them. Yuki tenses up, watches the world for a way to escape. All he sees is what Aki's done to him, the hot snaking slap of the whip at his legs. His skin still burns in wiry stripes when he remembers.

Akito smirks. "No, no I guess you haven't. You never were much of a masochist." With that he wraps arms around his Yuki-kun, soaks in the warmth of the boy wooden with terror. "But you're home. I _have_ missed you."

"I uh…I, I, I…" Yuki stammers, shaking with what he cannot say. Hatred has no place here, Aki's melting in his body and Yuki just leta this happen, doesn't even try to push him off. "I…"

"I know Yuki," says Akito, smug with scarcely a clue what Yuki meant to say.

Minutes pass with Akito plastered on, Yuki too scared to shrug him off. Finally he gets the air, the nerve to speak his mind, and he tells Akito that he's one here because he's sick. "I don't want to go back to the way things used to be. Please don't think that's why I'm here."

"I know that, Yuki-kun," he says, voice sweet with the shock of what he knows. It takes a lot to hammer painful news into Akito's head, and the fact that Yuki hates him is a blow every time. At least he didn't come out and say it, at least Akito doesn't have to fall apart in front of him. "I'm sorry you're unwell," he whispers, tongue flicking Yuki's ear as he talks. "But a month or two with me and you'll be good as new. Whatever problems you have will pale in comparison to mine."

Yuki nods, he knows this is true and doesn't quite care. Akito's away from him, flouncing off to fling himself on Hatori. Yuki can sink to his knees now, sit in shock that he's alive.

The second Tohru stops her crying she's inside, mop in hand and bucket by her side. "The sooner we finish the sooner Yuki comes home," she says, swishing the sopping thing around on the kitchen floor. Kyo nods, yawns and tromps right over her hard work.

"I'm hungry," he says, which in Sohma-speak means 'make me dinner.' He doesn't want Tohru cleaning, breaking her back for Yuki's sake, but she won't rest and she won't relax, she may as well kill herself over Kyo instead.

Sure enough she throws down the mop, starts up a complicated meal because instant ramen is beneath her, leftovers a sin. When its served she's sorry, bowing her head because she doesn't think it's quite as good as usual. She's right, it's only decent but Tohru's stressed, it's understandable. "Sit down," Kyo says. "Eat with me."

Tohru smoothes her dress, nods her head and obeys him. "Kyo-kun I…" she trails off, plays with her hair while she screws up her nerve. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm _so _sorry for how I treated you yesterday. It wasn't right and I know you were just trying to make me feel better…I know you don't like Yuki-kun. I was just so worried about him, I wasn't thinking. You're not mad at me, are you Kyo-kun?"

He's quiet for a while, chewing. He doesn't know if he keeps her waiting for the food in his mouth, or if its just the fact that he _is _annoyed, he doesn't like getting turned down and rejected. She doesn't bring up the kiss and Kyo doesn't know how to work around it, what to say that's unconnected. Finally he says, "I'm not mad at you," and they slurp down their soba in silence.

It's awkward as hell.

"I wonder where Shigure is?" Tohru says, unconcerned but she'd do anything to kill the quiet, anything to talk to Kyo again. The kiss occurred in crisis, she figures he hadn't meant to do thing. If they could just sweep it under the carpet and forget they'd all be better off.

But Tohru plans to air the carpets out this evening. Unless they mean to talk it out, that idiom is a failure. She wants to bring it up, get an explanation but she's paralyzed, can't say a thing on the subject at all. "I haven't seen him since Yuki left," she says, back to Shigure again. "Where do you think he could be?"

"Don't know, don't care," Kyo growls. Tohru blinks, looks hurt and he tells her he's sorry again. "Look Tohru…" he says, scratching idly at his neck. "I'm not mad at you but…are you mad at me? I mean I was kind of an asshole. My uh….timing was off. By a lot. I was a jerk so…I'm sorry? Are you pissed? You can be, if you want, you can, y'know, yell at me. It'd be okay."

Tohru shakes her head with vigor, sucks down soba to avoid responding. After a while the trick gets old, and its Tohru's turn to talk. "You didn't do anything wrong…I mean, you could have been a bit more sensitive about Yuki but…that's just how Kyo-kun is!" She smiles now like that's a good thing, finishes up the food she's made.

"The _kiss,_" he says, frustrated beyond tact at this point. "I'm asking you about when I _kissed you. _Was that _okay? _Is it something you'd let me do _again?_"

Tohru's face turns bright brick red, her hands flutter as she searches everywhere for words. "Bad timing Kyo-kun_," _she tells him, resting on the final phrase. "Like you said."

Kyo can't believe it; he's shocked out of his skull that maybe Tohru wants him back. She smiles from across the table, says, "And now's bad timing too."

"What?" he snaps, too quick to rage and not thinking. "What do you mean, that fucking rat's not here so what's _stopping _us? If you want me then do something about it damn it!"

And she just flashes that blank smile back at him, rubs her eyes and tells him god she's tired, just look at the time it's seven-thirty. "Don't change the subject," he scowls, grabbing at her dishwater-stiff hands. Are those hands enough to need her less, are they reason enough not to let rejection crush him?

Hell no. He's not that shallow.

"I…I'm really tired Kyo-kun," protests the girl but no one cares. Kyo doesn't buy it, she can stand to stay up if its true.

"Talk to me," he tells her, rubbing her callused housewife hands. Guilt fills him when he feels them, he knows he throws the girl's small life away each time he asks for dinner. "Just tell me what you want."

"I don't know…" she whimpers, staring at the ground with half-closed eyes. A part of her wants Kyo, wants anyone, but most of her wants Yuki. He's all that's on her mind, all that's in her thoughts and she can't be sure if that's because she fears for him or what. But Kyo looks desperate, she _does _want him and she can't quite say no. She does love him, in her way. Maybe she can take that ordinary love and make it mean something.

"Look Tohru, you've got to tell me _something,_"Kyo-kun says, grinding teeth in irritation. "It's not fair to keep me hanging, y'know?"

"I…I want to…" she starts, still not sure because she hates to lie, hates to turn him down and she just has no clue what to do or feel. "Be with…you…"

And he stands up, runs and reaches for her, clings hard as he can without the curse kicking in. And he says, "Oh thank _god_."

Tohru-kun just shuts her eyes, lies to him while he strokes her hair. She can make it true if she tries.

Nana: Raise your hand if you're confused! Don't worry if you are, things will be cleared up in time if I catch them. Please feel free to ask me about what doesn't make sense so I can be sure to clarify it later on. All constructive criticism is appreciated, as are compliments. (It's beyond me what kind of author doesn't like _those.) _Anyway, yeah, so I'll have chapter three up as soon as its written, and I hope you enjoyed _Sickly Boys Unite! _


	3. My Hands Through Your Hair

A/N: Chapter three is here after a relatively short wait, considering I was in Virginia for a couple of days, far away from my computer and completely lacking in inspiration. Anyway thanks to all the people who've read this thing so far, especially those of you who take the time to review me. I like it when you waste your valuable time on me!

Somebody asked me about couplings. Yes, this is going to be an Akito/Tohru/Kyo triangle, just like I said. I'm not entirely sure what the configuration is, but I think that everyone is going to make it with everyone. This means Kyo and Akito, Tohru and Akito, and Tohru and Kyo, so if you're bothered by any of that then please keep reading the author's notes so you know which chapters to skip. (It will make me very, very sad if you skip any of it.)

I hope this chapter clears up what's going on with Yuki. If it doesn't, you'll see where this is going eventually anyway. Have fun reading chapter three!

Everybody Wants Her

Chapter Three – My Hands Through Your Hair

She wants to visit Yuki-kun, check on him because he's all her thoughts can handle now. Kyo's kissed her once or twice, mashed his greasy-gross lips against hers. She tried to get into it, pretended his slimy tongue had made her day. But every slot of time Kyo squirrels away for intimacy gets taken over by Yuki on the floor. It's not right for her to feel this way, the ambivalence is evil and she can't say no. She's going to want Kyo if it kills her.

But not today. No, today she'll devote to seeing Yuki-kun, putting her mind at ease so she can focus on her promise, make herself fall headfirst into love.

The only problem now is Akito. She needs permission, needs God's approval to get into heaven, Sohma-land. She's nervous as she picks up the phone, quaking as she dials it. And she gets it wrong, she can't remember, she has to go get Shigure. Somehow she feels secretive, wrong for wanting this. It's just to see if he's alright, it's not a betrayal of Kyo and she knows it, but the guilt's still there and anyway, Shigure has a tendency to make lies out of information. She'd really rather not tell him.

But it's better than Kyo. She can't face Kyo right now.

"Shigure-san!" she yells, splintering up her feet as she darts across the floor. "I need a phone number! I mean, if its not too much trouble…"

Shi-chan's staring at the ceiling in his studio, a pencil balanced on his upper lip. The screensaver on his Mac's kicked in, toasters flying across the monitor, and he thinks this is hilarious. "Tohru-kun," he says, waving her over. "Come here, come look at this! Flying toasters! I've got flying toilets too, and this dog thingy that destroys all my folders! It's so cute!"

"What happened to your other computer?" she asks, staring at the ancient thing. Shigure has never been high-tech, but this thing is from the 90's, the commands are all in English and she can't read a word. The only Japanese is Shi-chan's three pages of typed-up trash.

"In the closet," Shi-chan says, picking up the pencil that's fallen to the table. "I got this baby so I wouldn't get distracted…no Internet or music or anything like that…but the screensavers are a procrastinator's nightmare. Worse than chat rooms, I swear to god…anyway wait, so what did you want?"

"A phone number," she tells him, smiling hard to soften it, not sure if Shigure will care. "Akito's. I need to ask him something."

"Akito, eh?" he says, turning away from his toasters to face her. "Not sure why you'd want to talk to him, but okay. I'll give you his cell number, it's for emergencies only but we can make something up. What's this about anyway?"

Tohru pushes a lank of hair behind her, says, "I wanted to go see Yuki, and I need permission right? Akito won't like it if I just drop in…"

"You got that right," says Shigure, rolling his eyes. "He'll probably have an aneurysm from all bellowing he'd do." He picks up his own cellphone, punches in the right speed-dial and hands the thing to Tohru. "Later on you can listen to my ringtones," he tells her, grinning far too hard for what he's said. "They're _spiffy." _

Tohru sits on Shi-chan's couch, thinks that's something else they have to move out of this filthy house. It's been more then a week and they've made little progress, no one's really tried at all. Seeing Yuki might inspire her, put her in the mood to make things clean. The phone rings for ages, the voicemail picks up and Tohru listens for a while to Akito's wispy voice. _'I'm not picking up because I'm sick and I hate you. I'll call you back if I think you're worth it.' _

Tohru gulps, she's nervous and doesn't know if what she wants is quite vital enough. She takes the general message totally to heart, feels hurt that Akito loathes her so. "Hi," she says, "this is To—Honda Tohru. It's been about a week since Yuki-kun left and I um, I kind of miss him so, with your permission of course Akito-sama, I'd like to come over and see him. Thanks in advance and call me back when you can…if you feel like it…I'll try you again, I mean I don't want to trouble you…well bye."

"That was a long message," comments Shigure, messing with his hair and giving himself split ends that he regrets the moment he creates them, keeps doing it all the same. "I don't think he's going to get back to you Tohru, I don't think he even checks his voicemail. It's probably best just to hit redial a couple times."

"Yeah I guess so," Tohru says, her nerves still wrecked as she calls him back. Six tries later she's got him on the phone, six minutes later she gets him to stop bitching about how much his head hurts and does Tohru know what this feels like? "I'm sorry you're not feeling well Akito-sama," she says, trying her hardest to appease. "I um, I actually called you for something specific…I hope you don't mind…"

"Why the hell would I mind?" he snaps, laughs off the burst of rage as soon as he does. "What I'd be pissed about is if you were calling me for no reason when I'm trying to sleep. So who is this? I don't wanna look at the phone screen thingy, it's too bright and it'll just make my migraine worse…"

Tohru's a bit miffed that he can't tell by her voice, they've known each other long enough by now. But she can tell the man's in no mood to think, she wouldn't say anything anyway. "It's Tohru," she says. "I called you before?"

"You did?" he asks, stops to moan in pain for a moment. "…the fuck is my Sertraline…damn it! Sorry Tohru, um…look what did you call me for?"

She tips her head, mouths concern in Shigure's direction. She's not sure why Akito's not chewing her out, enraged that she interrupted his headache. Maybe he just hurts too much to care, maybe he's just kinder then he's given credit. Tohru sees the best in everyone, wants to believe this if she can. "I wanted to come over," she says. "To see Yuki-kun…I mean if that's okay with you! Maybe today isn't a good day but um…whenever is fine. I'd just like to see him."

There's a gasp, a cough to cover up surprise. Aki's voice is clotting up, he sounds like he's in tears. _"Fuck no!" _he shouts, raging out of nowhere. She should have expected this, she had until it happened, but it's a shock now, a major disappointment. "You can't come over here just because you feel like it, you're a fucking bitch and I don't want you near my Yuki! You'll _poison _him!" There's no dramatic slamming of the phone, just a quick beep and he's gone away, Tohru's sitting there shaking and she's close to tears now too.

"Caught him at a bad time?" asks Shi-chan, his sympathy sounding fake but he means it, he knows how Akito can hurt the weaker ones. Tohru nods and she tries her best to hold back on the crying thing, she knows that what she's been through is not so bad. All he did was yell at her, others have been far more scarred by Akito. "It's alright," says Shigure. "You're better off if he doesn't like you anyway."

Tohru nods and moments later the phone rings again, a sniffly Akito says, "I'm sorry. You can come over now if you want."

Tohru heads out the door, freshly screamed at by Kyo-kun and marveled at by Shigure. He's amazed that Akito apologized, thinks that Tohru must be magic if she can make the boy polite. He'd never said sorry for the worst things he's done, but one sentence gone awry and he might as well be on his _knees. _Shi-chan feels no need to accompany her now, she'll be fine on her own if Akito treats her well enough for sorry.

Kyo would come, would protect Tohru from the world if not for Yuki. He doesn't want to see the rat, doesn't want to make things worse because he knows he will, he'll sure as hell kiss Tohru right in front of both the sickly boys. Bad idea and he won't be able to help himself, he's staying home for the good of everyone. And anyway, Tohru seems dead-set on going alone.

It's okay. She'll be fine and they'll stay home, unworried and untouched by guilt.

Aki's drugged up, shaking and his stomach hurts, the migraine's gone but he's scared as hell. He doesn't know whether to chalk this up to the meds or Tohru, Sertraline tends to screw him over in just this way. Besides he found this batch in the bottom of his sock drawer, it's not likely to be in mint condition. Half an hour in and it's already wearing off. But it's better than nothing. Tohru's coming over.

He tells Yuki this in silky tones, strokes his hair while he tries to be vague about it. He knows that Tohru's here for Yuki-kun, knows she won't exchange anything more than pleasantries with him. But some hopes are hard to kill, and Akito will do what he can to take up Tohru's time.

"Feeling up to it?" asks Akito, staring straight into Yuki's gaping eyes. "This might not be too fun…I'll be there, and I can't always control myself…"

"It's fine," says Yuki-kun, head in his hands as he sucks on an inhaler, sick with fear instead of dust. Aki hasn't done a thing but he's always on guard, always panicking and its taking a toll, Yuki's not improving here at all.

Akito nods. "That's good," he says, "because I'd really like to see her."

_"Why?" _asks Yuki, too sharp and too much air and he's coughing now, wheezing and praying to breathe. When he can he keeps on, asks Akito why in hell he'd want to deal with Tohru-kun. Isn't he supposed to hate her?

"I don't see how that's any of your business!" Akito snaps, blazing with rage for a bit before they both start coughing, Akito's laughing when he stops because he thinks this is hilarious. Yuki doesn't. Not at all. "Anyway," says Akito, composing himself and looking pissed again. "She should be here soon."

"Akito," says Yuki through a tightly clenched jaw. "Please, _please _be nice to her. If you want to treat me like garbage fine, but Tohru-kun's a good person. Don't hurt her while she's here I…I'm begging you."

Akito laughs, exaggerated because he's far from amused right now. He'd had no intention of hurting Tohru-kun, it's an insult that Yuki thinks he's such a monster. "I. Can't. Control. Myself," he repeats, makes sure Yuki knows because it's true and he doesn't want to be blamed for what he doesn't mean to do, he wants to mess with Yuki-kun because he's bored. "I'm sick," he says. "I'm sick in the head, I can't stop myself…"

And he has no idea if he means what he's saying or not.

No one hears Tohru-kun walk in, no one greets her with so much as a punch in the head. Akito's in no mood to deliver, and Yuki wouldn't dream of it. Tohru would rather be hit then ignored though, and she's trying her best to be noticed without the use to words. She can't talk, she's too polite and she won't even clear her throat. "I need more freakin' Sertraline!" Akito yells, throwing the room to wreckage while Tohru just stands there, gaping like a fish and trying to find something to do with herself. Finally she steps in front of Akito, smiles real big and ignores the awful look in his eyes.

"Need some help?" she asks, too scared to say hello. Akito's panting, sweating with suffering and what he feels for her doesn't even register. He almost screams, almost pushes her away with his weak and shaking hands. But logic kicks in and he smiles, eyes twitching with the pain in his head.

"No, thank you Tohru-kun," he says, wiping sweat from his forehead. She looks blurry and he needs to lie down, he won't because she's here and he's not about to leave Tohru alone with Yuki-kun. He's not about to lose them both. "I'm fine, everything's fine. Welcome. S-sit, sit down please. Next to Yuki. Or wherever."

Tohru obeys and he hates her, he wonders whether forcing her near him might have done some good. "Thanks for having me over," she says, crossing her legs and looking up, smiling with relief at little Yuki. "I've just been so worried…Yuki-kun has always been so _healthy, _haven't you Yuki-kun?"

"Well actually—" says Akito, all set to argue when Yuki jumps in, says that yes of course, life's been lovely all this time. He actually says this, lies right to her face because he wants to stop her worrying, wants Tohru to be right. Tohru smiles, asks him how he is right now, and Yuki says he's spectacular, not even hesitating when he spews out this bullshit. He's been with Akito, how can he possibly be _surviving, _let alone _spectacular?_

"That's great," says Tohru, nervous and looking straight away from Akito, right into her Yuki-baby's eyes. "So uh, we've been cleaning the house. You should be able to come home soon Yuki-kun."

They don't believe her for a minute, everybody knows how hard it is to mobilize the family forces, get Kyo to do _anything _for Yuki-kun. Yuki knows it'll be years and the thought just kills him, past a certain point he won't be able to go back anyway. No more Tohru except on these awkward visits, no more Shigure with his strange protection, no more being safe at all. No more future. Akito's gonna have him hostage for life.

"Good," says Akito, trying to kick up dust on the spotless floor. "I can't wait to get this little dirtbag out of here." No one's offended; no one's heard a word he said. Yuki and Tohru are deep in conversation, all discomfiture erased. Now they've got something to talk about, the house and the cleaning process, everybody back at Yuki's_ real _home. They're not looking at Akito, he's dropped off the earth for them. Tohru laughs and it's beautiful, the sound clamps pain around his head even worse. "Shut up," he says, and no one does, they just keep yapping though Akito's got his hands around his ears. "Oh god _owww…" _

"—kun was talking about going _bowling_—" is all he hears before it gets to be just way too much, he can't take being ignored when he's clearly in agony, ever as a matter of fact. And it's not just his head, every part of him hurts and he's sure he's got a fever, he feels like throwing up. It's too much, he stands up, starts shrieking into what he wishes were darkness, with his eyes closed all he sees are massive pink globs, green ribbons of light that won't go away.

He screams until his voice gives out, his legs do and he's on the floor, clawing at his head. _"It hurts it hurts it _hurts…" he moans, in too much pain to stand back up. Tohru's rushing over but he barely feels grateful, all that comes too mind is pain pain pain.

"Akito-sama!" she yelps, cradling him close like she never could have held Yuki, praying for her mother to save his soul. "What's wrong, what is it? Are you alright?"

Akito shakes his head, twists in pain and pukes all over her, she doesn't even blink. "What's wrong?" she asks again, feeling competent because she doesn't quite care, it's not the end of her world if Akito dies. Akito cries over her calm, she's just like Hatori and he couldn't mean less to her. But she's stroking his hair, trying to fix him and it's better than nothing at all.

When Tohru sees he's sobbing she just melts, every part that didn't care is dead. All she can think is _poor baby, _all she wants is to fix him, make whatever's gone wrong right. And now she's scared, useless without a clue what she should do. She looks to Yuki sitting feral in the corner, ready to fight if this is all a trick, if Aki lashes out at Tohru-kun. It doesn't look fake and part of him knows it's really not, that Akito wouldn't stoop quite so low. But he's still on guard; still pretending he would really take him on. Tohru says to him, "please help," and he tells her just to go get Hatori.

"He'll know what to do, don't worry," he says, hand on her shoulder when he moves in closer, he can't touch her any more than that. Akito swats at him feebly, begs him to go but he won't, he'd never leave Tohru alone with Akito in any condition.

But Tohru asks, "could you please do it?" and Yuki can't say no, not to Tohru, never. He can't decide, can't compromise, and for a while he just sits there. "Sorry," Tohru says, "but I don't want to get up and move him…"

"Don't you need to, y'know, clean up?" Yuki asks, watching the vomit trickle down her pretty dress. "I'll take care of him, don't worry, you just get Hatori and take care of yourself."

She's about to say yes, get the puke off because it's gross and she admits it, but Akito's clinging, pleading that she please please stay. So she just looks at Yuki, runs her hands through Aki's hair. Yuki sighs, stands up and walks slowly out of the room. Too fast and he'll stop breathing, too fast and he won't be able to look behind him at what's going on. "Thanks Yuki," Tohru says, holding Aki tighter towards her, indulging his need to be close. She sits there, holding him safe in her lap while she waits, grinning down at his pain because a smile's all she'd want in his place.

"Hatori's not here," says Yuki-kun, stepping in on shaking legs. "He went to a _bar. _With my fucking _brother. _Jesus Christ, whatever's wrong with Akito had better not be serious, Hatori's going to go ballistic…" He grabs at his hair, looks to Tohru for hope and help but all she can do is hold Akito. He's moving, moaning in pain and it's not easy for her to keep her grip but she manages, she'll handle this, heal when she couldn't before. If she saves the world she saves her parents. She was powerless when they died and she remains that way, but the Sohma's live still, she can fake competence, control.

"We could call another doctor," Tohru suggests, looking limply up at him. "It's not like Akito will transform or anything…we could trust somebody else…"

Yuki shakes his head, sits down before standings too much effort for him. "They'd get hung up on the blood…our family…well the curse is in our genes and that includes Akito…if anybody outside the family gets a blood sample, it's over for all of us. Seriously, we don't know how people will react. It might not be a big deal, but it could be a full-blown burning-at-the-stake scenario. We can't risk it."

Tohru nods, takes it in and agrees with him, they won't risk everything just for Akito. Even God's not worth their world. "So what do you think is wrong with him?" she asks, tips Aki's face so she can see him, so he's not buried in the sopping cloth of her dress. "He looks like he's in awful pain, there's got to be _something _we can do for him…"

Yuki mutters something about how it can't be as bad as being whipped and Tohru tells herself she didn't hear that. Akito hears him clearly, moans again like the words just made his head hurt more. It's that reaction that makes Tohru ignore him, she's scared to act in this house, sure she'll wreck havoc on their fragile lives. Besides she doesn't want to hear about abuse, she just wants a simple victim in her hands.

They sit there. They think, stew in their minds for a time while they try and find a way to save the Sohma lord. "Yuki-kun?" Tohru asks, thinking about things said earlier. "What was the name of the medicine Akito was looking for earlier?"

A smiles slides onto Yuki's face, all of a sudden everything's dandy. "Sertraline. He takes that for migraines, he's _fine _Tohru-kun. It's just a really awful headache."

"Really?" Tohru says, looking at Akito with ecstasy in her eyes. She's thrilled, he's fine and Yuki seems fine too, there won't be any dying now. It's just a headache, the bad kind she doesn't know much about but he's okay and…no. No that's not it, something else is wrong. If it were just his head then he wouldn't be such a heat against her body. "I don't know," she says, sure beyond doubt that he'll die. But she just tells Yuki that she thinks there's more to it, that Akito feels warm to her. She's overreacting in her mind, terrified but nobody sees.

Yuki's sticks his hand out, feels Aki's forehead and it's pushed away, Akito won't let him touch him. The rejected hand is quickly replaced with Tohru's, she says she's sure she feels a fever, they should put him to bed or something straight away.

"I don't know what you think that's going to accomplish," Yuki says, rolling his eyes but he helps her, lugs the eighty-pound child to his room. Tohru doesn't know how exercise destroys him, she doesn't stop him from killing his lungs over Akito. But he's medicated, it's under control and they keep going. "You can walk," Yuki tells him, pissed at him for being semi-conscious, only a full-fledged faint would excuse him in Yuki's mind. But Akito can't get his legs to work, can't move because he's dizzy as hell, his head is a boulder on the floor. Yuki doesn't care, he's just yelling: "Get up get up get _up!" _and Akito's getting angrier, his teeth are sanding each other down with how pissed he is.

"Yuki," he says with all his strength, all his venom when they finally reach his room. "Go away. _Now."_

And Yuki does. He backs off because he's overstepped his boundaries, telling Akito what to do is just about high treason here. He drops the legs he's been carting, leaves Tohru to gather him up and he doesn't say goodbye. Slipping off silently is the only thing that's safe.

Tohru takes Akito to bed, lays him down and tucks him in, says she'll try and find his medicine. But Aki doesn't care, it doesn't work and he'll take the pain if it'll keep his Tohru close to him. He'd do anything to keep her; he'd rather have cancer than have her gone. "Please stay," he says, smiling though moving his face half kills him, smiling for Tohru-kun. "I don't want to be alone…"

"Alright," says Tohru, paying no mind to the mess on her dress, Akito doesn't care and she can't, it'll just be fine for now that it's everywhere, on Akito's clothes and night-blue bedding, all over the world because there's just no time to clean herself. That's fine, and it's fine that she just lay down in the bed with Akito, that she's still holding him tight to her chest. Kyo, she thinks, would understand. What he'd never get was how beautiful she finds him, lying there on the bed, just drained. Yuki on the floor is out of her mind, Kyo-kun's awful kisses too far away to mean a thing. It's just Akito now, just Tohru and Akito drifting off to sleep.

Akito touches her hair. He's still telling stories to himself, pretending Tohru's here and loving him. She's here and that's step one, but he's exhausted, beaten with pain and he can't do a thing but shut his eyes. As the world fades out he wonders if she'll let him go.

Nana: And today's arduous trek is over! I was planning on adding more, but I felt like I was at a good ending point, and the other stuff that was supposed to go in there would have just seemed tacked on. It's about Kyo and it'll be in Chapter Four, so you have that spooky mystery thing to look forward to!

I hate to say it but I start school soon. I'm going into my senior year, so I've got college applications to deal with quite soon. I may not be able to get these chapters out in such a timely fashion starting soon. I will try my very best, but I can't say how much of my time school's going to eat. I also have an original that misses its mommy, so I may have to put some work into that. But I'll try my best! The next chapter at least shouldn't take too long.  
Love you all to death and please leave me a nice lengthy review!


	4. Honeybee

A/N: The moment you've all been waiting for is here, a coupling I bet you can guess at will be exhibited here. Think about who was in bed together at the end of chapter three, and you'll probably get it straight away.

So yeah, my request to trade six dead batteries and a Pokemon Red cartridge for sole ownership of Furuba has been denied. They were definitely tempted, but they wanted the yellow version instead, plus a gum wrapper. And that's just out of my budget.

I know I already gave you a disclaimer. Leave me alone. Anyway I hope you like chapter four as much as I do! Read on and enjoy!

Everybody Wants Her

Chapter Four – Honeybee

Tohru's cleaned up and in a borrowed kimono, she's working on Akito when he wakes up. Its tough on him to open his eyes, though Tohru's turned off all the lights and drawn the shades, some light still slides through. Besides he's beat, to lift his lids would cost a lot of effort. So it takes some time to see Tohru there, sitting up and not beside him, trying to take off his clothes.

He's not deluded enough to believe in the best explanation.

He struggles up, pain crashing in his head as he does. Sleep hasn't helped as it should have, he still feels like anthropomorphic shit. He focuses his blurring sight on Tohru-kun, asks her just what the hell she thinks she's doing. "Oh," she says, blushing because she knows how bad this looks. "I was just trying to get your yukata off…it's got some um…stuff on it from yesterday…I thought I'd wash it? I was going to put a clean one on you before you woke up…"

Like everything for Akito, this just isn't good enough. He doesn't care about her practical intentions, doesn't care that his clothes smell like death and he'd be glad to get rid of them, all he knows is _Tohru left him_. Even a second's way too much, he'd have flipped if she went to the bathroom. She'll never be here with him again, and he can't bear to think he's missed a moment, can't bear to sink into emptiness again. "You left me…" he says, eyes filling up with ever-ready tears. "You left me alone."

"Ohhhh!" Tohru melts, wrapping him tight in her arms because he needs it, she can finally comfort somebody—a man—physically. She lies down with him again, throws the yukata off and aside before it messes up her borrowed one. "Akito-san, I was just cleaning up is all. I wasn't leaving you, I would never…I'll stay here as long as you need me."

And she doesn't know this means forever, that Akito will never cease to need a soul. She's just babbling comfort, meaningless reassurances because she's scared for him and she feels so bad. _Poor baby's _in her head again and she holds him like he's everyone she couldn't save.

She looks. She can't help looking when Akito's naked, she's blushing but she doesn't turn away. He's such a sad little topography, coated in surgical scars, track marks from medical injections. All the Sohma's done to him is right here in Tohru's hands. She can see every bone, feel every tendon because he hasn't got an ounce of fat. Her hands trace his torso and it feels so rough, so thrown together. Bones, nerves, random lumps all over that could mean anything. After a time she steels herself to look down there, front and center. She knows she shouldn't, her blushing burns as hot as Aki's fever but she sneaks a peek all the same.

It's not normal.

It's not normal and she thinks this is just the final kick in the—well they look like they've been kicked enough. One testicle's swollen up to egg size, the other's a shriveled, bruisy knot of flesh. The actual penis is pencil-thin, discolored and patchy, deformed with a hole in the side. Tohru doesn't shudder, isn't bothered anymore. It's just another way he's damaged, another thing that lets her love this peaceful morning.

Akito doesn't wonder why she's staring so, he knows that it's not wanting him at all. It's like watching some sick little disaster, a car wreck you can't look away from. He throws blankets on himself, on them both because he can't bear to move away, can't stand to let her see that. He's ashamed, protective, he brings his knees up to hide his damaged goods. Then he laughs, tries to make this funny for Tohru because he's sure that she's embarrassed too. "I call them Eggy, Raisin, and Yanyan…" Then he shuts up, stops this train of thought because they won't be food, they won't be anything. Ever.

"I like Yanyan…" Tohru slurs, not thinking for a bit before she freaks. She hadn't meant it, not like that but his broken body's just so beautiful. Kyo would kill her, fall apart but nothing matters because her hands are where she looked before, she's feeling out what's ruined with her hands. Neither can believe its happening, it wouldn't register in their brains except its everything right now.

"T-that's…that's good Tohru…" Akito says, thinking that getting so worked up can't be good for him. He'd trade the world for this moment but Hatori will bury him in lectures over this, drown him in his droning words. But Tohru doesn't think that _that's good _means to stop, she takes the tiny mutant thing in her perfect hands, gives it a lick and it's awful, sour so she stops. Akito's shaking with how good it felt, he nearly orders her to put her mouth right back down there but no. No, he won't do that to Tohru.

So Tohru's stopped and Aki tells her, "Take off all your clothes."

Reason comes back and she can't do it, she's clutching her kimono closed and inching away, shutting her eyes to naked Akito. "I…" she says, this close to crying, this close to breaking down. "I can't I…it's too much…Kyo-kun…"

And that name just fucking tears it, there's no room in Aki's head for anything but the kitty's dick in her vagina. She's wearing half a wedding dress and it's their special night, Akito's long dead and this future fucking sucks. It's inevitable, too. Unless Akito does something quick, makes Tohru his right now he'll never have her, never mean a section of the world.

So he grabs her, twists her wrists and mounts her, rips the flimsy kimono away. She back away to the end of the bed, scared of the cruel crazed look in Aki's eyes. "Take them off," he says, pointing at her frilly little bloodstained panties. For a second he's concerned, thinks the bleeding is an STD. He needs her now and he's willing to risk an illness, but that doesn't mean he really wants one. Then he remembers his half-assed sex-ed lectures, the hurried gloss-over of the workings of a girl. It's just her time, is all. The blood will make it better, more depraved.

"Akito I really don't want to—" she says but she's silenced, God's will is far too great. He tears them off for her, tosses them and tries to keep from blacking out. Now's no good, his head's still in hell but it can't wait and Tohru's not about to help him out. She pushes him, her stunned self passing quietly away. He falls to the ground with barely a thunk, but the impact's killing him. Tohru looks bemusedly down at little writhing Akito, melts because what she sees is no brutal rapist, no terrifying dictator. No, it's just a pitiful kid, in pain 'cause he fell out of bed. She helps him up, regards him while he calms down.

"You _bitch," _he says, trying for rage instead of guilt because he didn't just do that, not to Tohru who he needs just to keep alive. He's aching from the fall and that doesn't make things easier. "You little fucking _bitch…" _

"Don't," she says, and no one's ever done that before, no one tells the Sohma Master what to do. And he'd be so pissed, he'd be ripping her limbs off if she weren't Tohru, if his head wasn't hurting so bad.

"So what's this crap about Kyo?" he asks her, burrowing in the blankets to hide from her. She's in there with him in a second, she won't be the only one exposed. Tohru drapes her ropey arms across him, wonders if it's really as wrong as her brain is saying. With strength he would have raped her, the will was there and she wouldn't want that, but god she can't let go of him. She's got the sick boy safe in her arms at all costs. The image of Kyo won't leave her alone, but this is more important. Akito will lose it completely if she leaves him.

"There's nothing," she says. "Kyo-kun just…well you know how protective he is of me, Yuki-kun's the same way…they wouldn't be happy if they knew we were…" She trails off, kisses him and the thought of going further chokes her up, she doesn't want it true or real or happening. But it's just once and Akito's weak as a kitten, pathetic and he can't hurt her. Kyo will never know.

And Akito, Akito's in heaven when she tongues him, he hadn't quite thought she knew how to kiss. He's hanging on for dear life here, trying to push the ugliness of moments before away from them, outrun it in his head. He doesn't buy her bullshit but he doesn't want to know the truth, not now, not while she's sucking face with him.

Then it's his turn to push _her_ down, not off the bed because she's got the balance, the strength to stay put where she is. "You think I'm a loser, right?" he says, sounding sexy as he can and all she says is yes when she pulls away. She hasn't heard him, would be blasted into reassurance if she had. But the yes tells it all and she does, she can't see why the Sohma's fear him anymore. What could he possibly do to hurt these people, what could he ever have done to ruin Yuki? He's a defenseless little bonebag, just adorable. "You're so _cute," _she says, touching his face and he slaps her, says he isn't fucking _cute. _

"I am _God _Tohru-chan, you should be _afraid _of me. I was about to rape you and I _would _do it, I fucking _would. _I'm a big threat and don't you forge—"—he's silenced, Tohru's finger to his lips.

"No," she says. "You wouldn't."

They make love anyway, Tohru-kun in charge. Akito's exhausted, more than willing just to zone out while she moves him in and out of her. She's working not to crush him, trying to trick him up top for his safety but no, he's too tired, eventually they just roll to the side and do it that way. Anything to keep it going. He's all wrapped up in her arms, he's everyone she never got to touch. Tohru's arms glide everywhere, leaving Akito just to lap it up, do nothing. But he's loving this, pleasure's just about killed the pain.

"Is this…is this wrong?" pants Tohru, clutching hard at Aki's hands. She's having fun but not as much as he is, it hurts because he broke her, it's Tohru-kun's first time. Complaining's wrong, she's got nothing on Akito and besides, though he hasn't tried she knows he wants to feel she's feeling good. All she can do is debate morality, ask Akito if his respite is a sin.

"Of _course _not," says Akito, back arching with the wonder of it, the beauty of what Tohru can do. She _is _magic, she's curing him, letting him dip deep into who she is. He can't see himself sick, he's healthy now forever because Tohru can stand him, because she doesn't cringe when she looks his way. "It can't be Tohru, I _love _you."

"I love you too," she says, not sure if she means it, if she ever means a word she says. But anyway she bangs her body forward, puts her mouth on Aki's neck and nibbles him, loves how lovely he's turned out to be. The neck is amazing, pale and long and kissed with vertebrae. She can feel him gulp as she runs her tongue along the front, feel his heart, his heat when she comes near. Akito's looking for the mystical, Tohru just the physical. His body's the best in the world. Fragile, damaged and just begging for a fix-up job. He's perfect, she's perfect and they finish up, Aki's semen dripping down their legs.

As Tohru-kun gets calm she's trying to purr, she's heard that its attractive and it slips her mind what kitties mean. She can't get it right and it just comes out like buzzing, Tohru like a honeybee. She's beauty in his ears and the sound's so stupid, so his little Tohru-kun. His lips graze her cheek and he calls her his honeybee, god he just loves her so much. She made his head feel better and he thinks his fever's down, Aki's never clung so hard to any arm before. And with every minute ticking by he holds her tighter, he can't stop thinking it'll all be over soon. Tohru won't be torn from him, she'll just get up and go because she wants to, and it's so much worse that way. "Don't ever leave me Tohru," he begs her, needier than any newborn ever was. "Please please I'll die if you do…"

"I have to go eventually Akito…" she says, so close to sleep that he's wrecked now, insomniac once she's drifted off. Kyo's stitched straight into his gray matter, he can't forget the way she said his name. Like he matters, means the world and Aki's scared to death that maybe Tohru loves him, that he'll lose her even faster than he thought.

He's horrified, the pain's sliding back into his bones. There's nothing left for him but to pick up the phone, make his will known for he is Akito, God of all the Sohma and they're his fucking cancer, he has every right to ruin their lives. He'll call up the kitty cat, order him over for early incarceration and he'll never get out, never see Tohru-kun again. She'll be all his and he won't have to worry, won't be assaulted by illness anymore. Tohru's his medicine and he won't let Kyo-kun take her away.

So he struggles out to the living room, leaves Tohru tucked into herself on the bed. He gropes for the landline, smashes the old thing down when he hears the buzz of a modem, somebody online. He could scream them off, get cable or something but he's not in the mood, he'll just call Kyo on his stupid little cellphone. He rips it from the charger, rips the charger from the wall and punches in the number, digit by precious digit since it's Tohru's number too. "Who's this?" asks Shigure, picking up the phone with a dazzled yawn. "It's pretty late y'know, you shouldn't be calling this late…"

"I'll call you whenever the hell I want to," he spits, pushing all his anger into this, at anyone except his Tohru. "I need to talk to Kyo."

"I think he's sleeping Akito," he tells him, trying to hide his irritation. Shi-chan hasn't been sleeping well, he just wanders the house, not writing and not cleaning and he'd finally conked out, Akito ruined it. And though he knows that Kyo-kun's sleeping fine, he hates the idea of doing to him what he's grumbling over. So he changes the subject, asks if Tohru's coming home tonight. "Tell her just to stay there if she's not, it's 3 AM so it isn't really safe…"

"Tohru's with me," he tells him, refusing to elaborate no matter the pleas and wheedling. Shigure gives up, trudges up to Kyo-kun with his head hung low in defeat. He shakes him, hard because he's used to waking Yuki and he'll never respond to a simple poke. But Kyo stirs right away, glaring as soon as he lifts his lids.

"Shigure what the hell? It's—"—he pauses, checks the clock. "It's three in the morning…is the house on fire? I hope so, 'cause unless you're saving my life then I'm gonna beat the shit outta you…"

"You have a phone call," Shigure says brightly, hands behind his back like something's there. "And the person who called isn't particularly patient, so you'd best get up and get the phone."

A lot of bitching takes place before Kyo picks up, and Akito's pretty pissed by the passing time. He's cold out of bed, he's missing Tohru and he's not strong enough to stand this long. "What do you want?" Kyo-kun asks, knowing its Akito and not giving a damn, he doesn't respect him, fear him like the others do. He has the most to lose but he'd rather die than bow to Akito.

"Well Kyo, I guess I have some bad news for you," Akito tells him, cruel laughter turning quickly into coughs.

"What _is _it?" he snarls, rubbing sleep fiercely from his eyes. He's been dreaming long enough for waking up to hurt him, he's not pleased and he's not thinking, his rudeness will only screw him over more.

"You're polite," Akito giggles, too high on how he'll fix this to get mad. "Anyway Kyo, let me just cut to the chase. There's no point in giving you hope when there is none, am I right? So what I want say is, I'm locking you up early. Beating Yuki won't mean anything now that he's so sick, so I don't see why I should keep you out in the world."

Kyo's stunned, he can't even process what Akito just said. His head bows down without consent, his hands grab the top and inside he just breaks down, tears come in torrents and they don't stop no matter what his brain says. When the words hit it's like an AIDS test that came out positive, everything's just fucking _over. _He can't negotiate, doesn't even try, all he can croak out is why why _why? _

"You broke the number one family rule," says Akito, convinced by now that Kyo's been banging Tohru close to nonstop since she first showed up. He can't be bothered with reality, he wants to be jealous, enraged because he's powerful now, he's got Kyo at his mercy and he couldn't care less about the kitty's fate. "Spreading your seed without the Lord's permission is a sin punishable by death Kyo-kun, but I'll be lenient. You're only going in a couple months earlier, it's no big deal. I ought to give you a lethal injection. I ought to _cough on you." _And that's hilarious, he's choking on his laughter now. Kyo's confused, all set to defend himself when Akito brings up Tohru.

"You've been with _her, _right? Tohru-kun? You've been screwing her fucking brains out, haven't you? Well it's over Kyo, you're never gonna put your hands on her again. She's _mine _now, fucking mine and I just _fucked _her! Ha! God I love the word _fuck!" _And he shakes his head, hits it with his fist because he isn't feeling sane at all. When he's mad he just spills over, lets go of all that might make sense.

Kyo-kun bristles, seethes because he half believes it. Tohru cheating is beyond him, he think Akito's raped her and he's ready to fight, he knows he could shatter Lord Akito's weak body, leave him laid up for life and he almost does, if Akito had been there he would have. "You just…you did _what _to her?" he sputters, and Akito laughs, tells him in joyful tones that Tohru wanted it, hell it was _her _idea.

"She hates you Kyo-kun," Akito tells him breezily, loving this because he's just sosick in the head and he knows it, he fucking _loves _this feeling. "I bet you treat her like a slave girl, don't you? She cooks your food, cleans your house and you don't even pay her. She couldn't love you, she couldn't even _want _you. I mean my god, you're the _cat. _How could she?"

"Tohru doesn't care about that stuff!" Kyo insists, making fists and shaking. But he does take her for granted. He treats her like a little 50's housewife, protects her too much and lets her run his world. She must be beat, exhausted all the time and he hates himself, hates that awful Akito is right. So he tells him the one thing he's wrong about, lets him know that he and Tohru never did the deed, that he respects her, loves her more than that.

Akito just laughs.

"That's not surprising," he says, hacking harshly into the phone. The fit passes and he cracks up, head pounding to the beat of his laughter. "It's not about _respect _Kyo-kun, it's about Tohru-kun rejecting you. You should have _seen _her with me Kyo, she was a little _animal, _I was _worn out. _She's got real nice tits though, if a little small. Too bad you'll never get to see them, eh?"

"Jesus Christ Akito, you don't have to _trash talk _her like that…" Kyo mutters, dead and defeated by now. He just soaks in Aki's truths, lets them in his head like stories from the bible. Akito shouts a little more, grins gleefully about the clear-cut misery. He orders Kyo-kun over, first thing in the morning with everything he thinks he needs.

"If you're not here when I wake up, I'll cut your meals from three a day to two," he tells him, planning to rouse himself by five, beat Kyo at all costs because he needs these little things. If Kyo eats less then maybe Akito eats more, maybe he'll keep down food for once and get better. And if the rest of the Sohma's have lives that make them want to die, maybe Akito's will be worth living.

Magical thinking is all he has.

And Tohru. He has his honeybee fast asleep and he could be beside her, could be clinging to the only one worth living for. If he died he doesn't think she'd blink, but Akito's so good at lying to himself. He mocks Kyo a little longer, turns off the phone before the cat can plead his case. Akito staggers back to bed, downs a painkiller and he crashes next to Tohru. She's so sweet and he strokes her hair, thinking how much she'll hate him when she wakes and finds her Kyo-kun caged.

Nana: This was one hard chapter to write. I rewrote nearly every paragraph because I didn't quite know what I was doing, but that's okay, as you can see I've got it now. I feel bad leaving you guys in suspense like this, but you'll find out more in chapter five. (Chapter five already, wow. I only just started this thing!)

Anyway thanks to all you lovely reviewers out there, and all you silent readers too. (I have way, _way _more hits than reviews, and I'm sure there's at least one person out there who didn't just hit the back button.) Please be nice and leave me a review, I need them or I won't have them! Love you all and have a wonderful time doing whatever you do with your lives!

Until next time, bye bye!


	5. Animated Corpse

A/N: Hello and welcome back! Despite the evils of school I still made time, so here's chapter five for your literary pleasure!

I should mention something. There's some hypothetical talk in this chapter about the Sohma curse. In the anime it's vague, and I've only read as much of the manga as they've published in English. I don't know specifics, so I'm making things up. If the family head's death broke the curse then I think there'd be a long tradition of abortions and killing babies at birth in the Sohma family. And that doesn't seem to be so, so yeah. Read on!

Everybody Wants Her

Chapter Five – Animated Corpse

Kyo, hollowed out, opens the door. Kyo, scooped clean and trying his best just to block out where he's going, the closing in of his life, steps outside.

And he doesn't say goodbye, doesn't tell Shigure he's going anywhere. He starts packing just as soon as he hangs up, just throws all he has in a bag and drags it out the door. He could have called up Hatori, gotten a ride and got there faster, but he's not thinking, all he sees is walking there, lugging all his heavy things alone. But his feet won't move and he's just standing there, staring at the star-scarred sky.

He's supposed to have three months left.

He's only seventeen.

It isn't _fair. _

So he kicks at the stairs, hurts his toes and doesn't give a damn, Kyo just yells with all he's got. He can't even manage an obscenity, in his fury foul language has abandoned him. He pounds the door, dents it and doesn't care, Shigure will fix it up just fine. His screams give way to tears and he didn't even think he was sad, he'd just labeled everything as anger and tossed it aside, it didn't matter because rage is right, feels good because the door is that sick little shit Akito and this is Kyo's mini-vengeance hissy fit.

"I'm notgoing," he tells himself, arms crossed now and his eyes to the ground. "I'm _not."_

Someone asks him where he isn't going, Kyo whips around with his fists out, ready to silence with violence anyone who saw him cry. But Shigure just got here, just stepped out due to Kyo's loud pummeling of the door. "Whats going on?" he asks him, a dragging smirk hiding real concern. "You okay there Kyo?"

"I'm _fine," _he says, hitting the door with scraped-up fists. "Everything's _dandy." _

"So I'm supposed to believe that beating my door to death is some new martial arts technique? Come on Kyo, Akito just called for you, I know _something's _up." Shigure laughs, sits down on the steps with his chin in his hands. The position proves to be uncomfortable, so he shifts around a while, waiting for Kyo to come up with an answer. It takes a while, the kid's just seething, struggling to push past word one.

"A-akito…" he starts, fists clenched and eyes staring down, all he sees are ratty tennis shoes, tapping hard against the ground. "Akito s-said I h-had to be…locked up…e-early I…I don't have a c-chance anymore."

Shigure's not much for consolation, his minds blank and his hands are paralyzed, he can't do much but ask him where this came from, what set off the Sohma Lord.

"Y-yuki…being sick, it wouldn't matter if I beat him…and and Tohru, he thinks that me and Tohru…and he, he did something to her, I…I'm gonna to kill him, I…" he trails off, knowing Shigure's confused. He's looking Kyo over, a bemused expression on his pointed face. He bids him to back up, explain because none of that made sense.

"I don't _know," _says Kyo, trembling and he can't talk, can't go through the whole damn explanation. He's got the words right there in his head, set to spring from his mouth but he can't, his throat's too choked with the fact that he's not crying.

"What's this about Tohru?" Shi-chan asks, picking it out because it could mean everything, he has to know if Tohru's tied up in Akito's closet, whipped and hemorrhaging on the floor. It's not difficult to picture, all he has to do is give Yuki-kun a different face, a pair of breasts and weaker shoulders. It's the photoshopped past of the Sohma family.

"Akito…Akito says he…" The words don't come and Shigure gives up, motions for Kyo to sit down by him. He'll find out later, call Hatori, but Kyo's about to break here. He hesitates, but Shigure wraps his arms around Kyo in the end. He holds him like a son and strokes his hair, lets Kyo-kun bawl over his personal apocalypse.

"You know you have to go," he tells him, hand on his shuddering shoulder. "We owe him. Whatever he asks, no matter how unreasonable…we're only alive because he sacrificed, so if this makes him feel better then we have no choice."

"I don't wanna go…" moans Kyo clutching Shigure's kimono. "Akito's gotta be really depraved if locking people up makes him happy…" He moves away, sadness turned to rage again. All he feels is hate now, a fevered rush and he's right, he's right and he is pure. "I don't see why we all have to suffer just because he's a fucking sadist!"

"Akito isn't a sadist, he doesn't get off on any of this…but I don't pretend to understand him." Shi-chan sighs, kicks the steps with his heels and steals glances at the sky. "Look," he tells him, trying out another argument. "You're the cat, you turn into a monster and you're dangerous. In that form you're a bigger threat than Akito could ever be. You could kill people Kyo, you _have _to be locked up. If you have no respect for God than at least think about it logically. You'll kill people if you're not contained."

"I've been that, that _thing _before and I _never…" _Kyo stops, stares through swimming eyes at Shigure. When his vision clears he knows he'll never convince him, the lines from mouth to nose say everything. Shigure's not smiling, this matters, means the world.

"As you get older you'll have less and less control. It's for your own safety, for _everyone's _safety that you're kept away. I don't know why Akito made that stupid bet with you, I don't know why he'd risk your _freedom…_it's too dangerous. I'm sorry Kyo," he says, no sweet sheepish smile in sight.

"No," he says, swiping tears from his face in vicious motions. "No no no…"

"You're the cat."

"No…"

"You're the cat."

"I won't go…"

"The _cat_, Kyo."

He goes.

Akito's been up for ages, pacing away pain as he waits for Tohru-kun to stir. His legs threaten collapse so he grabs for the bedpost, holds on shaking while he waits for the darkness to pass from his eyes. He's blind a full minute, dizzy as hell before he can stand. In the end he topples over, pounds on the bed hard enough to wake up Tohru. Now his whole right side hurts. Great.

She shifts, opens her eyes at a pace so slow that its infuriating, nerve wrecking because Akito doesn't know what she thinks about last night. He wants her up, wants her talking but at the same time he wishes she'd just sleep forever, never face up to what they'd done.

And she'll just kill him over Kyo.

"Good morning Akito-san," she says, slow and syrupy in her wonderous way. She envelops him again, he burrows into her arms. "What time is it?"

Aki checks the clock, an ugly digital thing that blinks brazenly its information. "Four-thirty," he tells her. "In the morning." And he shudders, holds her tighter because god she's only been here a couple hours. They made love in the infant of the AM, she'd been lying here since yesterday. But she was going to desert him, he'd be alone with nothing but doctor's appointments to look forward to.

"It's pretty early," she says, rubbing her sleep-soaked eyes. "Why are you awake?"

"Can't sleep," he tells her, and that's pretty much true. He hasn't exactly tried but he can't even close his eyes when he's lying here. He's too busy taking her in, securing memories for life. Her full and easy smile, lighting up the world. The way her fingers curl and wrinkle as they reach for his hand.

And he's so glad when she doesn't medicalize it, doesn't list the fatal things insomnia could herald. All she does is kiss his neck, move her lips like a little bloodsucker. He moans, she's thrilled and soon they're making out again. "I _adore _you," she says, coming up for air and she paws at him down there. Tohru hasn't really woken up yet, she's not thinking about the life she's going back to. But it hits her quick and she turns away, rolls to face the wall instead of Akito. "I'm sorry," she says. "I shouldn't have…this is wrong, we never should have done anything I…" Tears come out, she cries so easily. All she has to do is think of Kyo and she's bawling.

Akito sits up, touches her back and she jerks him off, her shoulder blades bruising up his palm. "Tohru-kun…" he murmurs, cradling his rejected hand. He knows all too well but he asks her: "Can you tell me why that felt so wrong? Did I…did I not do a good job?"

So Tohru's stuck apologizing, reassuring Akito that his performance was just fine. "It's not _that, _I definitely _enjoyed _it…but I…" She stops, searches her mind for a reasonable lie. "It's just that we don't really know each other very well, and this was so _sudden_…besides, we didn't use any protection, I could be…"

And that just sets him off, he's laughing hard enough to trigger a coughing fit. It ends, he's smiling and clutching his chest. "You think you're _pregnant? _Tohru-kun, you _saw _my genitalia, do you _really _think that _those things _could make a baby? If you did it with I don't know, _Kyo-kun, _you might have a problem but _me? _That's hilarious."  
"Oh," she says, thinking that this ought to have occurred to her. She ignores the jab at Kyo-kun, just turns around to look at Akito's crumpling face. She knows he isn't happy but she asks him all the same, if it matters that he'll never be a dad.

"Of course it doesn't _matter," _he hisses, trying not to let it because god, why would he want such a miserable child in the world? "Would you just look at me Tohru? Whatever kid I have is bound to be just as bad off physically, maybe mentally as well. Depending on the timing it might transform, and anyway _I'd _be raising it! The family heads aren't usually allowed to have babies Tohru…it just, it doesn't work out. I'm _glad_ it's not likely to happen."

Tohru-kun's not honest, she doesn't tell him that if that's the case, there's no way in the world she'll stay. She craves the needy, the dependant and a baby beats out Akito every time. A little newborn couldn't live without its mama, but a twenty-year-old man could live without his one-night stand. So all she does is kiss his cheek, sit up and stretch and she's still stark naked, still Akito's temporary everything. He's far from decent and he doesn't look away, she's looking him over too.

"I should go," she says, standing up and scouring the room for her yukata. She can't find it and Akito wrenches her back beside him, begs her not to leave him now.  
"Tohru-kun please. If you go now I'll never see you again and I _love _you, I can't, I can't be alone, I _can't…" _And he's aching to tell her, let her know he'll fucking kill himself if she heads off now. It just came to him, just blasted through his head and it feels right, if he hasn't got Tohru he hasn't got anything and the headache's back, why on Earth is he even _alive? _

Right. The Sohma. The fucking Sohma and he hates them all. He blames them for the bloody world, for every stab of pain that ever plagues him. He's tired of being their vessel, the puddle of anguish they steal life from every day. Akito's the one who keeps the balance, if he weren't around the animal forms would clash with the human, the Sohmas would all die. He's half dead every day and he can hardly leave the house, he can't see why they should have the world to prance around in.

And Tohru-kun's a Sohma too. She's been absorbed, assimilated and he's not about to let her go, let anybody know he wants her. "You can't go," he tells her, grinning dumbly to himself. "I'm going to take my life if you leave me. And with me goes everybody else, unless you're pregnant, which you're not. Think you can live with the guilt Tohru-kun? All those corpses on your pretty little conscience?"

She swallows, flails for words while she watches him. "You'd really kill yourself?" she asks him, tearing up a cuticle as she talks. "Just because I'm going home? I'd come _back _Akito, I don't know why you think this is permanent…"

"Of course I'd fucking kill myself!" Akito barks, ripping up his skin from elbow down to wrist, trying to beat Tohru's loser mutilation. "What, you think my life is _worth _living? You think I _care_ about all those other assholes? You're all that's good in my life Tohru, and you won't come back to me. You have _Kyo, _you have happy people, _normal _people in your life, god why would you want _me? _I guess I'm your only choice now though. Unless you want to be alone, that is. Because they die with me."

And Tohru doesn't understand, she backs away because she thinks that Aki's all set to kill them actively. She thinks she's looking at a murderer, that she'll walk away from this maimed and spilling blood. "Are you…?" she asks. "Are you going to…Akito you _wouldn't! _W-why would you kill your whole family? I'll, I'll call the police, I won't let you do this!"

Akito laughs, swallows vomit as he does. "You don't know anything, do you?" Tohru shakes her head, she's clueless and she's hoping he'll explain. And he does, he gives her history, details. What it comes down to is that the others are goners without him, when he dies he's got to be replaced. "They'll keep alive about a year after I die, but unless somebody's pregnant then they're fucked. Sometimes it doesn't work, sometimes everybody dies and the new Juunishi come from distant relatives. If I kill myself there's a good chance that they'll all just croak."

Tohru barely looks at him, she can't and she's just kicking at the bed, twitching 'cause she feels so trapped. "So you'd risk that?" she asks him, not even trying to tone down her disgust "You'd put your whole family in danger just to keep me here? They all have so much to live for and you…you're really that selfish?"

He hits her then, leaves a bright red mark on her stunned little heart-shaped face. "You want to try living in this fucking body, this fucking life for _twenty years?_ Try it just for a day and tell me if you can take it Tohru! You have no idea what you're talking about and you have no right to say I'm _selfish! _I'm a _sacrifice _Tohru, I'm an animated corpse! If the only person who's ever made me happy goes away then I give up, I just can't do this anymore!"

Hand to her injured face she nods. She's sympathetic but she's scared as hell, she knows this must be on his mind every minute. He's stopped, he's coughing and she wants him talking, wants to show him why he's wrong. Tohru puts her arms around him, pats his back to stop the pain. "Were there any other suicides?" she asks him. "Any other family heads?"

And he says, "the youngest one was six."

Hari pokes his head in, looking awfully perky for someone who's been out drinking all night long. "Akito," he says, looking pointedly away from Tohru's naked chest. She's still not dressed, it'd mean she's leaving and she can't do that to Akito just yet. Kyo can wait, Kyo doesn't want to kill himself. "Would you mind telling me what Shigure's entire household is doing here? Tohru should have left by now and _Kyo's _here, just what exactly is going on?"

"Tohru will stay as long as she damn well pleases, and I _told _Kyo to come here. He's not leaving, we're locking him up today." Akito stands up with his junk hanging out, roots through his dresser for something to cover up. He picks out black pants, a black shirt and ratty underwear, dresses for everyone to see. Hatori mutters something about how he could be a little more discreet, but he isn't audible, he's not making Akito angry.

"Anyway," he says. "You should see to Kyo."

"I'm getting to it!" snaps Akito, yanking the shirt on over his over-large head. "Jesus Christ on a stick Hari, have some fucking _patience!" _And he does, he just strides off without his honeybee, she's confused and hiding in the sheets. When he goes she looks at Hatori, asks him if he means what he said about Kyo.

"Probably," says Hatori, sitting on the edge of the bed to be near her. "Akito seems to prefer _doing_ awful things to making them up." He says its awful, pretends to be disturbed but its obvious he's empty, even Tohru who sees everybody's best side sees nothing in Hari's eyes.

"You don't care," she softly says. "Do you?"

"It was bound to happen," Hari tells her, rubbing slowly at the bags beneath his eyes. "If Kyo thought he still had a chance he'd wind up killing Yuki when he tried to beat him. Locking him up early is one of the few smart things Akito's ever done."

"But—" she says, sobbing in her sheets again. Hari cuts her off, stands up.

"I have to go," he tells her, working out a kink in his back before he heads for the door. "You should probably be going too."

And just like that he's gone, everybody's gone and Tohru's just immobile. She can't save Kyo because she'll break Akito to bits, she can't take his side because then she's gonna hurt Kyo. And she can't find her kimono, she's nude and can't leave anyway.

She rolls out of bed, puts on Aki's boxer shorts. She digs through his clothes, hopes he won't mind but she can't help if she can't leave the room. And all she wants to do is save the world. In the end she has to wear all black, the yukatas are filthy and fluid-stained. And the black clothes barely fit her, they're too tight on her tiny frame. Tohru feels whorish but she runs outside, races to find Akito and Kyo.

Kyo's standing there with all his stuff, breathing hard from the long drag over. Akito's gasping, spitting blood from his stroll across rooms. Kyo hits his face mid-cough, holds him in a headlock while he throws punches at his gut. Akito throws up, vomits thin liquid on Kyo-kun's shoes. "Stop it Kyo…!" he gasps, flailing for escape but he's weak and Kyo won't stop, Akito's godly status means little to the cat.

"You're asking me to _stop?" _Kyo laughs, raking fingers down his shaking chest. The shirts ripped and Aki's pissed, that had been a nice one. "Why the hell should I stop, its not like you did the same for Tohru! I bet she fucking _begged _you, and guess what you little creep, I'll make you do the same! _Beg _me Akito, get on your goddamn knees!" And he lets him go, throws him down and it takes a while, but Akito manages to pull himself together, to his feet. He looks down, laughing through unstoppable coughs.

"You…just…killed any…chance you had…of going free. You're—"—and he's doubled over, his lungs ache and there's blood, the floors gone red because of him. "You're…screwed…"

"Fine, fine I don't fucking care! As long as I can make you pay for what you did to Tohru, I'm good!" He stomps around for effect, thwaps Akito in the back of the head, blinding him long enough for Kyo to kick him, knock him down. He's standing on his chest and Akito can't breathe, can't be their evil leader when he feels about to die. "You want me to rape you? You wanna know what it feels like, you sick little shit?" He spits on his face, in his mouth and it's loud and full of mucous, it's gross but Akito can't spit it out. "Yeah, choke on that dickhead, I'm sure that tastes real good! Now tell me you don't want me fucking you, say _pretty please with sugar on the goddamn top!" _

And he tries to get away, ties to save his pride but he's in such pain, so tired so he just says please, lowers himself and live. Then Tohru comes tramping in, looking skeletal and sluttish, a girly Akito.

She's watching him beg and her eyes are streaming, she's wiping snot from her pretty nose and Kyo takes his foot off Akito, holds Tohru half-assed in his arms. She elbows him, screams "get away from me!" and kneels down, Akito's beaten body sliding easy in her arms. She holds him close and strokes his face, god he's wasted, god he's beautiful. "Kyo," she says, turning away from his baffled eyes. "It's one thing to fight with Yuki, up until recently he could fight you back just fine. But this...this is inexcusable! Look at him Kyo-kun, look how hurt he is! Look at what you did!"

"But," says Kyo, spine straight and he's shaking, he doesn't understand at all. "He…he _deserved _it Tohru, I was just…he…after what he did to _you…"_

"He didn't do anything to me!" she tells him hotly, pounding fists against the floor. "You don't know what you're talking about!"

Kyo stoops down, shakes Tohru-kun hard by the shoulders. "He raped you, he said you guys had sex and you wouldn't do it willingly, there's no other explanation Tohru!" She stares at him, annoyed and her eyes are narrowed, she's can't believe how bad he wants this, can't believe he wishes she were hurt. Then she shakes that thought away, tells herself that it's just his trust in her. And she can't bear to be the one who breaks that trust.

"I…" she whispers, searching futilely for words. Akito saves her by spitting blood, getting red chunky junk all over both their clothes. She can see now why he wears all black, this stuff would show too well on white. "Ahhhh Akito!" she squeaks. "Are you alright?"

"He's _fine _Tohru, it doesn't matter. Just be honest, tell me what he did to you." He grabs her hand, says, "it's okay to tell the truth." Tohru ignores him, sets Akito upright so he won't choke on his own fallen blood.

And both of them look so desperate, Kyo-kun for the truth and Akito for air, they both need her and she can't be there, can't be their anything. So she just stands up, heads out and says she'll look for Hatori, he's the best thing for illness in the world. But Akito has her leg in a stranglehold, dying's worse than losing her any day. If she walks he'll drag along and she doesn't know what to do, she steps up her crying 'cause she's miserable.

"You're wearing his clothes," he says, sure she wouldn't want to touch them if he's touched her wrong. So the truth's just staring him in the face and he can't do anything, Tohru's crying and he doesn't want to hurt her, Akito's lying on the floor clinging and drooling blood. So he screams out _"FUCK!" _and hits the wall, throwing dents into the plaster. _"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!" _

Tohru wipes her eyes, says, "I'm so sorry Kyo," but it makes no difference, its over and his life is over, he's worthless and she loves a cretin over him. She sees this but she just wants Akito more, she asks him to go, get out and get Hatori, he's gonna save the boy who stole Kyo's girlfriend.

He does. He'll do anything for Tohru-kun.

Nana: Well there you go. I hope everyone liked chapter five, and I hope you'll all leave me nice little review telling me just how awesome it was. Or how much it sucked, but if you do that you've gotta tell me why or I'll just waste a good ten minutes mocking you. Just kidding. Anyway, thanks for reading everybody! I love you all as much as I love ice cream! And that's a hell of a lot!

I guess I should say one more thing before I go. Akito/Kyo _is _coming, I swear to socks it is. I just have to work it in properly…it doesn't make much sense at the moment, does it? But I promised Akito/Kyo and Akito/Kyo I shall deliver damn it! Just keep reading and it'll come. Thanks for putting up with the wait!

Well until next time, tata!


	6. Get On Your Goddamn Knees

A/N: Chapter six is up after only a weeklong wait! You like me 'cause I'm timely, dontcha? Anyway the usual warnings and disclaimers apply, as well as my request to please review me. Infinite gratitude and um…invisible miso soup to all who do so!

Since you already know the basic coupling set-up I'm going to be mean and not tell you what is or isn't happening in this chapter. You have to actually read it and find out! Have fun! I am waving at you!

Everybody Wants Her

Chapter Six – Get On Your Goddamn Knees

He's laid up for weeks.

Akito can't remember all the details, can't even process them through the soap-thick haze of his fever. He knows what's wrong, but he's left in the dark as to when he'll recover and why. Does he deserve to feel better at all? Is there anything his doctor can do to make it matter?

"Pneumonia," Hari says, "a broken rib." Those words mean only that his chest hurts, that Kyo and the Sohma curse are killing him. The crunch of bones comes to mind, the awful sense that he can't breathe, he's powerless. He can't get Kyo's foot, his fist and his spiteful words away from him. He hears him in his dreams and the dreams never stop, his brain's stepped off in temporary la-la land.

Over and over and over again the tape rewinds itself, plays Kyo punching his stomach and making him sick, spill his insides on the ground. He tastes the bile, the blood that brought itself up later. He hears Kyo, feels his rage and knows that it's legit. _Sick little shit…_he is…_what you did to Tohru…_god he's wrecked her, she hasn't come to see him since, she must hate him if she won't take care of him… _get on your goddamn knees!_

He'd gotten on his goddamn knees.

He bowed to Kyo and he's so weak, he spits blood each time he tries to move. Word must have spread and he must have lost them all. The Sohma does not love him, won't deal another day if they think they can escape. And he hasn't seen a face in ages, no one real enough to touch and no Tohru. He's alone. They've left him here to die and he deserves it, no one can fix what he has tainted.

He's _alone_.

As desperate and painful as anything, he's alone.

He wants to scream, wants to beat the pillow and bawl like a baby but he hasn't got the strength. Akito can't get enough air in him to cry. He stares at his hand and it's blue, it's fucking _blue _and he's still _alone… _

Alone. He is going to die alone.

He must have been sleeping because he's jolted up, something's stuffed down his throat and he's just praying that it's Tohru's tongue. But it's thicker, hurts him more and maybe it's a tumor, maybe he's got cancer now on top of everything. Something in him says its not; his body isn't that off kilter. It takes some time but he's breathing better, he hears a voice and tears just spill right down, no sound. He hasn't heard dialogue since diagnosis, someone's saying his name and he's not Kyo, he doesn't know who it is or why they're here but good god he loves them more than Tohru now.

Exhaustion. Consciousness crumbles and Akito's asleep, clutching beige sheets between sweat-soaked fingers.

When the tube comes out he calls for Tohru, reaches feebly for the girl that isn't there. She doesn't visit, hasn't come to see him once because she can't, it's not permissible. Shi-chan knows her well and he's told Hari all about her, how all she wants to do is patch up a broken soul. And the last thing the grown-ups want is darling Tohru getting hurt, the last thing they'll do is let her get closer to Akito.

She's allowed to go see Kyo-kun though. Even if he's locked up for life, even if they can never have more then hand-holding through iron bars, its better than Akito turning her precious soul into cyanide.

If they knew what he'd threatened though, if Akito could tell them, Tohru would be right back here with her hands in his hair, chained up but she's free now, free to see Kyo and she doesn't even want to. Tohru avoids him, stays away from the cage as she roams the Main House, visits Yuki to pass the time. He's benign and she can look him in the eye, she wants to know how he's doing anyway.

So she's in Yuki's room when Akito wants her, when his voice is too weak to call her name.

Tohru stretches, kicks her legs out on Yuki's futon. He's sitting there too, half hanging off the thing because even with their small statures they're too big for this bitty bed. Yuki rubs his wide and sleepy eyes, says he's glad he finally gets to see her. "I'm sorry Akito-san interrupted things last time. We were having a pretty fun conversation, but I guess he couldn't help it…I don't really know what's going on though, is he okay?"

Tohru laughs, checks herself because she knows that Yuki's isolated, spared Akito and his affairs. He can't have seen him since he got so sick, she can't see the sense in Yuki going in there and getting worse himself. "He's fine," she tells him, lying through smiles because she doesn't know how the truth will make him feel. Akito's not fine, he's barely breathed in weeks and he'd fragile and crying and breaking apart. Based on what she's learned about the curse she thinks he'll just be terrified. "Akito's a little under the weather, but he'll be alright. How are _you?" _

"Dandy," Yuki says, grinning and picking at a thread on his sleeve. "I'm doing a lot better, and this place is nice so long as Akito's not around." Then he looks at her, stares straight into Tohru's serene smiling face. "I miss you though," he tells her. "I miss you a lot."

And Tohru isn't smiling anymore. She's glad to be missed but these days nothing's quite that simple, these days she has folks proposing to her right and left. Kyo and Akito are more than enough for her to deal with. "I've missed you too," she says and she shuts down, crosses her arms and moves to the floor, too scared to be discreet. "Things haven't been easy since you left."

"How so?" he asks, knowing that she's been here. He doesn't know why and he doesn't know what's happened, maybe its just because nobody's back at home. Shi-chan's been hanging out with Hatori, Kyo-kun's pacing his cage. Yuki's in his room, cut off and he craves the news, wants to know what's going on with Tohru-kun. "Is something wrong?"

"No!" she says, shaking her head because the last thing she wants is to make him worry. She's been reading up on psychosomatic illnesses, she's not sure but she thinks she'll make Yuki sick by scaring him. She hates that he's so feeble now, he's not the Yuki-kun she used to know. He looks so beaten down and its only Akito suffering in bed that keeps her from craving him. What she wants is the worst off and she doesn't know what Aki's done to him, she hasn't seen a single ancient scar. She smiles then and tips her head, tells him everything's just wonderful.

"Tohru _something's _going on…" He coughs, throws Tohru in a panic but it's nothing, he's laughing at her in a second. "Don't worry so much, you'll stress yourself out and that's not good for you. You must be under a lot of strain right now, agonizing over everyone. It's not like you can change anybody's situation, you know that right?"

And she nods, says yes but she's pretty sure she can. If she cleans the house then Yuki comes home, magically cured of all that ails him. If she folds bony baby Akito up in her arms he'll feel better, stop wanting to fall apart and die. If she talks to him long enough he'll take pity on Kyo, open up that awful cage and let him live.

"So just don't worry about it," Yuki says. "You should get out, take care of yourself." She winces, sickened by the concept. '_Take care of yourself'_ in Tohru-speak means something along the lines of _'be a selfish bitch who deserves to have her all organs pulled out through holes drilled into her elbows.' _No, _Tohru_ doesn't need to take care of herself, _god_ no. _She's _just fine.

"I'm fine!" she says brightly, wishing now she hadn't even walked in here. Yuki won't get off this track and he's just babbling on and on. She should see her friends, get her bangs trimmed, buy herself some dango because he knows she loves the stuff. He won't shut up and she's getting annoyed, she wants to hit him, hurt him, go see Akito. He's saying things she wants to do, prying her out of her piety and she can't stand it. Her friends don't matter, her bangs don't matter, her dango _definitely _doesn't matter, not when the Sohma is suffering! She has to talk to Kyo, hold Aki-kun tight to her chest andgood god she's just not _worth _anything if she doesn't do this!

Her heart sprints out of control in her chest, she's freaked and she's fidgeting, Yuki-kun is so concerned. "Tohru," he says, "Tohru-kun there's no need to panic, I just don't want you to overwork yourself…" He takes her hand, rubs it and she jerks away, yells _don't touch me_ in his face.

"I'm sorry," she says, hands flying up to hide herself. Yuki-kun's stricken, this isn't Tohru-kun at all. She tries to explain, make what she's done go away but it isn't working, she's already rejected his attempts at gentle comfort. She could take his hand, replace the moment but she can't touch anyone but Akito. The thought of healthy skin on hers makes her shiver, and Yuki's healthy now. He's dull-eyed, depressed but he's the best he can be at the Main House. All she wants is Akito and her thoughts won't leave the road to him. "I," she says, "I have to go!"

And she flees, feels so bad she forces unwilling feet away from Akito. She beats her fist against her wrist, bites her lip and tastes blood. She's been rude, she's been horrible but if she goes back to Yuki-kun she'll bolt again. He looks like Akito and that just makes her want him more. But she _can't _go see him, she can't because she's not allowed to, she doesn't deserve him anyway. Besides that Kyo's just so much better for her, Aki's a wreck that no one rational would want.

Tohru's forcing rationality on herself. She walks towards Kyo with lead in her step, tears flowing.

There's only so long that playing tic-tac-toe with yourself in the dirt can stay exciting. Kyo's been sitting here for days, peeing in an open cat box at Akito's suggestion. Not that he'd care, not that he even remembers he recommended it, but anyway that's what Kyo-kun's stuck with. He gets cat food to eat too and he's losing weight, going bony and gaunt like the family god.

Kyo doesn't like to think of Tohru-kun, but with nothing to do he can't help it. She's on his mind most of the time, and he tries just to think of the little things. The little things get him feeling guilty though, what he sees is Tohru making dinner, smiling wide because Kyo helped her up chop some carrots. When he told her she looked good she'd just light up, like no one in the world was ever kind to her. Every little thing just makes him feel so _bad. _

So then there's the fact that he's lost her. She must really loathe him if she's loving Akito, if she'd choose that ogre over him. She'll be hurt with him, abused and he adores her. He's trapped and he can't save her, win her heart.

Missing Tohru, reaching for her with restless arms is awful, but it's absolutely nothing in the face of where he is. The futures taboo, Kyo's glad to have this Tohru trauma to distract him. He's always going to be here, thinking about her, wondering where she is and if she's banging Akito. If she doesn't come to see him then he's never going to know, and she hasn't come, she's not about to. He makes her sick and all her words of love were lies. Kyo's life will be bereft of Tohru, bereft of everything.

It's too convenient that she comes in now, would be worse if he weren't beating himself over the head with this everyday. He's spent all his time locked up thinking that she's gone, and she hadn't come, so when she steps up all he thinks is _about goddamn time. _But he softens up soon. Tohru with her tearstained face just melts his heart.

"Tohru-kun," he says, standing up to smile at her. "I um, well…how are you?"

"I'm wonderful Kyo-kun," she tells him, bullshitting him without a thought. He can see the dried-up tears and puffy eyes, the mucous trailing from her nose. She sniffles, smiles wide at him. "I mean, of course I've been worried about you. Is it terrible here? I hope it's not too bad, I wouldn't want Kyo-kun to suffer…"

"Well look around you Tohru-kun," he says snarkily, waving his arms at the litter box, the degrading little bowl of crunchy cat food. "This is a freakin' _palace." _

Her wide eyes widen and she shakes her head, she can't believe her Akito would do this. She has a hard enough time accepting Kyo's captivity, but this is ridiculous, this is insane. "They don't even feed you real _food? _Kyo-kun that's _awful!" _

"Well why don't you go talk to your _boyfriend _about it?" he spits, crossing his arms and he regrets it, rues every evil word. But it isn't in him to apologize, he just plows along and yells at her. "Then again he probably won't listen to _you. _Why the hell did you get involved with him anyway, do you have any idea what he's _like? _He's a sadistic controlling abusive freak and he's _completely insane. _The only good thing about him is he'll die soon. So what the hell Tohru? Was it just to get away from me? You could have said something if you didn't like me."

Tears spill from Tohru now, she's guilt-wracked, guilty, god she's shaking. Kyo turns away, stares at the bars that make the walls because he just can't bear to look at her. "It's not because of _you _Kyo-kun, I just, I just really feel _bad _for him and he's, well he's _gorgeous _and I want to take _care _of him…I don't know Kyo, I just, you're my friend, you're my dear dear friend but that's _it. _I _tried _to love you, I _really _tried Kyo-kun…"

He backs away, leans against the wall with his head hung low. "So it was an effort for you then. You never actually felt anything for me."

"It's not that!" she says, waving her arms and she's frantic, god she's absolutely miserable. Tohru-kun can't back this up, it _is _that and there's nothing she can say in her defense. "I do love you and I do want to be with you, but as a _friend. _It was stupid of me to let you make it more. I'm really sorry Kyo-kun."

"That's a load of crap and you know it!" he snaps. "You _lied _to me, you fucking strung me along and you _lied _to me! How could you even _do _that? I thought you were better than that Tohru, _much _better!"

"I'm _sorry _Kyo, but its not like we've even been together that long. You didn't, you didn't _love _me or anything, you couldn't have…" In her head she toys with the idea that he does, she knows it can happen because she feels such love for Akito. But she isn't Akito, she's not a captivating ghost in need of saving. She's just Tohru, plain little housekeeping Tohru and who could possibly fall in love with that? It's beyond her why she has two Sohmas after her soul. Does Yuki love her too, does Shigure, Ritsu, Momiji? Good god could the whole _family_ be pining for her?

Kyo nods, says bitterly that yes, he does. _Does, _not did. He's pissed as hell but the sight of her is still a lovely one. She's just about the only one who's against this awful lock-up, the one who cares and trusts him. She's scared but she accepts him she…she did.

He'd loved her so long and he thought…

"You can't mean that," she says, voice faltering and she feels so weak, she feels like fucking Akito. "You can't…"

"I can and I do, I loveyou Tohru. I always will, but I guess if I'm locked up you're better off with Akito. It's not like I'd be any good to you stuck in a cage."

And then he's next to her again, pressing his body against the bars. "Just do whatever makes you happy. That's what I want, your happiness, because I can't be happy anymore. I just want you to do one thing." She stares at him, wary of his blaring blazing eyes. Kyo's not looking at her future joy, he's not looking just to let her go. Blood's pouring, pumping him up down there and good _god_ he can't help wanting her. She's just so sweet with her sad soft face and wringing hands.

"W-what is that, Kyo-kun?" she whispers, eyes to the filthy floor. She squeezes them shut when he says it, pulls her hair and gasps like she's Akito or someone sick. "I, I can't Kyo-kun, I can't believe you'd even _ask _me…"

"It's just _once _Tohru, just five fucking minutes is all I'm asking. I'll want you for the rest of my life, it's not like there's anyone I can replace you with." And he tries to so hard to make this reasonable, make _'fuck me' _a valiant request. She's shaking her head, backing off and he bows to the ground, just begs her on his goddamn knees. Tears start up and he chokes them back, he hates her more than God because she doesn't want him.

"You're crying…" she says, moving in and stroking his face, the water's falling now and she can't help it, she kisses him so she can be the healer. When she breaks away she says, "You haven't cried since that time with Kazuma…I can't believe this means so much…"

"It means _everything," _he tells her, pulls her face in and kisses her deep, consumes her as fast as he can. Her eyes are wide and she's hating this, he knows but he can't bring himself to make it stop. It's not him, Kyo isn't in control when Tohru's skirt comes down, when his own pants fall around his feet. Those hands slipping slowly down her bra aren't his, that penis stiff as a board through the bars belongs to someone else. "Get on your knees," he says because he just can't think of any other way, he doesn't know if he really could make love to her from the cage. "Suck," he begs her, "Oh god please…"

And she does, Tohru clamps her mouth right down on Kyo-kun's healthy genitals. "D-don't, don't bite," he begs, feeling absolutely eaten alive. She stretches her mouth to hell and back, tries to keep her teeth out of the equation. It's not working and she knows she's hurting him, knows he feels like he's something magic. The sides of her mouth ache and she wants it over, he's not coming and there's nothing broken enough to make her love him. When it doesn't work he pulls her up, pleads with her to please let him come inside her. "I love you so much," he says. This doesn't help because she doesn't want him to care at all. Not now that she wants this life with Akito. But his fingers graze her crotch and god it's great, her stomach hurts with how this is and isn't wonderful.

She's wet and she's tingly, she can't kiss his neck and she's naked, he's naked and about to break her. Kyo-kun pushes straight inside, steals glances at her tear-stung eyes, her pubic hair and heaving breasts. Every bit is absolutely beautiful, he feels fantastic as they bruise their hipbones on the bleeding bars. She hates to admit it but this is better, she feels better than she did with Akito. Still all she sees is his pale little porcelain face, his wild-eyed pain and what he'd say if he could see this. When Kyo-kun comes she doesn't wait for her turn, doesn't even know that she's supposed to get one.

Kyo-kun pulls his limp dick out and away from her, they get dressed and say goodbye. All Tohru feels is filthy when she walks away.

Sickroom, Sohma shell of a hospital. Akito's laying in a bed on meds, morphine dizzying up his head. When Honeybee heads in he doesn't even see her, doesn't split his face open grinning because god she's just so good. For a moment Tohru's hurt, her heart just breaks because she thinks the dear man doesn't love her. But she burrows into bed with him and holds on tight, says "Akito I'm back…"

He hears her. In a frayed and damaged voice he tells her how just much she is adored. "Don't go," he pleads, and immobilized by guilt, paralyzed by love, she says she'd never dream of it.

Nana: That _was _weird, wasn't it? I hope you liked it though and don't worry, there's still plenty more to come. Lots and lots of messed up stuff. I apologize to the Kyoru fans out there, but here's hoping you enjoyed yourself all the same. The review button loves you and so do I, so leave your comments and have a spiffy day!


	7. Ammunition

A/N: Welcome back. This chapter here is pretty Tohru-centric, unlike the others, which skip around quite a bit more than this one will. I apologize to those of you who hate her guts, but if you skip out on this chapter, the rest of it is going to be unfathomable. There's a wee bit of Akito in here too, plus maybe a paragraph about Kyo. Don't worry, there'll be more face time for the guys later on.

So yeah, enjoy the creepy wonders of chapter seven!

Everybody Wants Her

Chapter Seven – Ammunition

Honeybee has to go to school. She hasn't done a drop of schoolwork since she came to stay with Akito, she's unprepared and scared but Yuki's coming, he's just not allowed to run through the woods or carry heavy books. For gym he's in yoga while all his friends take track.

Kyo-kun's not going to school of course. His days don't change except that everyday just seems to suck a whole lot more than the last one did. Mostly he thinks about things like how much kitty litter does he need to shovel down his stomach if he wants to die. Tohru hasn't come and neither has Kazuma, the man's off in China or something and probably doesn't even know what's going on. Not that he could change a thing if he came here, not that any one of Aki's slaves would back him up. Everyone's thoroughly convinced that Kyo's a monster and it doesn't quite matter if they care for him or not.

Not that they do. To say Kyo's name is deep betrayal, Akito hates him more than anybody in the whole wide world. He doesn't know much, his minds been clouded with morphine and he hasn't quite noticed Tohru's comings and goings. But she's still fucking Kyo-kun unprotected, still feeling absolutely filthy every time. She's coated in mud with every movement; she's a whore who has to shower each time she crawls into bed with Akito. After the first time she grew cautious, figured Akito might sniff out her secret. It never crosses her mind that his sense of smell is pretty much shot.

These days though, there isn't any bed to crawl back into. Akito's up and on the prowl, barging into every room and blaring commands, just pissing people off because he can. The pneumonia's gone but he's still coughing, killing his broken rib. He likes how the bandages bulk him up, keep him from looking quite so twiggy. Maybe he's a man now, maybe he's worth Tohru's time. He hates that she's in school, hates the lonely days without her. Kyo can't stand it either, no one feels at ease without their darling Tohru.

At least she's coming home to Akito. At least she still makes love to Kyo. Neither one knows how absolutely lucky they are, how fortunate the other is.

Tohru-kun picks her head up, has a spaz-fit in her seat because she's fallen asleep again. Calculus is far from fascinating, she's tried to keep up but she can't, the desk's like a magnet for her bang-brushed forehead.

Uo-chan laughs, tells Tohru-kun to just calm down. "Stupid, if you flip out like that then the teacher might actually notice." And Tohru smiles, says Uotani's right and she's sorry. She scribbles down notes like they mean something, tries to get the numbers being droned down pat.

When the tiredness subsides it's easy to pay attention. She and the girls aren't talking, she hasn't a clue what to say. Tohru's too far removed from them, since she's been assimilated into the Sohma she feels like she's another species. She's had a month and a half to reconnect but she's failing, she barely even tries. The best she can do is huddle with Yuki at lunch, compare notes with him on Akito. From him she learns the little things, like Akito's favorite color and the fact that he can't stand sushi at all. Yuki still won't open up about his childhood alone with him, and that's just fine, Tohru'd rather not hear anything that would dilute the love she's feeling.

But anyway, her friends aren't thrilled, and when she thinks she can get away with it Uo-chan leans over and pokes Tohru in the head. "Hey," she says, "meet me and Hana by the library after school, alright?"

She smiles, shakes her head and says there's no way she can make it. She's worked out a pretty strict schedule with her Aki-kun, he wants her home immediately every day. And she'll comply, she knows he's lonely and Tohru's won't say it but she's scared. Weak as he is he's got the family in his thrall, she knows she can't trust anyone. Everyday she's picked up by Hari in his car, Akito lounging in the backseat if he's up for it. They snog while they ride, make love loud enough for Hatori to hear it. Of course she feels bad, of course she is humiliated. Bu what she feels is irrelevant, she's serving Akito and the Sohma respects that.

They don't speak to her anymore though. They don't seem to _like _her so much. She's still got Yuki on her side but its not like he knows, its not like he's in the secluded, creepy little loop. She thinks it's funny that _he's _naïve instead of her.

Uo-chan jabs her harder, asks her why the hell she's been avoiding them. "I _miss _you Tohru, how come you haven't spoken to me properly in months? We're supposed to be _best friends." _

"I know, I'm sorry Uotani it's just that I have a lot of stuff to do. You know, homework and college applications. I can hardly believe you and Hana have time for anything." She laughs, ashamed of her lousy little lie. They haven't started fretting over college yet, the way things look she doesn't even know if she'll go. And they're not getting any more homework than they labored under last year.

"Why are you calling me _Uotani?" _she asks, spitting out her own name like it's cyanide. "Good god Tohru, you're more familiar with that freaky bitch _Mo_toko. Guess that makes sense, she's the prince's rabid fangirl and he's the only one you ever seem to talk to anymore. Are you two going out or something?"

The teacher's head snaps up and he glares at them, tells them to shut up and listen unless they don't feel like graduating. When Uo tries to talk Tohru shushes her, the threat of failure zips through her brain as she scratches out notes. Graduating means more to her than Akito, she promised her mom she'd get through this stupid school. To Tohru-kun a promise means the world, that's why she feels she can't turn Kyo-kun down. She _promised _she'd go out with him, god that's a binding contract in Tohru's mind.

"You'd better meet us," Uo-chan says, getting busy on her own work. "It's been way too long."

Tohru-kun's sorry, she's really sorry but she just can't meet them. She wants to see her friends, wants to reconnect but Aki's waiting, being late is tantamount to leaving him forever. So she stalks out to the parking lot, hands clenched tight on the straps of her backpack. She fastwalks, runs almost, and she feels like throwing up. But Hana's there, grinning and waving with a tilt of her hand. And Tohru can't ignore her, years of friendship drag her right back in. "Hanajima-san," she says, smiling blandly 'cause she has to go. "You're not in any of my classes this year. I've missed you."

"I've missed you too Tohru-kun, which is why Uo and I were hoping you'd accompany us somewhere. I'm not exactly sure _where _she wants to go, but we'll catch up to her and figure that out, hm?" And she's sounds so sure that Tohru-kun won't tell her no, Tohru feels bad and forgets that Hana always knows more than she lets on. "Come on," she says. "Uo-chan's waiting by the library."

"I can't," says Tohru, brushing her hair back and blushing. "I have to uh…I'm meeting someone! And I need to get going, so can we just do this another time?" She's fidgeting, nervous, she knows what she said just sinks her lower in dear friend's eyes. Hana frowns, asks Tohru-kun just who's more important than her best friends. "Oh Hana don't take it like _that! _I love you guys and you know that I just…I'm busy! Please understand…"

"You seem very uncomfortable Tohru-kun," says Hana, trying to keep the deep hurt out of her tone. "Preoccupied. Please know that Uo and I are always here for you no matter what. We can't help you any if you don't explain though."

"Nothing's wrong," Tohru says, straight-up lying with no facts to back her up. "Everything's just the same Hana-chan, it's just that I'm busy. I'm really sorry."

"Does it have anything to do with Kyo-kun?" Tohru freezes at this, throws hands to her chest and wonders why everything tastes metallic. "He hasn't been in school, has anything happened to him? Maybe that's why you're such a wreck…"

"Kyo-kun's just…ahhh…" She stretches her mind, tries to recall what Aki-kun told her she should say. "He went back to the mountains to keep training, I think. Right, that's it." She laughs. "I'm sure he'll be very strong when he's finished."

"That's odd," says Hana and Tohru flinches, feels sick because she got this wrong. Kyo's lock-up is probably illegal, it could land her Aki-kun in jail. All she sees now is her baby in prison, suffering the rages of his other cellmates. They'd be so much bigger than he is…

"W-why is it odd?" asks Tohru, snatching herself out of her morbid mindset. "I mean martial arts are his passion, aren't they?"

"Well you'd think he'd want to get his high school degree first…" But Hana trails off, doesn't push the subject because she knows that Tohru's scared. "Look," she says. "We just want to see you. Uo's going to bite my head off if I come back without you, so _please _Tohru? We miss you, we love you, whoever's waiting can wait."

Tohru's brain backs up to Akito, thinks of him sitting pissed in the back of the car, crossing his arms and glowering. His ribs must hurt, he must be yelling at Hatori, kicking the seat with impatience. She knows that Hari'll get hurt if she doesn't show, knows that she'll be wholly blamed. But Aki needs her and he'll forgive, he'll take her back because without her he feels like nothing, feels like shit. Uo-chan won't wait for her, won't forgive her if she turns her down. And she doesn't want to lose her friends.

She nods. "Okay," she says. "I'll come with you."

Well Tohru's right, he's kicking the seat, he's screaming and collapsed in tears. _"WHERE IS SHE!" _he wails, throwing Hari forward and he tries not turn around and strangle him. Akito crawls to the front, curls up in the cold man's lap. "She's not _here _Hatori, she _hates _me…I wanna die, I wanna die Hari please please make me die…"

"Akito," he says, eyes ahead and he won't look at him. "You're being ridiculous. I'm sure she has a good reason for being late."

"Yeah," says Akito, swiping at tears and clutching his chest, the rib just aches so badly. "She's got a great reason Hatori, _she can't stand me! _She's never coming back!"

And Hatori just sighs, slumps backwards in the driver's seat. Aki's on his lap and he doesn't feel like reassuring him. He's tired, god he's tired of this lame pathetic man-god. Day in and day out its just meds disease and clinging and if Akito would just say _thank you…_whatever, what he wants is just whatever so he strokes Aki's back as he sobs.

He can feel how much it hurts inside him. Just by touching him, Hatori can tell.

"Oh awesomeness on a stick Tohru, I knew you wouldn't let us down!" Uo-chan sweeps Tohru in a hug, plops kisses on her forehead while she just smiles nervously. God she's never felt more awkward in her life. But Tohru opens her big blue eyes, tells the two she's just so glad to see them. "You'd better be, I mean you had us worried. Had mekinda pissed off actually, and now is _not _the right time of the month to piss me off, if you know what I mean."

The girls nod in agreement, Tohru scans the halls for boys who might just be embarrassed. Soon they're comparing menstrual horror stories, Hana detailing the incredible cramps suffered the last time. Tohru tries to pipe up with a story, realizes then that she hasn't actually had hers in a while. Except for when she bled on Akito, she's been period-free for two months.

That's…not good.

That's really not good at all.

Tohru-kun's hands float down to her stomach, she feels around and tries to figure if she's filled up with a baby. She's looking down and she's not listening, Hana and Uo shut their mouths when they see their darling's hands. "Tohru-kun," says Hana, flicking her eyes down to the spot where Tohru stares. "Is something wrong?"

Tohru grins, takes her hands away and she says she just feels sick. She does, she does, god she's nauseated. Every breath she takes just makes it worse, she can't get the stink of Hana's perfume away from her nose, the taste of coins out her mouth. "I'm okay," she says. Then in contradiction she asks them how they think they'd know if they were pregnant.

"Um…" Uo widens her eyes, puts her hands on her hips and stares at Tohru. "I guess you wouldn't have your period…I don't really know, why do you ask Tohru?"

And Tohru just can't say it, she's rocking back and forth on her feet and blushing hard. Uo-chan already knows what Tohru's asking for. "I guess this explains why you've been so distracted. I assume you haven't taken a test yet."

She shakes her head says no, god no she doesn't know. This hasn't occurred to Tohru 'til now, she didn't connect the nausea with anything but living with Akito. If he's so sick she should be too, it's only fair. And her cycle's never been a burden, she never really noticed the delay. So she tells Uo no, wonders if her best friend thinks she's stupid now.

"Well," says Uo. "I guess I know what we're doing today. Now let me guess, the prince is the father right? I _knew _you two were going out, I _knew _it! God Tohru, why didn't you tell us? I always tell you when _I _have a new boyfriend!"

"We're _not," _she says, "it isn't Yuki." And Tohru sighs, shuts her eyes and lets Hana-chan envelop her. She's all folded warm in a hug and for a while she's quiet, then she whispers soft, "I'm not really sure who it is…"

Uotani, she's just shocked. Hana acts like she's blasé, like who Tohru-kun's banging couldn't interest her any less. She shuffles her feet and sniffles, leaves Uo-chan to do the talking, the shaking of Tohru by the shoulders. "What do you mean you don't _know! _It's one thing to have a boyfriend but _sleeping around! _That's not safe Tohru, it's not right and it's not _you! _When the hell did this _happen?" _

Tohru ducks her head to the side, mutters low like she's been smacked. "'M sorry Uo-chan, I…you wouldn't understand I…don't be mad at me…"

"I'm not _mad _at you Tohru, I'm just worried! And_ confused. _You've never done anything like this in your life before and now you're _pregnant. _I mean you can get an abortion but…Jesus Tohru…"

Hana steps in, says maybe they should go someplace else. "Somebody could hear and unfortunately, Tohru-kun already has enough enemies in Yuki's fan club. We don't want to provide them with ammunition."

They all agree on this being a good point, so they hightail out of there, head out of school for the grocery store. "We can pick up some tests in here," says Uo-chan. "And then I guess we'll head somewhere where you can try 'em out and explain yourself. Where's good, your house? I don't want my mom to think they're mine."

Tohru shakes her head, she can't go back to where her friends believe is home. Shi-chan's hired an exterminator to bomb out all the bugs, the house isn't safe 'til they've finished. Apparently roaches cause asthma attacks, and while Hari's battery of tests haven't determined if that's one of Yuki's problems, roaches are still pretty gross. For now home is the Main House, home is Akito's room.

And she really has to be getting back there.

"Look," she says, "I'm staying with Yuki's relatives because we've hired an exterminator…too many roaches, y'know, it's icky. But we can go over there if you want, I'm sure no one will mind…"

"Oh do you mean Momiji and Haru and those other guys?" asks Uo-chan, smiling hard because she thinks they're cute, she loves Momiji's sloppy grin. Hana's pretty happy too, that kid is Tohru-kun all over. But Tohru tells them no, neither one will be there. "I think you met Hatori, we should see him…oh and there's Akito, he's sort of the family head…you'll need to be respectful…"

"Not to worry Tohru-kun, we'll be on our best behavior," Hana says and Uo just snorts, respect for men doesn't come easy to her. She shrugs, says whatever and they walk along, buy the stuff while Tohru reads the greeting cards. She's too embarrassed, she can't even look at the thin little box in Uo-chan's hands.

When they're done she's hustled out, none of them really talk until they've gotten to the Main House. They try but Tohru's terrified, it's all the poor girl can do to keep walking. So they just keep quiet, let it slide.

When they reach the house though, they don't spare her an interrogation. Tohru's squatting over the toilet in Akito's bathroom, peeing on a pregnancy test while Uo-chan blasts questions at her. "So do we know him?" she asks, arms crossed as she leans on the door. "Is it somebody at school?"

Tohru tells her no, stares down at the strip and reads the directions over and over to make sure this awful news is right. Pink means she's pregnant and guess what? The damn thing's pink, pulsing pounding blushing goddamn pink and Tohru's _pregnant. _"S-should I, should I use more than one?" she asks, hoping the next one will yield a non-life-changing answer.

"Well _duh," _scoffs Uo, rolling her eyes and laughing mildly. Hana's stony-faced and Uo-chan stops, this whole this isn't really all that funny. "Um, yeah Tohru. You'll want to take three or four because they come out wrong sometimes."

So Tohru does, gives up on number four because she's out of urine, it doesn't matter because all of them are pink. She washes up, scrubs her hands half-raw and tears are falling, Tohru's sobbing, saying, "God I'm such a _slut…" _

Her friends raise their eyebrows, Hana walks in. She braids Tohru's hair, does all she can to make her feel sweet and young and innocent. "What makes you say that, Tohru-kun?"

:"I'm, I, uh…I'm h-having…I um, d-did things w-with two, two guys. And I dunno which one's the father and I really really hope it's this one guy 'cause I love him but he's probably gonna die in a couple years and the other one's locked up and and and oh _god…!" _Hana keeps up with the hair thing, pats the poor girl's back as she slides to the floor. Uo-chan's not so sensitive, she's absolutely got to get this clarified because Tohru's not making too much sense. There's more prying and prodding, more questions about the who-what-when-where-why-and-how.

"N-no…I c-can't tell you any more I…" She looks up at them with hollow eyes, sighs hard and doesn't tell the _I can't trust you. _But she can't, there's a lot they could do with the information. They don't know Akito and they don't care, they'd have in jail in ten seconds flat if they knew what he was doing to Kyo. And Uo-chan's not above telling him all about her, throwing in his face the fact that he's unloved. Everything in her says just protect him, she can't trust her friends or herself or anyone but Akito.

"What do you mean _you can't tell us, _Tohru you're talking about someone who's in _jail!" _Uo-chan yells 'cause she's freakin' pissed, she can't stand Tohru keeping all these secrets. "Me and Hana are your best friends in the world or did you forget that? If you can't tell us then who the hell are you gonna tell? Who else will help you?"

"A-akito will help me…" she mumbles and Uotani blinks, she's never heard of this Akito guy. She's about to speak up, rail at her again but Hana stops her, puts her hand to her chest and looks down.

"Arisa," she says, all formality just out the window now. It's her first name, her real name and Hana doesn't know what else she can use to get through to her. "Just let it go. Tohru-kun will tell us when she's ready."

And Tohru just feels so bad because she doesn't think she'll ever be ready to tell the truth.

Time is something you perceive when you feel human. When Akito's sick out of his mind and screaming, time drags on for decades while he waits for all the meds he's downed to work. When he walks into the bathroom and sees Tohru on the floor, time just stops itself right there. For two seconds, two years and two millennia, the two of them just stare each other down. "Y-you…" he says as he grips the sink, tries to keep from keeling over. "T-tohru…you…you weren't there. You abandoned me to be with them. You did. You did that Tohru. I…" He bites his lip, draws blood and howls because he didn't cry when he had a migraine in the morning.

Tohru-kun stands up, smiles wide and grabs for Akito, puts his fragile hand in an iron grip. "My friends are here," she hisses. "Be nice to my friends. Don't say anything that'll make them hate you."

And Akito, he can't say no, can't tell her she's not God and she doesn't call the shots in the Sohma house. It doesn't matter, none if it matters because he hasn't lost her, Tohru's still his if he does her bidding. He'll be good, he'll be _so_ good if she'll just love him. "Okay," he says, "okay."

Tohru marches them to the living room, strong, she's strong and Akito's hunched over, coughing and clutching his chest. Tohru stares him down, looks hard and wants to hold him. Cushion poor Akito against the inevitable. This babies a bomb, Tohru's ammunition if she really wants to hurt him.

Nana: See what I mean when I say this is a pivotal chapter? I'm sure some of you were expecting this but anyway, Tohru's pregnant. Yep. Hopefully I'll be able to pull chapter eight out of my brain and onto the compy come next week, and you'll see where things go from there! Who do you think will be happier when they find out, Kyo or Akito? Haha. Anyway, review me and have a nice day!


	8. Virgin Mary and the Throwaway King

A/N: You readers have been awfully naughty. Getting me all used to four or five reviews a chapter and then not giving me any, that's not nice. Every review for this chapter I had to ask for, and I'm not exactly thrilled by that. A big thank you goes out to those of you who did, and to Raikune who attempted it once and failed, but that's not her fault, it's the website's.

So I'm sorry to complain like this. It's just that I have a lot of other stuff to be doing, and it's somewhat hard to motivate myself if I don't get any feedback. My originals miss their mommy greatly. So that's why this is a little late. Sorry about that. Anyhow, _please _review this chapter if you're reading it! Thank you!

Everybody Wants Her

Chapter Eight – Virgin Mary and the Throwaway King

They sit in the living room, all awkwardness and crazy quiet. Tohru's blathering on about what there is to eat, her friends are stuffing their faces with whatever she offers. Anything's better than trying to talk to Akito, god they haven't the faintest idea what to say. And he's not doing much better, when he tries to talk he coughs and besides, it's not like he knows how to socialize.

So they're all just watching each other, eyes on whoever holds their interest best. This means Tohru-kun's looking at Akito, Uo and Hana have their sights locked on their Tohru-kun, and Akito, he's going from face to face and trying to figure out if these little twits are worth his Tohru's time. Uo-chan kicks her legs and checks her watch, gets vocal over the fact that she is _bored_.

"If you're so bored," seethes Akito, grinding his teeth and Tohru tries to stop him, she fears for her friends but more for his teeth. The thought of him damaging anything in his already wretched form just makes her cringe. Akito shifts his eyes to her, gives her a look to shut her up and sit her down. "If you're so bored," he repeats, "then get the hell out of my house."

"This is _your _house?" Uotani asks, crossing her arms because she isn't buying it, Aki looks too young, too frail to be the venerable family head that Tohru spoke of. Certainly he doesn't look like a homeowner. Uo-chan pictured more of a Buddha-esque old man. "What are you, like twelve or something?"

"I'm _twenty," _he snarls, digging claws into the fabric of his pants. "I don't look twelve and that should be obvious. That remark was rude and uncalled for and I think that you should leave."

"Twenty," says Uo, snorting loud and disgusting. She's pretty sure he's puffing up his age to feel important. She doesn't know that Akito feels ancient, closer to death every day because he shouldn't have survived this long. Most of the Masters just slipped away as kids, the best one stuck it out 'til he was thirty-five. But the man was an exception, Akito hasn't got nearly all that time.

When he thinks of this he wants to hurt these girls, cut short the lengthy lives they're looking forward too. They have sixty years stretched out ahead, ages and ages to screw around with. Akito has what, two, three years? That's not much, that's fucking nothing and it's none of their faults but he hates them. They get to _live, _his _family _gets to live if they replace him and they'll be _thrilled _if they succeed. They'll do it, he's dispensable, a throwaway king.

No one will miss him at all…

"Akito," says Tohru, sidling up and slipping her arms around his wire-thin waist. "Are you alright? You don't look very happy…did Uo-chan say something to upset you, because if she did then she's really sorry and I am too…" Tohru sounds terrible, flipping out with fear because a confrontation is the last thing in the world she's ever gonna want. She turns to her eye-rolling friend, says nice and sweet, "right Uo-chan?"

"Whatever," she says, snarfing down another dried-up umeboshi. Bits stick in her teeth and she works them out, staring warily at Akito. "So Mr. Twenty-year-old house-possessor, you're what, the prince's cousin or something? You look enough like him to be his brother, but Tohru says his brother's more…well for lack of a better word, flaming."

Hana butts in and says that of course that's not what _Tohru _said, Tohru wouldn't describe anyone that way. But the comment's pretty much ignored, Akito just responds to Uo and says he hasn't a clue who they mean by _the prince._

"Jeez," Uo says. "Are you living under a rock?" Tohru plays with Aki's fingers, tells him that some of the kids call Yuki that at school. Akito laughs, too hard to be normal and they lapse into silence again. It's awkward but they pass the time, staring at whatever until Akito hears a sound.

It's Hana, she's coughing too, just once or twice and really quiet but she's _coughing. _No one, _no one _does that without documented non-contagious explanations, not around Akito, no. His hands shoot straight to his face in self-protection, and he asks Hana stiffly just why the hell she's doing that. "Doing what?" she asks, tilting her head real slight to the side. "Is something wrong?"

"You were _coughing," _he says, like the crime in this is so self-evident. His voice is strained, he's wound up and about to pounce, kill the girl if not for Tohru holding him. "Would you care to _explain yourself!" _

Hana blinks, glances fast around the room. "Um, I was just coughing… I think I may getting a bit of a cold…is that a problem?" She's confused, she can see the fury flying through his veins. Concern she'd get, Hana's used to Tohru's overactive care taking. But this rage is just beyond her, Hana cannot understand.

And nothing's explained when Akito shoots up, stomps off to the nearest room with Tohru-kun in tow. It's quiet, calm so the two just sit there sedentary. The girls don't know what great insulation this place provides, that the walls are thick and they wouldn't necessarily hear what's there to worry them. If they heard a sound they'd barge right in there but they don't, they don't and Aki's screaming at her.

_"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" _shrieks Akito, pinning Tohru to the wall. "Are you trying to kill me Tohru, is that what it is? I mean that makes sense, if you kill me you're free to be with your precious _Kyo-kun! _But he's gonna die if I fucking die _so what are you gonna do then Tohru!" _

"A-akito…" she says, eyes bleeding tears and she doesn't know what to say. Akito looks crazed, deranged and he's got his nails on her arms, hooked in and raking down. Tohru can't tell what he means and that alone is killing her. She should know him, understand because she's buried under pounds and tons of love.

She tries to hold him. She tries to hold him but he spins himself away. _"Don't touch me!" _he says. "You could be infected too, don't _fucking _touch me!" Tohru reaches out for him again, her hugs have got to work and besides, he's just been scratching her. He can't care too much about lack of contact if her blood is in his hands.

"What's wrong?" she asks, Aki in her arms again and he's struggling, screaming as loud as his lethargic lungs will let him. He's sobbing, wracked with tears and he can't even breathe anymore. "Deep breaths," she tells him. "Calm down and tell me what's wrong. No one's trying to kill you. No one wants to hurt you Akito…"

"T-then why…w-why did you bring _her _here?" Another sob shakes him and he's coughing too, his knees give out and Tohru goes down with him. They sit on the floor by the wall and the window, Tohru staring vaguely at the sky. "She, she's _sick _Tohru, she said she was and…"

"People get sick," says Tohru-kun, pushing damp hair away from Aki's tear-soaked face. "Not just you, it happens. I bet even Hatori's been sick before. It's nothing to get upset about."

"You're such a fucking hypocrite!" he says, rubbing harshly at the broken rib. "You freak out about this kind of thing too and now you're talking to me like I'm some insane little kid and I'm _not _Tohru, I have every goddamn right to feel this way! Use your brain if you fucking have one, if you think about it you'll see why!"

Now she knows the man's got crap for an immune system, she knows that he'll fall ill with little provocation. Tohru's just as good as he is at blowing things out of proportion, but she can't quite handle how he yelled at Hana. But she keeps quiet because Akito's still crying, yelling about how there are _rules _about this kind of thing, Tohru brokethe rules by bringing Hana here. "No one's allowed here if they're sick except for _me! _I could _die _Tohru, my immune system's just one step up from an AIDS patient's!"

Tohru-kun's taken aback, she didn't know it was all that bad and she thinks that he's exaggerating. "Yuki's here though isn't he? Aren't you worried about that?"

"Don't be stupid," he scoffs. "Asthma's not contagious."

She flinches, Aki sounds so smug, so superior and she just can't stand it. Of _course _Akito knows these things, he lives in a universe of failing health and Tohru's only just landed there. It's not fair of him to expect her to know everything that he does. "What about Hatori?" she asks. "What happens if he gets sick?"

"He _doesn't!" _Aki shrieks, pausing to cough wetly into his shaking fist. "That would _never _happen, I wouldn't let it!" The thought just totally undoes him, if Hari's not perfect then Akito's dead, he's hasn't a chance if his doctor is gone. "I should get it over with," he says, "just kill myself right here. I don't have too much time left anyway, and who knows how I'll go? It's not worth it, you left me alone and you're trying to kill me, I really should just die."

None of that's the point of course. Though the Tohru thing just kills him, he's been wanting to die and just dreading it all his life. Everyday he wakes up knowing that this could be it, that his life is wasted and fragile and lost. Everything he does seems pointless, with death in his head he's just paralyzed. The best thing, he thinks, is to take control. The pain of death could be unbearable, much worse than anything that Hari's prepped him for.

He's scared. He's fucking scared and Tohru's trying to kill him. He loves her to death but she wants him dead, all he can do is hit her and hurt her 'til she feels as horrible as he does. "Maybe we can die together," he says, yanking at her hair and pulling hard. "If I beat you to death and down some pills, then we can die in each other's arms. It'd be really—"—he hits her, hits her hard and she starts to scream—"—_romantic!"_

And Aki's just smashing her head down, pounding her fast and hard and mean and she's pleading with him please don't do this. Tears streak her face and she says, "you must be tired. Beating me must…it must take a lot…out of you…"

That selflessness, that cavalier attitude towards herself, towards the person that Aki loves most in the world…god it's appalling. He's tiredyeah, but he's hitting her! This is domestic abuse, why the hell is she sitting here taking it, asking _him_ if he's okay? That's so _Sohma _of her, so absolutely _pitiful! _This works him up and he keeps on mauling, throwing fists at every twitching bit of skin. He shrieks at her, she's a goddamn fucking murderer and she's to blame for all of this, for everything, just for bringing Hana here she's caused the Sohma curse. Akito can barely breathe for all his shouting; Tohru just looks up and asks for him to stop.

"Don't do this," she says, "you'll regret it. You're gonna feel so bad when you're done. You love me, you don't want to hurt me and you know it."

"Love has nothing to do with it Tohru, I loved Yuki-kun too and I _destroyed _him, I loved Hatori and I took his eye!" He coughs, slaps her face and she sucks in her teeth, she's shocked.

"W-why do you, why do you have to do this to me?" she asks, serious like she expects an answer, and Akito just laughs at her. She's on the floor, looking at him and her hair's spread out just like a doped-up angel's. "Why Akito…?"

_Because you tried to kill me…because hurting you makes me feel alive, because I'm going to die_ and I am terrified. "Because I love you," he chokes, like this means anything. "And you'll just forget me if I'm not sliced into your skin."

She smiles, so stupid, and asks him why he thinks her memory's so bad. "I'm going to die," he tells her, "probably soon, and I'm nothing special. Other gods have been far crueler, and I'm not the kind exception. I'm a jerk, I know it, and as soon as I die they'll replace me, they're not even going to _care. _I, I've totally wasted my life, and I'm going to be alone in the end because no one loves me. You don't, you _don't _Tohru…"

And then they're both crying, Tohru's bleeding from her arm and Akito thinks that this is what he's done to her. But that pin in her skin isn't Akito's, he'd never own anything pink that said _flower power. _And Aki's hands don't touch the pin, those are Tohru's fingers, Tohru's palm and Tohru's wrists, these awful marks are all on her. "Oh thanks," he says, "thanks a lot. I just tell you how I want to leave my fucking mark and you make it for me. Thanks Tohru, that totally proves you love me…"

Tohru wipes the blood away.

"You're sliced into my skin," she says. "My arm says Akito…"

Akito softens, just breaks down and pitches forward, landing hard at Tohru's feet. He crawls to her, takes her small face in his shaking hands. He kisses her and clings, wraps arms around the girl because she's his his his and she loves him. God she'd never maim herself if that weren't it. "Thank you," he says, "thank you so much…"

Tohru ignores the pain, the burn to the beat of Aki's name. She pays it no mind and all she says is "you're welcome."

Akito doesn't get too terribly ill, so he's confused and can't quite look at Tohru-kun. It's embarrassing and he feels like he's a hypochondriac, an imbecile or someone faking it. But he does get sick, he has a cold but it's not so bad, not anything he's not used to. He can't really take that it's tolerable, Akito lies to Tohru-kun and plays like he's about to die. Guilts her, gets her absolutely frantic until Hatori tells her it's not actually that bad.

She doesn't confront him, doesn't want to get him flipping out and in another fight. She's still feeling the pain and she's bruised all over, Tohru-kun can't go to Kyo because he'd ask too many questions. In the end she's staying away from everybody, locking herself in random rooms. Tohru-kun's in mental hell, there's a little kid swimming around inside her and no one who could help her knows. She's praying for the proper father, telling herself it's Akito, but God good God it might not be.

And if it's not, he's really gonna kill himself. Every one of these beautiful people will die because of her. Worse, much worse, she won't have her Akito. He'll be hurt, destroyed and whether he passes on or not she'll lose him.

She'd rather lose her limbs then Akito. Trade 'em all in but she's praying, begging her parents in the sky to please please make this baby turn out right. It doesn't give her that much confidence, and some days she can barely bring herself to move. She can't speak to Akito, can't speak to anyone because it's bound to come out, it's getting obvious as the months roll by. One day she's eating breakfast with him, shoveling way more rice then she ever would for just herself, and Akito looks straight at her stomach, gives a little cough and tells her, "Tohru-kun you're getting fat. You need to stop eating so much."

No one's there to tell him off, smack his hand and say he's way too rude. Not that anybody would, but Tohru can always lie to herself, pretend her lover isn't God. "I'm sorry Akito," she says, wishing she could roll her eyes. "I can't help it though, I'm hungry…does it really look that bad?"

"It's really just your stomach," he says, shoving a big glob of rice grains into his mouth. He smiles as he chews, like haha I can get away with this. He swallows, the rice grossly visible in his thin little throat. "It's poofing out way more than it should…I dunno, that's not normal is it? I haven't really seen that many fat people but it doesn't _seem _normal…maybe you should get Hatori to check you out, hm?"

And he sounds so genuinely concerned, so cute and he's playing with his hair and kicking his feet and sniffling and he's just so there and alive and he trusts her loves her _so_ much and God good God she can't keep lying to her _GOD, "_I'm pregnant!"

His hands fly down, his feet get calm and Akito pushes forward, stands up and stares his Tohru down. _"What?" _he says, eyes wide and wild and ready to pop. _"What did you say?" _

Tohru's eyes fall to the floor, she's mumbling and nervous and she wishes he'd never brought this up, never called her fat because he should know you just don't call a lady that. Still, it had to come out because in about six months a baby will, Akito's not dumb enough to miss the signs of labor. "I…I'm not fat I…I'm pregnant…"

He laughs, just throws his head back and laughs hysterically, coughs himself sick as he does. He grabs for his chest, falls apart in the chair because the broken rib just kills him, it hurts and he hates Kyo horribly. "Don't let me do that again…" he mutters, wrecked when he'd been fine just seconds ago. "I should prolly take some of those painkiller thingies…I dunno where Hari put them though. Whatever, anyway Tohru you _can't _be pregnant." He laughs again, shoots himself full of pain and it shows. "T-that's…crazy…"

"Why not?" she asks, patting the sweet little monster inside her, her hands spread wide across her waist. "It's not like I'm a virgin Akito."

"Right but you've only been with _me," _he says, coughing again and freakin' pissed that the rib hasn't healed yet. It's been months and it should have, Aki just obsessed over this while he tries not to listen to Tohru. He knows what's coming next, knows that Tohru's gonna tell him how she cheated. So he shuts her out, tunnels his mind to his ribs and bypasses obvious solutions. He's slow to heal, his system sucks, but he can't admit this because it means taking his brain back to Tohru. And he'll just completely lose it if she says a word.

"Of course!" she claims, waving her arms like a frenzied bird. Akito chokes back a knot in his throat; she's so obvious it's killing him. "W-why would you, why would you even ask? I m-mean really Akito, don't you, don't you trust me?"

"Remember that whole schpeel about how I'm practically impotent?" he asks her, wondering if the girl has a brain in her head or any memory at all. Sometimes her stupidity just shocks him, he can't even believe that he's with this girl. She's not even smiling and he needs her for that, needs her to show off those pearly whites because he can pretend to be happy if she does. And she's not, she's not and he's got to change that.

All he knows how to do is yell though, demand that she fix her face in a frozen grin. She sags within seconds, nods bleakly that yeah, she remembers. "But I'm pregnant," she tells him, leaning forward on her gut to protect the fetus, save it's life if Akito gets angry. "I took three tests and I've had morning sickness and everything tastes like metal and there's a _baby _in here, I can tell. I mean you said it was possible,right?"

"It's _possible, _but so is getting hit by a fucking _meteor!" _Akito snaps, bangs his fist on the table and gives out a little gasp of pain. Cradling his hand he keeps on talking, keeps belting out more of the same. He can't change his tack, can't suggest that she _is _pregnant and it isn't his, that his honeybee betrayed him.

"I'm sorry that you don't believe me," she says to him softly, takes his hand, the hurt one, and plays with the translucent fingers. "I guess it won't be long before we find out if I'm wrong or not."

Akito groans, he's about to throw his head on the table but he doesn't, he doesn't want another headache. He's been downing the Sertraline like it's water or something, and the side effects aren't exactly joyous fun. He can't sleep and he's shaky and scared, his stomach's just been killing him. So he just sits down, slumps over softly with his head in his hands. "You want my rice?" he asks. "If you've got a baby in there you probably need it."

"Well no, you need to eat…" she says, then she shakes her head and shoves them back on topic. "Look Akito, let's just say I _am _pregnant, I _am _having your baby. Are you okay with this, I mean, would you want me to have an abortion? I was kind of thinking about it because I have to finish school, and if it were Uo-chan or somebody else that would probably be the best plan but it's _me _and I don't want to get rid of my baby…" She stops, takes a breath because she's just been babbling. She looks at him, strokes her Aki's hair and asks him what he wants.

"What a hypothetical question," he snorts, loving the cold of her hand on his scalp. "If you really are pregnant, despite the fact that my sperm count must be in the negatives, and despite the fact that whatever I do have is probably so weak and wimpy that they'd just die the second they fell out of me, if it's still _somehow _my kid, I guess I'd want you to keep it. I mean you obviously want to—"—he pauses to cough—"—and anyway if you have my baby you'll have to tell her something about her dear old dad when he's dead, right? That way you can never totally forget me."

"Oh Akito…" she sighs, kissing the top of his head really quick. "I'm not going to _forget _you, and you're not going to die, not yet anyway. You feel fine now, right?"

"In opposite land, I'm great," he says, straightening up and staring at her. "Listen Tohru, if you _are _pregnant then you need to tell Hatori. Any offspring of mine is bound to be fucked up, so you need to get tests and take care of yourself."

Tohru winces, says she's sure the baby's fine and they needn't bother Hatori. She's well aware that Aki's right, she's just iffy about the whole testing thing. She's not sure exactly what's revealed, and while she's telling herself the Daddy's Akito, she could be wrong and Hatori could rat her out. But of course she can't say any of this, so all she tells him is that the doctor's far too busy.

"Bullshit," says Akito, rolling his eyes past crushing pain. Another migraine's starting up, he'll be back in bed in minutes. But he can still stay up and nag at Tohru, tell her she's basically bearing Jesus Christ. "If you don't talk to Hatori then I will, okay my little Virgin Mary?"

Tohru-kun thumbs through the little library in her mind, tries to remember who it is he's talking about. Virgin Mary, Jesus Christ…oh yeah, that's Christianity. She knows some kids who practice that. It's not exactly common here, though Akito spews references all the time. But Tohru forgets, and now she's laughing at her Akito. He sure can be obscure. "I read," he says, by way of explanation. "All the time. I have nothing better to do."

And she's about to be insulted, get all pouty because it sounds like he's saying she that doesn't. But he's grinning and she lets it go, clears away the plates while Akito strides quietly to bed.

Nana: Well congratulations, you got past not only my review begging up top there, but also Chapter Eight of Everybody Wants Her! In 12 point font on my computer, this whole thing's 54 pages so far. So kudos all around.

I apologize for the religious references. I was a little iffy about using them, because of the story taking place in Japan and all, but I figure that Christianity is a pretty big name religion, and anyway it's just too perfect. Akito's God and Tohru may be carrying his baby. Not only that, but that's not even supposed to be possible, much like it's not supposed to be possible for a virgin to get pregnant. Anyway yeah. I like having Akito give Tohru nicknames anyway, it's cute.

So I hope you liked and that you'll review me and come back for Chapter Nine. In either that or the next one you'll find out who the daddy is! You know you want to know!


	9. WLBEIWAHRS Stands For Something!

A/N: There's nothing I like more than a good review, and you guys actually provided this time! I feel so loved. Hopefully I'll get enough reviews this time that I won't have to explode the ears of those around me with complaining about how much I want them Hehe.

Now in this chapter, Kyo-kun finally gets some face-time. I bet all you kitty boy fans are pretty happy, huh? He's probably just sitting in his cage some more, but who knows? Maybe he's gotten a sidekick named Beegly-Boog, and they're plotting world domination right now…hmm… (Because, having written the chapter, I totally don't know what's going to happen.)

Anyway, have fun reading and leave me a nice crunchy review when you're done!

Everybody Wants Her

Chapter Nine – Wouldn't Life Be Easier If We All Had Reindeer's Syndrome?

Dr. Sohma's doing paperwork when Tohru-kun walks in, berating a teenage girl for typing out Akito's medical record all wrong. "Midori, look at this. You put _Reindeer's syndrome _in this space here, _Reindeer's. _That isn't anything, and it's very difficult for me to tell if you mean Meniere's syndrome or Reye's syndrome or something else all together." He sighs, scribbles something down and the poor girl stares down at her mammoth platform boots, mumbles something about being really sorry.

"You'd better be Midori, mistakes can be fatal in the medical profession. If you're going to be this careless then maybe you ought to rethink your career choice. Medical school may not be worth your time." She's close to tears and Tohru's just aching to hold her, make things better for this little girl she's never met. But that's not why she's here, and she finds it kind of funny how she's about to admit to future parenthood, and here she is restraining maternal urges.

"Hatori?" she says, and he whips around, eyes absolutely bloodshot.

"Tohru-kun?" he asks, standing up fast from his stark-white desk. "What's going on, what are you doing here? Is something wrong with Akito?"

She shakes her head, says no and smiles at Midori. She's trying to braid her hair and failing, Tohru-kun can't help but saunter over and help out. "Don't worry Hatori," she says, Midori's black hair weaving in and out of her fingers. It doesn't even occur to her that she might be weirded out. "Akito's fine, I'm actually here for me…well sort of. I'm…well how do I put this…I'm um…expecting?"

"Expecting?" he asks, fixing his eyes straight on hers. He knows what she means but asks her anyway, says "expecting what?"

Of course she blushes, of course she's heavily humiliated. Tohru's no good at explanations, and anything that's the slightest bit embarrassing just kills her. And this Midori girl is staring at her grinning, thinking Tohru-kun's a whore. "A baby," she says softly, moving far away from Midori. "Akito's baby…"

"You'll excuse us Midori," Hatori says, nodding slightly in the girl's direction. He slips several sheets of paper into her long-fingered hands, sends her out to pick up another batch of prescriptions. There's tons and she's just praying that all of them aren't for Akito. She's never seen him take his daily slew, he tends to swallow them when she's with Kyo or when she's sleeping. It's scary though, she can't believe her Aki's really all that sick.

Midori flounces out, her headphones already blaring the first few bars of some spooky techno song. Tohru's wishing that Hari kept a radio on, that there was something to listen to other than his strangely placid breath. She's used to air dragged in, ragged and harsh and hurting. She takes a good gulp of air on her own, realizes that she sounds just as normal as Hari does.

She's healthy, she's different from her Akito. _Make me sick, _she wants to say, _turn me into your holy being. _But that's ridiculous, she's got a kid to keep in mind and besides, she really doesn't want to be like her pill-popping beloved one. Hari's staring her down and she's steeped in self-consciousness, biting her lip and pulling her shoulders in a lame façade of fetal position. She wonders if she would have told her mother, if she'd be seeing insurance-supplied physicians with Kyoko at her side. Mother wouldn't even be able to believe that this was Tohru-kun, she'd never have envisioned this fate for her little girl. And she's pretty much doing what her mom did, getting knocked up way too soon. Likely, the child would suffer a dying father, a dead one just like Tohru did. She's a be a single mom working herself silly, repeating all the bad parts because she's such a little slut. Maybe she should get an abortion, end this little issue before it gets too out of hand.

"Tohru-kun?" says Hatori, bidding her to sit straight down. "I don't mean to…insinuate anything, but…are you _sure _that Akito's the father? Not to say that you've been _unfaithful _but…I _am_ his doctor and it seems highly unlikely that he's…_healthy _enough to procreate…"

Tohru laughs, tries to cover up the fact that Hari's right. Hard as she tries to stay in denial, there's a good chance this kid is really Kyo-kun's. It would hurt Aki too much to even bring up the possibility, so she just tells the doctor that she sees no other option. "Unless there's some way to get pregnant that I don't know about, then yeah, it's Akito's." Then she giggles, can't resist. "Unless I'm the Virgin Mary or something."

Hatori ignores her, says that he's amazed, shocked and not exactly all that thrilled about it. "If I were you I'd seriously consider an abortion. The chance that the offspring of a family head will turn out normal is almost nonexistent. Deformities and serious illnesses are things that you'll have to plan for and expect. The child may be mentally ill as well, perhaps impossible to deal with as he or she grows older. And Akito will probably be of very little help when it comes to dealing with these issues."

Tohru tries to shove this little speech away, make everything Hari said untrue. "No," she says, "no Akito would help me. I mean this baby is his, he'd have to love it right? And he'd know what it's like to be um…not well."

Hari sighs, pats her hand because she's just so frustratingly naïve. "It's not that he wouldn't _want _to help you out Tohru, flawed as he is he's not horrible. It's just that, more likely than not, he simply won't be able to. He has a personality disorder, he's borderline, and besides that he's physically ill. He won't have the strength to get up in the middle of the night and deal with a baby, he won't have the patience or mental stamina to actually raise it. And honestly, he won't be around much longer. He's got a good few years left but…not enough time to raise a child."

It brings them both down when he spews all that, every bit of good in this is gone from Tohru now. She's clutching at what's left of it, stroking the embryo inside. "What makes you think he'll die?" she asks, looking limply at the tiled floor. "I mean, I know that he's sick but he's lived this long suffering the same, why put a limit on it now?"

Hari almost laughs, almost pets her head since she's just so precious. "Tohru-kun, it's not that anything's really different. Right now he's the best he's ever been. But he's reaching the limit. When a normal person is ninety years old they've got one foot in the grave no matter what. And that's how it is for Akito at the age of twenty."

"This is the best?" she asks, remembering Aki hooked up to the oxygen, so small and sickly pale against the deep blue sheets. "He's been _worse _than this? It's horrible now though…oh my poor Akito…"

Tohru's head is in her hands while Hari talks, if he's muffled maybe he's not real. "He's had cancer," he says. "Leukemia, since he was two. He's relapsed five times since then, and I don't doubt that he will again. We poisoned him into remission about three months before you started living at Shigure's." He looks dead serious when he says he doubts that it was worth it, and to Tohru-kun that means it must have been horrific, unbearable enough that Hatori thinks he should have sacrificed the entire Sohma just to stop it. But she doesn't ask, doesn't pry because whatever he could say sounds horrible either way.

"Look," she says, too stuck on the baby to just call it off, just kill it. "I don't want an abortion. I was…I was thinking about it but…I don't think it's right for me. Even if Akito can't do much to help I still…I still want to try. I can do this, I mean my father died when I was young and my mother did just fine until she…"

"Until she died?" Hatori supplies, too kind as per usual. "Don't base your life off your parents Tohru, it's never a good idea."

"But my mother was wonderful," says Tohru-kun, picking her head up to catch the light of Mom. "And she always said that I was her greatest gift, the best part of her entire life…I don't want what could be _my _greatest gift sucked out of me…"

"You're not your mother Tohru and your child is not _you. _I'm sure you were a wonderful little girl, but this kid probably won't be. Maybe it'll have your temperament, but with Akito around I highly doubt it. He's a god Tohru, and as a Sohma the child will know that, and model itself accordingly. We're all a little crazy thanks to Akito." And he smiles, sincerely, serenely, as if this were something good.

"Have some faith Hatori," says Tohru, such a hypocrite because she has no faith at all. "There's no need to be so grim."

"If you want to believe it's just pessimism then go right ahead," says Hatori, shaking his head and standing up. "You'll see when the kid's born. Anyway, we'll need to do some tests. As you most likely know, the tests are rather…intimate, and you might be uncomfortable with my performing them. Since you're not a Juunishi and you're not expecting one, it's fine if you want to see another doctor. I can arrange an appointment for you if you like…do you have health insurance?"

Tohru shakes her head and Hari says he'll work it out, that all she has to worry about is bringing the child of God into the world. "I'll let you know once I've got you an appointment. For now, here's a prescription for prenatal vitamins. Start taking them as soon as possible, this kid's going to need every advantage it can get."

Tohru nods, wonders briefly if her scarred-up arm's been hanging out this whole time. Hatori's eyeing it, but she never does know if his glances mean anything, if it's more than the wandering of a now useless eye. At any rate he says nothing and she's glad, she's a little embarrassed by it now. She feels like a bit of a poser, trying to join some group she was never meant to belong to. Hari's got the real scars, he's half-blind and it was Akito's idea. Still, the carving had just thrilled him, and Tohru would do anything to keep her Aki pleased.

"Yeah," she says, throwing the afflicted limb behind her back. "I'll pick them up as soon as Akito's okay with my leaving the house."

"Well that'll be sometime around never," Hari grumbles, irritated by this of all things. "I suppose we can get one of the maids to do it. Maybe Midori, it's one of the few things she gets right consistently. I wouldn't have hired her but she's the sister of a friend of Kana's, and she wants to be a doctor…might as well do the girl a favor."

Tohru's heart just melts at that, her mind shoots itself straight back to the sad story of wrecked and ruined love. And it kills her to realize that she loves the one who did this, that her Akito's capable of such cruelty. She knows he is, she's heard the stories but still. He's pathetic, a tortured baby and she can't even picture him acting out the scenes of Sohma history.

At least Kyo never took away anyone's reason for living.

Maybe she's made a mistake after all...

And maybe she'd better kill that train of thought right now, because she's pregnant and it's Aki's kid, because she loves him to death and he means well, it would break him, tear him to pieces if she turned him down. No, no she's not even going to consider Kyo. She'll just go back to Akito, wait by his side for prenatal care to fall into her lap. It's simple that way, just how it should be. It's what Tohru swears to God she wants.

Weeks pass with Tohru in a mental coma, sleepwalking in and out of Dr. Hari's office, seeing him or the other guy he hired. Tests are coming up inexplicably well, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with this baby at all. This is all pretty suspicious, but Hari's not such a Lord-and-Master lapdog that he'd just report it all. He makes it seem like it's just real good luck, that non-Sohma genes are coming up dominant for the first time in history. They can all fake ecstasy at the news.

Thing's aren't marvelous for Akito either. His problems are minor but they're driving him mad, his cold's getting worse and he's done the same silly thing that little kids do, he's torn up his nose with scratchy paper towels. This is seriously the best he's ever been, but nevertheless he isn't grateful, ever little thing just gets him raging since he's so stressed out in the first place. He starts off making charts, trying to figure out where Tohru-kun has been every day. But there's so much time he can't account for, so many hours when she could've slipped off and gotten pregnant somewhere else.

It kills him, betrayal's way too much for Aki to take in. Half the time he's torn between watching her and zoning out, sleeping to stop the sick obsession. So what he does is run in and hurt Yuki-kun, smack him once and dart away. It's random and the rat can't predict it, it's scaring him to death and his asthma kicks in every time.

For Akito it's a good distraction, he can pretend he still lives in the past. He reads like crazy, downs two books a day to keep his mind away from Tohru. He blasts music in his already damaged ears, scrawls pissed off poetry on the walls in pen. Constant occupation is the only thing that keeps him sane, if he stays idle for a moment he'll just go nuts. He doesn't sleep and he wanders the grounds at night, passing out randomly when he's overdone it.

One night he finds himself near Kyo-kun, the thick-barred cage in his dimming sight. If he'd had the slightest bit of sense on his side, he'd have struggled back home right away. He's exhausted, it's 2 AM and his legs are twitching with the effort of the trek. It's late at night and it's late November, it's ridiculous, against doctor's orders for Akito to be out at all. But Kyo's so connected, entangled in everything Akito's trying to avoid. He can't resist, he heads for Kyo-kun's cage with no plan at all in his head.

The walk up is hard on him, and he's gasping for air, coughing hard into tightly clenched fists. He's trying not to look at Kyo-kun; he's in no mood right now to revel in the pain he's caused. "Hi…" he says, sniffling and staring warily at the kitty.

Of course, Kyo-kun's not especially welcoming. It's late as hell and he'd been sleeping, Akito's not somebody he'd want to see midday. Their last meeting's still engraved, it's all he can think about when he sees him, small and shrinking in the dark of the night. Kyo doesn't take posture into account, he thinks that Aki's here with some sadistic punishment, some sordid tale of fucking Tohru. But Akito's quiet, his eyes wide with what could be panic. It takes far too long for him to compose himself, to slap the cruel expression back onto his face. When he finally gets it it's so fake that it's funny.

"So my little pussy cat," snarls Akito, biting his lip to stave off coughs. It doesn't work and he bursts, hacks all over his hands and he's embarrassed, he didn't want to look like someone weak in front of Kyo-kun. "Are you enjoying your stay in the kennel? Maybe you'd like your litter changed, eh?"

"That'd be great, yeah," says Kyo-kun, wondering if this is an offer or if he's just being fooled around with. Akito seems unaffected by the repulsive stink slinking through the bars, borne of months and months of an unchanged box and Kyo not bathing. Kyo on the other hand, can't stand it. If they'd just let him out, just once, for some decent food and a shower, a real toilet and a change of clothes…god he'd never oppose any of the Sohma's plans again.

"Look," says Akito, sitting down on the cold spiky grass by the foot of the cage. He's too tired to get metaphorical, to think that he's at Kyo-kun's feet. It's not that way, it can't be, at all costs Akito has to keep control. Kyo's done nothing but glare at him, shown no signs of wanting to repeat what happened last time. Still Akito's afraid, his rib still throbs with what the kitty did. "Look I…you should probably know that Tohru's…she's pregnant. It's _my _baby, not yours because you two haven't done anything, right? That's what you said, _right!"_

He's shaking as he says this, coughing a line through the words. He's flirting with the truth and he knows it, knows he'll have to make Kyo kill him if he doesn't lie. "Please…" he begs. "Please tell me you never…"

"Why do you care?" Kyo asks him, peering down at the shivering god. Akito's possessive, faking feelings for Tohru, Kyo can't believe that this cold-hearted jailer really loves the girl. When Kyo thinks of Akito all that comes to mind is rage, petty revenge with little provocation. But now he's got this new image, Aki curled like a baby in Tohru's arms, blood spilling down the front of his clothes.

That Akito is a lot like the one who sits before him now.

And this Akito tells him why he cares, he says to him, "I love her. God more than anything. I can't…I can't stand to think that she…" He pauses, crying in spite of all the things he wishes Kyo-kun could see. He's supposed to be cruel, a ruthless dictator with no feeling but anger at all. He's burning with shame and he's trying to stop, trying to play like Tohru's just a power trip.

Kyo knows better though, and his fingers snake slowly through the bars into Aki's night-chilled hair. "Yeah," he says, shocked by how good it feels to reach out to God. "I know what you mean man, I love her too."

Aki shakes himself away, burns holes in Kyo with the look in his eyes. "You _love _her? That's not…no, you can't because you're so…you're _better _for her I…she'll choose you over me if you love her…but it's my baby, _mine_, it has to be…" He's barely audible, all Kyo picks up in the shut-down horror in the poor kid's voice.

"How far along is she?" he asks, trying to keep things neutral, not to fight because to do so's just ridiculous, he's learned by now that staying calm will keep him safe, that no one's on his side and only staying still will do him good. Kyo is docile, not himself, but part of him still wants Akito to die.

"Four months," he says, "five to go."

"She could still get an abortion then," states Kyo, so sure that this is just what Tohru wants. The idea of his little beauty bearing this bastard's child…it's just more than Kyo can bear. And because Kyo doesn't want it there's no way Tohru can, why the hell would she ruin her life over _Akito? _It's not like she's a Sohma, not like she's got a biological obligation.

Akito sneezes, wipes his nose in plain view with the back of his hand. "That's disgusting," says Kyo-kun, ignoring the sickening squalor of where he's living now. "Anyway Tohru's not keeping this kid, is she?"

"Of _course,_" snarls Akito, "why wouldn't she?"

"You must not know her very well if you don't know _that," _laughs Kyo-kun, feeling vaguely superior for the first time in months. "Look you know her parents are dead, right?" Aki shakes his head and Kyo can't believe it, these guys have been together for _ages_, he's clueless! "Wow Akito, you don't know _anything_ about her. So what, she's just your little fuck-bunny? She's your sweet little trophy slut that you can use to make us all miserable." His hands shoot through the bars and he shoves at Akito, says he's a loserly little liar, a dick stuffed with shit and he deserves immortality, the Sohma's all know how much Aki wants to die.

All his calms out the window now, it's just the same for both of them. Aki stands up and they reach for each other, hiss and spit and bang heads. Kyo's just fine but Aki's reeling, staggering backwards from the sickly splitting pain. "I'm _delicate, _you fuck!" he shrieks, hunched over with his head in his hands. "That _hurt!" _

"Yeah, it was kinda supposed to," Kyo says, laughing hard and rubbing at his own head. "Anyway, if you knew anything about Tohru-kun, you'd know that she promised her mother she'd graduate from high school. To Tohru a promise is a binding contract, and her mother's dead so that makes it even worse. She worshipped her, so she can't just let the woman down. Tohru's not about to have your psychotic little offspring."

"No," gasps Akito, quiet with his fists clenched tight, he's facing the ground with his eyes squeezed shut, his bare toes digging holes into the earth. He's been out here for hours, shoeless and devoid of proper clothes, he's freezing. And it takes everything in Akito just to think about this, to not take to heart what Kyo-kun said.

It barely lasts and it barely works; now there's hell in both body and mind. "Look," he snaps, gathering strength, rising up high with fury in his eyes. "You haven't seen Tohru-kun in months, you didn't even _know _she was pregnant. And do you want to know _why? _Huh Kyo-kun, do you want to know _why _your precious Tohru can't be bothered to walk the quarter-mile to your cage? It's because she doesn't _care. _Tohru's got a new life now, with me, and she's ecstatic. She's a rosy-faced mom-to-be, madly in love with the father of her miracle. She adores me Kyo-kun, _me me me _andnot _you! _She wants this kid and she _will _finish high school, don't you realize that she's shacking up with someone _powerful? _She doesn't have to stay home with the little brat if she doesn't want to!"

Seconds pass with Kyo in shock, pushing away the picture of his Tohru in marital bliss with a monster. Tohru hasn't come because…well he doesn't know, but it can't be that she doesn't care, she wants to be friends and she _said _so, they've fucked at least five times now! Akito's wrong, he must be, and it's not like he has anything to back him up, it's not like he has proof. Kyo-kun's about to demand it, insist that Aki bring her here, but the kid's started screaming, belting out reasons why Kyo should go to hell. Mid-yell he's on his knees choking, coughs zapping through the wire of his form. "You're pretty fucking sick, huh?" asks, Kyo smirking like this somehow makes him superior.

"I am…I am not…" he tells him, redness running from his mouth into his hands. He's lying, diseased for sure since every day he falls headfirst into the Death's misshapen hands. He's Akito and the cold was bound to turn to pneumonia at some point, might at well be now when he's trying to show off his inner deity. Maybe he's wrong but he feels awful anyway, it's all he can do to lift his head. "I'm f-fine…"

"Bull," says Kyo, eyes narrowed at the kid on the floor. "You shouldn't be out here dumb-ass, Hatori's gonna fucking kill you. Just go home."

Akito tries, he really tries because all he wants is to be gone from this guy, safe in bed next to Honeybee. He staggers up, stares dizzily into Kyo-kun's eyes and falls, Aki's on the floor again, still spilling blood from his devastated lungs. It looks black in the dark and Aki's horrified, he can't believe he's got this thing again.

He can't get up so he saves his pride, says Kyo can't be trusted and he's just keeping watch. Kyo-kun doesn't buy it for a minute, especially since Akito's knocked out and sleeping before that time is even up. Every so often he bolts up, spits more blood on the grass but while he's lying there helpless, face all knotted up in pain, Kyo-kun starts to see what Tohru maybe means. There's this incredible urge to protect, to heal with his own hands. It might be just the Sohma tie, but past the hate and past the envy, all Kyo wants is to take away the pain.

There's nothing for it, Aki's pawing at the air and moaning, "Tohru-kun…" Kyo can't provide her, wouldn't if he knew quite how. It'd be too hard to watch her walk off with him, blame Kyo for his condition and snap at him again. For Tohru to snap she's got to be just furious, and it takes a lot to get her there, hurts like hell when you've pushed that far. But he's this close to letting her go, this close to giving up if it'll just make everybody happy.

His arms through the bars, he reaches out for Aki's bloodstained hand. It's just the smallest thing he's ever seen, all the weak little bones and veins so exposed, and as much as he wants to he can't bring himself to crush it. Instead he holds it limply, and he says to him, "just pretend I'm Tohru. The real one should come looking for you soon."

Moments like these never last long, soon Kyo's in dreamland, his left hand hanging limply over Akito's. By morning there's this flurry made of Hatori, the man in a panic and Aki in his arms. He pulls a moment out of nowhere just for Kyo-kun, uses it to rant at him like Aki's health is all his fault. Kyo didn't tell him to wander out in the freezing night, Kyo didn't lead a viral expedition down into his lungs. But Hari's stressed and doesn't care, he's not about to scream at Akito.

In the end he's back in bed, a powerhouse of pills being popped down his throat, doxycycline and some other special fun stuff. He's pissy and he's petulant, he's not quite sick enough to stay passed out. Hari's not pleased but the work is worth it, Tohru's just so thrilled to have her Aki back. While Hatori wishes she'd stop clinging to her lover's arm so he could stab it with an IV needle, it's nice to see that the lady really cares.

She looks so in love, so worried, that Hari has to wonder how she ever screwed around. Maybe the life inside her does belong to Akito, maybe it's the first healthy God-child the Sohmas have ever had. Logistics aside it's a nice idea, it makes him think that their debt is not so great, that their king is finally finding happiness.

Nana: Let's hear it for the unbelievably sunny ending! Whoo! Don't worry kids, it's not going to stay happy for long. Oh no. Life is going to start sucking something special real soon for the Kyokitohru triangle.

So how did you like the vague Akito/Kyo coupling? It would have taken a great leap of character and plot line to develop it further, but we've got a ways to go, don't worry. Much, much more suffering shall be heaped on their poor little heads…and maybe some happy stuff too, who knows?

Make sure you review me, and keep checking back for Chapter Ten!


	10. Poor Baby

A/N: Argh. I'm sorry this took longer than it should have. I got sick over the weekend, and thus spent most of my time either sleeping or playing the Sims 2. And working. I don't know what possessed me to go to work. Oh well anyway, Chapter Ten's all finished now.

Let's see now. This one's a little longer than usual, since it gives everyone their face time, including Hatori. Something that slightly violates the original coupling set-up occurs here, though there's nothing romantic or loving about it at all. As a fan of the couple that could be, this chapter makes me sad, but it has to be.

So I guess I'll give you a quick breakdown. This chapter contains the following couples, be they vague and unexpressed, or full-blown and obvious: Akito/Tohru, Akito/Kyo, Akito/Hatori (best couple ever), Kyo/Tohru, Hatori/female OC. Yes, I introduced an OC goddamn it. And if you tell me she's a Mary Sue you'll find yourself without your limbs, cos I know she isn't. I just couldn't legitimately use a canon character without explaining a lot of things that aren't really relevant to the story. Those of you who are this far along know you like the story, so just trust me, 'kay?

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Everybody Wants Her

Chapter Ten – Poor Baby

One eye snaps open, scorns the sun that's pouring in. Kyo-kun stumbles upwards, arches his back against the constant crick that comes from sleeping on a concrete floor. He could have sworn he heard something, a twittery giggle that he can't quite place. Then out pops cousin Kagura, dressed up special in a teal blue skirt. Her hair's done up and she's got earrings, her coat's white and fuzzy, shining new. "Hi Kyo-kun!" she says brightly, smiling through cherry-glossed lips. "I only just heard about your lock up…oh it's horrible! I wish stupid Akito and stupid everybody else would tell me what's going on. If I'd _known _you know I'd have come right away, don't you Kyo-kun? Oh I feel so bad though, it's been six whole _months_…"

"It's fine," he tells her, just glad to see someone relatively harmless. Kagura's fury is fierce but she's balanced enough, her intentions are not cruel or desperate. And anyway, there's something about near constant solitude that'll make a visit from anyone seem special. "How'd you find out, Yuki tell you?"

"No," she says, tucking wisps back into her brassy hair clip. "I haven't really been hearing much from Yun-chan…Shigure told me when I showed up at the house."

The bit of info bothers Kyo-kun, he can't believe she's stayed away so long. Kagura's always had a way of barging in, claiming her place where nobody quite wants her. She doesn't explain and Kyo doesn't ask, but pretty soon she's babbling on about her college courses, how hard she has to fight for her free time. This suffices and Kyo doesn't pry, he doesn't want to know the news of a world he'll never live in. "Has Shihan…Kazuma…Shishou…what do you call him now? Has he come to see you yet? I bet he's really pitching a fit about what's happened, huh?"

"No," says Kyo, sitting down with a reckless plop, wishing she'd hush up so he wouldn't feel quite so horribly abandoned. "No he hasn't, he's not."

_"What!" _gasps Kagura, black-mittened hand to her fluffy white chest. "That's ridiculous I mean, there's got to be some _reason _or else…well I'm going to kill him, that's what's _or else." _She sighs, squats on the grass and smiles at Kyo. "Maybe he just hasn't found out yet. I mean I didn't know until just now. Maybe he's busy."

"I'm sure," he says, nowhere close to sure at all. She's got him down and he doesn't want to see her, Kagura's an emblem of all that he's denied. All he can take right now is someone beaten, broken to bits by the curse. For just a minute he wants Kagura locked up in here, shut away and forgotten about, denied the sight of everyone she loves. At the same time he absolutely doesn't want her leaving him, she's the first face that isn't Akito the kitty's seen in weeks.

Akito…

"Kagura?" Kyo asks her, sitting with his head tipped up and his spine too straight, he's got a knot in his throat he's pushing past. "If something in your life sucks monumental ass, does it make sense to want to drag everybody else down with you? Like if you're, I dunno, lets say you have some impossible paper to do, would you like it better if your best friend had to do the same?"

"Oh yeah," she says. "Totally human nature. It's a lot harder to complain if no one gets it, right? What do you mean Kyo-kun, you want to have someone in the cage with you or something? Because I'd so go in there if I could." The mittens come off and she's kneading his hands, crooning on over just how much she loves him. "Oh Kyo-kun I feel so _bad!" _

"It's…you don't need to feel guilty Kagura, don't be stupid. It's not really about me I guess, it's just I think I'm starting to understand somebody, that's all. Right now it's like, if you leave my life is fucking over. I'm so…lonely, he…he's lonely too."

"Who's _he?" _she asks, her delivery too snappish for the message that she means. "I can only think of like…three he's you have anything to do with. Do you mean Yun-chan? I mean he's always seemed like the lonely type to me, but I didn't think you _cared _or anything…"

"Not Yuki, I don't care how the hell he's doing." Kyo rips at the floor, shoots Meow Mix in Kagura's direction. How to explain without sounding insane, god Ka-chan could never forgive this. But she's getting impatient, the look on Kyo's face lets her know this can't be overlooked. "God, Kagura. I'm talking about God."

"You mean Akito?" she says, soft and hushed and just so Sohma, no one else would leap to that conclusion first. "Who _cares _Kyo-kun, he's the one who locked you up! Don't go feeling sorry for that S.O.B."

"Kagura don't you get it?" Kyo-kun says, beyond ecstatic at his newfound revelation. "Right now I feel just like he must everyday. There are differences, I mean nobody will listen to me and it's not like I'm really sick. But both of us are miserable, we've always known Akito is. And I'm willing to bet that all the other family heads felt just the same. The cat thing, it can't be because they're dangerous. They're not, I _know _I'm not it's just…somebody has to suffer with God. It's _always _been the cat and that…that's why. That's why I'm spending the rest of my life knee-deep in my own fucking filth."

And Kagura, she's grave and she nods but she can't say anything, she can't connect and she's dead to the implications. It kills her to be cut off from her Kyo-kun, she holds his hand tighter since she's scared he'll slip away. "Do you think," he asks, "do you think if he were happier he'd let me go?"

"You can't make Akito happy," Ka-chan laughs, smiles wider then her little lips allow. "No one can Kyo-kun, you can't even put a dent in what the curse has done to him. Besides it's _tradition, _do you really think a five-minute good mood would make him break that?"

The kitty cat scowls, tears his arms away in vague irritation. "I'm not saying _me," _he tells her. "But I can get him help, I know exactly what to do. Kagura I need you to bring him here, Tohru-kun too okay?"

"Why?" she asks, ready to go but she wants to know, she's got a claim on her Kyo that she's not giving up. Tohru's name gets her all protective, all _mine mine mine_ about her darling. "What are you going to do?"

Kyo-kun strikes a stupid pose, gazes at the sky on his knees with his hands clasped tight. He says, "I'm going to give God my blessing," and bids Kagura goodbye.

"This is _shit!" _Akito screams, slamming the ceramic bowl against the wall. Soup spills everywhere and Aki's got his arms crossed and his teeth ground down, Tohru's sitting wide-eyed at the side of the bed. "How dare you serve me this piss, it's fucking poison and I won't tolerate it Tohru!"

"A-akito…" she stammers, reaches quick for his hand and she's tossed away, hit hard and she just leaps away, arms straight to the little one inside. She knows she ought to move in closer, hold him until life's alright again but he'll…he'll…hell, what the hell can he do? She's made the soup because he can't be bothered with solid food, he's sick and he can't beat her, can't do anything but yell. "I'm sorry," she tells him, grinning hard since she's feeling safe. "I'll just clean that up."

"No you won't you little bitch, you're six months fucking pregnant and you're not doing any _work!" _Tohru smiles, doesn't point out that making the soup he so despises took work too, she just says she's glad he cares but she can't just leave the mess.  
"How are you feeling today?" she asks him, and Akito just about spits in her face. What's she expecting, your standard fine just fine I'm great? To tell her off he starts to cough, harder than need be. It's straight in her face, Tohru's smiling through revulsion, her grin's feeling a little stuck-on now, a little plastered. "Akito," she asks, "are you taking that cough syrup Hari gave you? Because you might be having a little less trouble if you were…"

"That crap stopped working last week," he snaps, every word punctuated by yet another cough. Tohru sighs, baffled by his bratty behavior. Since that night she'd sat up terrified, loveless until Hari thrust him in her arms, Akito has been on this awful middle ground, too sick to stay up but restless all the same, kicking and screaming and having what could be called tantrums if he weren't twenty years old. He's taken every opportunity to let the Sohma know that he feels miserable, Tohru's been at his beck and call for months. She can't even pee without hearing him howl.

And the doctor's more than glad to delegate his job to her, let her take on everything not strictly medical. For the first time in years Hari's got thoughts that aren't of Akito, he can walk down the street completely free. He's actually got himself a casual date, a busty brunette named Sakurako. She's no Kana and she'll never last, but she's a distraction, a way to stave off the guilt he gets for not being there.

Tohru, of course, doesn't complain. Just because she's six months pregnant, her legs cramping up every time she even walks, doesn't mean that she's not just as good a wifely slave girl as usual. Akito's just thrown up all over her, the stench is horrific but she just smiles, sets about getting herself cleaned up. She considers this as an apprenticeship, her practice for the life to come. Her lover looks sleepy, he's drifting off and done with screaming, that's good because Tohru could really use some time alone, a couch and a brownie and her eyes closed tight.

It's not like she gets much rest, but one day she's squirreled away and hour or two alone. Akito's shut up in Hari's office, supposedly discussing the banalities of his condition. The man's gonna take him off Sertraline, it's not working well enough for Akito to tolerate the side effects. They started off on the meds track but of course they're raging over Sakurako now, Akito demanding he get rid of her and quick. Tohru's tuning out their tones, wrapping a dream around Akito's angry shrieking. She lets herself stay blind to it, pretend her Prince of Bitching is sweet and decent.

But anyway Tohru-kun, she's splayed out in bed with her eyes shut, trying to get comfortable under the weight of her rock-hard gut. Gravity's shoving her down and she tosses around, gives up and sits up and stares at the wall. It needs a good wash but she's exhausted, too drained to deal with household chores. Her eyes slip shut and her thoughts run wild, briefly touching on a gentle fury towards her Akito. The notion's rejected just as soon as it hits consciousness, he's sick and God and can't be blamed for being such a brat. But she's totally spent and she's pregnant, if she'd stuck with Kyo she wouldn't have to deal with this.

Oh hell, she'd just be cleaning house at Shigure's if not for Akito. These men, these Sohma's have no regard for the life inside her, they don't understand that she needs her sleep as bad as Akito. Not that she's complaining, not that Tohru won't do anything for anyone who asks. She stretches out and twists around, tells the kid it'll never have to clean a thing. Tohru drifts off, breathing deep in her sleep until she's jolted up, something's beating up her abdomen and it's her _baby! _It's _kicking, _the little one's mad on its mommy's behalf!

The kid keeps kicking and the first thing Tohru wants to do is run for Akito, have him crack a smile at his kid's development. She's not nimble enough though, she's weighed down and waddly and slow. And Tohru's not the type to disregard repeated warnings, she knows full well you don't walk in on Akito when he's with another Sohma. But it's hard to care with the baby banging on her belly, if he just feels the kid they'll be a family, Akito the father for real. She stumbles in, smiles wide and waves hello.

She doesn't walk in on anything pretty. Aki's got puke trailing down his mouth, fouling up one of the yukatas Tohru washed last night. His eyes are drills in Tohru-kun, his head's held high and Hari looks shaken, slightly bruised. "What are _you _doing here?" Akito asks, wiping his mouth and stepping disdainfully away from the mess. His voice catches on scratches and Tohru wants to get the man some water, take care of her Aki-baby.

But Tohru doesn't want to know what's happening, doesn't want to involve herself at all. To her this visit's just about her baby, the little embryonic beast that's beating her. Akito's just got to feel this. "Guess what?" she says, staring past Hatori into trembling Aki's eyes. "She…it…the baby. It's kicking. Do you want to feel?"

"I'd very much like to _stop _feeling at the moment," Akito mumbles mechanically, taking in little of what she's said. "Hari I need pills, I'm really nauseated. And stop looking so fucking shocked, I barely touched you!"

Hari tries to make his face go blank again, tries to stop the tremors of his jaw. But he hardly believes what's just happened, he's praying Aki has the sense not to say a word in front of Tohru. "It…it's alright Akito. I…I'll go see if I can find you something…"

"Thank you," he says, waving him off and wavering, sitting down fast at Tohru's feet. She bends down to be with him, pets his head and asks again if he'd like to feel the baby. "It's not as strong as it was but you should still be able to hear her. Him. It. I should probably ask Hatori-san what he got off the sonogram, huh?"

"That might be a good idea," grunts Akito, trying not to let the child matter now. He's in a cynical mood, pissed off and he's quite sure her baby shares no blood of his. The chance is as thin as a limb of his, as throttled as his Yuki's lily neck. But it's there and he wants it bad, wants Tohru tiny in his arms again. He'll listen for the little one, make Tohru-kun feel good because he needs her absolutely.

He lays his head down, waits while Tohru feels for motion with her hands. That sets Akito seething, he wants those hands on him alone. Soon there's a kick, a wicked banging, and Akito jerks back, heart throbbing to the same tune times a thousand. The sound slinks its way inside his skull, sets off a headache and he scowls hard at Tohru-kun. "Way to say hello you little brat, this is probably gonna knock me out all day."

Tohru laughs, says she thinks the little one can hear him. "Hear that baby?" she gabbles to her gut, "you be gentle with your daddykins next time, and he won't be such a meanie-poo."

"Daddy…kins?" asks Akito, smirking in confusion. _"Meanie-poo? _My god Tohru, I didn't know you were so _sappy. _The kid can't even _hear _you and already you sound ridiculous."

"Oh I'm sure the baby can hear us," Tohru says, face stony with conviction. "Maybe she can't understand every word, but she can certainly pick up tones by this point. Which means you maybe shouldn't yell so much when you're around her…"

And he's about to start screaming, prove her wrong but the breath just sets him coughing, hacking spit into his hands. It lasts for ages, bends him forward in pain and soon he's sitting helpless on the floor. "Oh fuck…" he whispers, little tears spilling and he just wants things to go better, to have this baby thing untainted by the world. But he's sick and so sure of betrayal, so scared to just confront the girl. He'd rather deal with the date of his death, the definite method than this.

He looks at her, tips his head and says that god he's really sorry. "I'm really happy about the baby…" he tells her, the lie so absolutely obvious that it gets his point across stronger then the truth. He's not happy and his honeybee knows it, Aki can't stand the thought of it coming out Kyo's. And even if it _is _his, he'd make a lousy father, a monster of a dad. He doesn't want to be the one to ruin Tohru's baby, make yet another life a living hell.

Not believing him a bit, Tohru tells him that that's good. "I'm happy too," she says. "There's nothing I want more than this…more than you…" And she pulls him in, curves his spine over the expanse of her front. Kissing him's the right thing, the reassuring thing because she knows he feels unloved. And right before it hits her she's about to, but the man's just been sick all over himself, she doesn't want to merge mouths with him right now.

But it's obvious to Akito what she's skipping out on. He doesn't realize why, just stores it away as another sign she loathes him. Tears fly down his face and Tohru tries to make it better, tries and fails forever until Hatori steps back in with Kagura.

Aki's pissed to have him back, their fight's still fresh in his head and he'd like to forget, block it out and keep on angsting over Tohru-kun. One would think that the rough paw down his pants would be enough to keep him gone forever, but Hari's too bound by his doctorly duty, he's leaning in the doorway now with pills in his hands.

Ka-chan smiles wide at little Tohru, bows stiffly for her irritating lord. "Hi guys!" she says, waving as she stares up at shaking Hatori. "What's up with him? He hasn't said one word to me since we met in the hall. Anyway whatever. Tohru-kun, Akito-sama, Kyo-kun says he wants to see you. I mean uh, so long as it's okay by Akito."

"Actually it's not," he snaps, bolting up and clutching vaguely at his hipbones. "Neither of us has any reason to see him, do we Tohru-kun?"

"Well he's sent for _you, _obviously there's something that he'd like for you to know," snorts Kagura, pissed beyond reason, her fingers form fists and Hari holds her down, unthinking. Everything in his calls for Akito's protection, he's a doctor, a Sohma and a goddamn savior, it doesn't matter that he can't even look at Aki now. "Look just come alright? Kyo's been locked up there all alone for half a year and nobody's even going to see him. You'd think that Tohru-kun of all people would care."

"I care!" she squeaks, her outburst thought out only in the moment. Aki's in her arms but she doesn't see him, doesn't care that this could cause him pain. "Kagura-chan, I _have _been seeing him, do you think I'd just let my Kyo-kun rot in jail alone?"

Akito shoves straight away from Tohru-kun, she's staring at him sweetly shocked. His molars grind each other down to dust, his hands shake and they reach for her wrists.

He twists.

_"What do you mean you've been going to see him!" _Aki explodes, nails digging in and ripping skin. Red blood billows and he barely cares, all he wants is gentle denial, a sweet little smile but no, Tohru-kun looks horrified. "It's just to _visit, _right? Just to _talk? _You haven't been _fucking _him have you, you haven't been sucking his _dick? _Let me guess, it looks _normal _right?"

"Hey don't say _that!" _Ka-chan objects, tries to throw herself between them. Aki whips around, throws a punch that she ducks and he's down, tripped up on his own bad aim. He struggles upward, limbs pressing down on the hardwood floor. "Oh god I'm sorry," Kagura says, holding out an arm for him to balance on. Akito hisses, convulses with coughing as he swats her gone.

"Tohru," he says, voice needling on her, needy. He claws his way up and she's down with him, looking so pained at his beautiful face. Hands lock and he's not hurting her, his hands are fragile, falling now, and it's Tohru-kun that keeps it all together, keeps Aki conscious as he fails to be a brute. "Tohru-kun please…" _Oh just look at you there on the floor… _"Tell me you…" _Poor baby, poor little sick one here in my arms… _"Tell me you never…" _If only I knew how to save you… _"Tell me you never slept with him!" _Oh darling don't cry… _

"Don't cry," she says, and he's just bawling now, beating feeble fists on the floor. He's whining over bruises, face gone all scarlet and soaked. "Please Aki don't…"

"You're not telling me _no!" _he says, frail voice falling over hitches in his throat. "Lie to me please Tohru-kun…please I can't take it, I can't, please please please don't leave me I don't want to be alone my honeybee…"

"Does she look like she's leaving?" Ka-chan asks, and she's screamed straight out of there, tossed aside by God because he just can't deal with her. Hatori slips out too, hangs by the doorway, instinctively checking out what's physical. It's best not to think now, not to dwell on before because he'll ruin this, just break Akito to bits with accusations. He won't speak and Tohru can't, the two of them just let Aki cry himself exhausted.

Akito lets out a low little moan, curls up fetal on the floor. "I hate this," he says, tone all flattened out and corpsey now. "I hate this…being alive…thing. Nobody's making it worth it, my head hurts and my stomach hurts and my _hair _hurts and I just want it to _stop…" _

"I'll make it stop," says Tohru-kun, threading hands through the filthy strings flying loose from Aki's head. He needs a bath badly and she'd do anything to give him one, to prove for sure that he's adored. She knows that Hari does it all the time, passionless and inattentive, yawning as he scrubs her Aki's naked back. She can't believe such care would prove him worthless, can't believe it's all that she can do.

If she wants him warm and safe and happy, that must mean she loves him. She cannot doubt that now, not with this poor baby melting in her arms. He's draining into her, forgetting he's anything but Tohru's baggage. "Make it stop…" he mumbles, agreeing with the whisper of life left inside him. "Do something…magic…"

"I will," she swears, signing her life away with those words. Tohru's merely mortal, she's just a little girl. But she spills promises from her chapsticked lips, meaning nothing. It's okay. It's okay because he's shutting his eyes now. "Hatori I…is he alright?" she asks, searches for reassurance in the deadness of Hari's stare.

"He'll be fine, he's just tired himself out…he's been doing a lot of yelling today. If you want to take him to his room that'd be great." The man's standing rigid, fists tight and his eyes to the sky. The rage is right there, the fury near staggering but no one does anything, no one asks Hatori just what's wrong. "I…I've got to go. I've got to speak with Sakurako…Akito's ordered it."

"Wait a minute," Tohru says, lifting the limp god to his feet. "I don't know what to do by myself, does he need medication?"

There are at least five pills that Aki needs shoved down his throat, an injection or three to keep him living. But Hari, he just tells her no.

He's out of the Sohma jailhouse, slinking down the street with his hands in his coat, counting his steps to keep from thinking. But numbers can't trump Akito, he's stuck on the worst part in seconds, on Akito's clammy hands wrenching him back and forth, stroking and poking and making him sick. He's looking at the rational, praying for chemical disturbances to explain this one away. And maybe that's it, malice followed by such patheticas can't be sane.

But the malice, the evil weeping look on his too-thin face…where had that _come _from? Sure their lord is prone to rage, but he hadn't lashed out like that since Hari's life dropped to the floor from his face, since she-who-could-make-him-feel was stolen from him. _"You forgive me, right?" _he'd demanded, scaling shaking hands over Hari's hardened form. _"Do you really want to me to die knowing I was hated? That none of my sacrifices were _worth _it Hatori? That's what you're saying when you fuck this Sakurako slut, you're telling me that what I've done for you means _nothing. _Don't you learn? You'd better not love her, I wouldn't want to have to break your heart again."_

Hatori had been compliant, good to his god as his heart sped hysterical, his air came in nearly as erratic as this cruel little man's. In his mind Aki doubles over coughing, sick on his own speech and Hari tries to stay with that. It's soothing just to see the muscle spasms, the spitting up of phlegm and blood, god it's _medical_. Sickness is the safest thing he knows. What comes next, what he says…it hurts. _"You can't possibly be planning to stay with her," _he'd said, tipping his heart-shaped heated face to the side. _"She doesn't actually _mean _anything to you, does she?" _

Wind whips hair into his visible eye, Hari does nothing because it's so hard to make the path ahead important. He'd _told _Akito that the girl meant nothing, he must have meant it because you just can't lie to God. Sakurako was a sweet one, a lovely lusty lady whose basic needs were just impossible. He brushes her begging aside, never takes her in his arms and it's just too much, Hari doesn't want this, it's hard work and she's Kana, he won't go through that awful ache again.

_"You can't tell me you're going to choose a woman over God. I won't allow it, you know. It's disgusting Hatori, it's _sick. I'm_ sick, I'm nearly dead and you're out fucking some whore with huge tits! Does she _know_ about the curse Hatori, do you think she could possibly love you if she did?" _Kana had, lovely Kana distant in his mind now, she's a symbol. God has reduced her to meaning alone, a memory. _"What does she do for you anyway?" _he'd asked, coughs spiking holes in his every word._ "Does she jerk you off Hari, does she make you feel good in your pants?" _And then he…that's when he…

His hands, his filthy little paws ripping down the zipper, tearing through the slit in the boxers to pull him out, pump him up and it just kills him to know that it was rising. Yes, Sakurako's touched him there, put her crimson lips around the width of it. But Akito, _Akito _whose birth he'd attended, Akito who's bedside he'd sat at nearly every night since then…Akito Akito _Akito who ripped Kana straight out of his world. _Akito squeezed his penis blood-red and painful, thrust it straight into the cesspool of his mouth. He kept it up only a moment before nausea sent him to his knees, he was retching on the floor and saying Hari's awful cock had made him ill.

"_You'll have to leave her," _he'd insisted, spent and weak from the spasms spinning through him._"I _need _you Hatori, you're _mine. _You can't leave me for her, look you have a boner, you may hate me but your _body _doesn't. I'll destroy her if you leave me, you know I've done it before."_

And Hari'd said, _"I don't care about her."_ He'd told him he had Tohru-kun, he had all the love he could ever want in the trapped-and-weighed-down girl. _"I don't care about her. She's not Kana, she's nothing, she's no one, you have Tohru…"_

Sakurako can't matter, he's got to ditch her, just move on. It's been a fling, it's been casual, just comfort for lack of a worthwhile life. Her fake-wavy hair, narrow brown eyes and tight dresses, there's no beauty in that body, none. Sakurako's deep-belly laugh, her carnal carnivorous loving little self—nothing. Because Akito said so, he's God and that's enough, he'll leave her.

Hari's hand raps her door, and Sakurako sweeps him in, all reds and browns and earthy sweetness, god her smile nearly buckles his knees. "Hi Hari," she says, pulls him into a kiss but he keeps his distance, doesn't let her breasts beat soft and close to him. When they come up for air she says she's missed him, nuzzles her big sharp chin against his cheek. She asks how he is and plays with his hair, just kisses him and kisses him as she leads them to the brown-leather couch.

"I'm sorry for just barging in like this," says Hatori, fingers crossed and he can't look at her, can't look anywhere but at the paisley rug beneath him. "I should have called."

"Oh it's alright Hatori, I was just going to go to the library, but that can wait. Now that you're here I doubt I'll want to read tonight, know what I mean?" She moves in close, tries for a hug but he scootches over, she's not Kana and she can't be trusted, Hari's got to end this now. But those eyes, those dark-chocolate eyes pouring love into his lap…no. This isn't God-approved and he can't, _he doesn't love her, damn it! _

She's gone on a tangent, Sakurako's spilling shit about her sister, needy Natsu and she hates her, Hari can't bear to make a break when he identifies. They talk awhile, share their horror stories, and when he can't get Akito's voice out of his head he makes it stop. "Nishikawa-san," he says, formal and her face goes frozen, he'd called her Sa-chan up 'til now. "I…we can't doing this. It's not working anymore."

"What's not working?" Sa-chan asks, scooping one booted leg over the other. "I don't understand."

It's obvious she does and he can't stand her, can't believe she won't just let this go. Couldn't this be simple, easy with no explanation? He can't tell her, can't explain the curse's obligation, why he can't take her in his arms and just hold on. Sa-chan would never understand why he's got to obey his baby cousin. "Our relationship. I'm sorry Nishikawa-san, but I don't feel anything for you and you're too…_needy." _

_"Needy?" _she asks, shocked because she's never even called him, never asked for a thing but a kiss and a conversation. "How am I _needy?" _

"Well you're always wanting to _cuddle, _and I'm just not comfortable with that. So, it isn't working out." And he shrugs, stands up while she's baffled, strides off and doesn't say a word. His eyes burn as he hears her bawling but he just walks out, heads straight home to the neediest creature this world has ever known.

Akito. He's torn down the walls of Hari's life, wrecked everything but he's the world now, isn't he? Hari can go home and hold the world in his hands.

"They won't come to see you," Kagura says, standing tip-toe by the cage to reach her Kyo-kun, he's climbed up the bars on a few bags of kitty litter, trying to find some overlooked means of escape. He hops down, glares hard at her with narrowed eyes.

"What?" he snaps, quick to rage and blaming Kagura, the little piggy messenger smiling grimly through the bars. "Why _not? _I was going to do something _nice _for him, I was going to make him _happy. _Is he sick or something? Couldn't you at least bring Tohru?"

"I don't know if he's sick, but Akito said there wasn't any reason to come. You should have told me what you wanted them for, I might have done a better job of convincing them…what's going on anyway?" She stokes his face and stares at him, it's human touch and he will not turn away. Anything's better than the sunken pain of being alone.

He shrugs, not sure what to say because he knows he can't just tell her. Ka-chan loves him and that's always been clear, he can't angst over Tohru and hurt the girl. He's giving her up but he's mad for her, if Kagura knew then it'd just kill her. "It's nothing," he says, purring to the feel of her fingers, the kitty just can't help himself. "It's just there's been some tension between the two of us, I wasn't exactly thrilled about being locked up…I wanted to settle it, that's all."

"Ah," says Kagura, smirking smugly because she thinks he means a beat-down, that Kyo's gonna give their God what he deserves. She's pleased with this plan and Tohru's forgotten, she promises to bring him in when she can. "He's pretty pathetic you know. Can't even throw a punch anymore. You could take him no problem, Kyo."

He probably could, but all he wants is just to make him happy.

Nana: My my. That was quite the lengthy chapter. I hope it was worth the eyestrain. We're at page 72 now, which is just ridiculous for a fanfic…but what can you do, it's not done yet and it won't be for a while now. Here's hoping you see what I mean about Sakurako, a canon character is just too complicated for the purpose of the scene.

Anyway yeah, the baby's coming most likely in Chapter Eleven, so make sure you come back and check that out. Thanks for reading and have a great day, leave a review for _Poor Baby _on your way out!


	11. Weaker Than You

A/N: And here we are at Chapter Eleven. Once again it's a little late, due to the fact that I seem to have a life of sorts. I've been really busy, and like the evil little moose I am, I've been writing something else. (If you'll look in my profile, you'll see what it is.) Anyway, I'm sorry I haven't been spitting out weekly chapters like I used to, but at least it's not taking months and months and months the way it does with some authors.

So about the upcoming chapter…I don't supppose it is, but if this is still a mystery to anyone, you'll find out who the daddy is! Whoohoo yeah, read it or be drawn on with magic marker!

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Everybody Wants Her

Chapter Eleven – Weaker Than You

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Aki spends the day in shopping malls, weaving fevered through the shelves and bright displays. He's got a head on fire, a fist of sickness in his stomach and his lungs, but he's out here anyway, trying to prove himself. Tohru's this close to delivery, she's stopped her schooling and she won't go anywhere, it's Aki's job to get things set up for the baby.

It's self-imposed really. He could easily ask Hatori, send every single Sohma out for a crib and a highchair, basic baby things that he's too weak to wheel home on his own. Just dragging himself off the property is hard enough, pneumonia's wasted him and he was up all night with his head in his hands, screaming and sick with another migraine. Aki's tired but he'll live, Tohru's got to know he wants this.

Things look hazy as he huddles by the wall, the world's filled up with busy legs, big-bellied woman fantasizing about the little living lives that they're providing for. He can't know their stories but still he tries to find a Tohru in the bunch, a naïve little girl just wrecked and wrecking everything.

People-watching gets old and he struggles up, steadies himself on the shelves beside him. The worlds waving around and he's dizzy, not having any fun. When his sight spins past darkness Aki stumbles over to the nearest employee, says hey how're you doing and coughs in her face. "Can I help you?" she asks, wincing a bit but he's a customer, not God now but she's got to respect him.

Aki nods, threads fingers vaguely through his hair and tells her what he's looking for. The words come slow and he finds himself nervous, chewing nails because she's not a Sohma, how can he relate to this short-haired girl in the real world? It takes him a while to spit his order out, remember all the little baby things his Tohru needs. He's forbidden a shower since he can't stand the noise, he'll cry through the ever-present ecstasy. It kills his head and breaks his heart, he knows he'll never be that happy. But if Akito can't take it then he's got to provide, he's sacrificing weeks of painkillers here.

And he's really facing down this threat, he just can't know if Hatori will let him scream and thrash nonstop, let him break his soiled brain with chainsaw agony. He'll give up his good days though, screw himself out of sacred pills for Tohru-kun.

The saleslady slaps her hands on her jean-clad hips, done taking down his palsied order. "So you're gonna want a car seat, a crib, a highchair, clothes, diapers, toys…" The list is endless and he just tunes out, nods to all her propositions. He should have taken Tohru, dragged the laden girl out to choose things for herself. He's overwhelmed, senses swimming with the sound of the saleslady's words.

This is just a little six-pounder they're talking about, maybe seven at best since it's a Sohma. And yet it isn't little, this baby's gonna change the world and Akito can't take it, he doesn't even know the gender, so how can he buy a thing?

He whips around, finds a bench and coughs for ages in his hands. Blood stains and stings his cracked chapped lips, he's breathless as he pulls his cellphone out. When the air starts coming he strokes the casing, wonders if he ought to call her here. He'd give anything, _anything _to have his sweet swollen Tohru right beside him, fixing the world and making decisions, just being herself and his everything. But she's sleeping, prepping herself and it's too much to ask that she be here. She'll be in labor any day now, his shopping spree is really quite last minute.

No. He won't use the lifeline, Akito will pull through this all alone. He sits there praying away a migraine, scrawling out a list of what they're really gonna need. Tohru calls the child 'she', corrects herself each time because she doesn't know, she won't take those results from Hari's hands. She might just want to be her mother, repeat the corpse's life because it's just so special, so much more exciting then little Tohru's own, but maybe her body knows, maybe Akito ought to trust in that and buy her pink. Or maybe yellow's best, green or something gender-neutral. Gray would go great with the coloring he hopes for, but do these aesthetics mean a thing to Tohru-kun? Maybe it's best to just go with what's the cheapest…

Screw it, he's sick and not about to stay here. Aki goes with pink and gray, orders up a mess of girl supplies and they can just raise him effeminate if he comes out wrong. At least this shows his Tohru that she's trusted. He signs up for a diaper service, sets everything he's bought to be delivered. Akito can head home unencumbered, weighed down by his heavy layered clothes alone. It's cold out, late April but an awful day, Aki hasn't got a lot fat to hold the heat in.

He pays the bill and scrambles out, walks slow as the dead to the bus stop. There's this little old lady, a crusty-eyed hag with gnarled hands and wrinkles spilling down her massive head. She must be ninety at least but she gets there before Akito, she takes the seat he wants when they board the bus. "Excuse me," he snarls, foot tapping close to her tote bag. "But that was my _seat." _

"Wha…?" she gapes, eyes narrowed and she doesn't get it, like how can anybody oust her when she's so advanced in age? "I don't see your name on it young man."

"I was _just about to sit down," _says Akito, straight in her face and he's all set to scream her out, throw a punch because he craves exhaustion, utter collapse in Tohru's arms. So this woman's old, so what, she took his seat and he's goddamn God goddamn it! _"Move!" _he shouts, ripping her bag from the ground and tossing it limply. The lady's pissed and just confused, she isn't moving. "Look," he says, "I'm _sick. _I've had cancer five times and I'm just getting over pneumonia, my entire body is _killing_ me. _Let me sit down." _

"I'm ninety-six years old!" she squeaks, eyes popping open with absolute indignance. Nothing tops her crazy age, the few gawkers on the bus are on her side, screeching Akito away from her because he can't have a point, he's _young. _

Akito hacks blood up right in front of her, holds the pole with a faded look in his rain-and-tombstone eyes. "I'm weaker than you…" he whispers, legs shaking and he needs to prove this, feel proud of his only accomplishment. The baby feels like nothing in his hazy brain. If he has to be sick he may as well be the sickest, if he's got to be an invalid he's got to be the best. This lady's only ancient, she's not nothing on the blood in Aki's ruined lungs. "So much more _diseased…" _

"No you're not," she snaps, competitive because this is probably all she's got now too. Grandkids lose interest, children patience and parents are generally dead for the geriatric. She's likely swimming with disorders, just as sick as Aki but it goes with the territory, Akito hasn't any sympathy for her issues. When she doesn't explain he grabs her wrists, hisses with his nails digging in.

"Either tell me one way you're worse off than me," he says, breathing heavy through his mouth and snarling at her. "Or get the fuck out of my seat."

"Well let's see_," _she says, grinning like she's won the freakin' world. "I have diabetes and osteoarthritis, I'm going blind and I'm incontinent. Is that good enough for you?"

And Aki laughs, too hard for his heart and he's hacking blood, grinning malicious at her wrinkled peanut of a face. "I have osteoarthritis too, and I can be incontinent. Like I said, I've had leukemia five times. I have pneumonia, I'm anemic, I get migraines all the time. I have _no idea _what it's like to feel healthy, and I'm willing to bet that you do. So give me your seat you old hag, unless you want me passing out on top of you."

Someone shrieks at him to back off, leave the lady alone but he just spins around, spills vomit on their shoes and he's smiling. "I'm sick," he sings, "I'm sicker than _you…" _He lets go of the pole, staggers giddy as the bus stops, he's close to home and he'll head out now, wave the shriveled bitch goodbye.

"Everyone I know is _dead!" _she says, triumphant but she's paid no mind. Akito just laughs out loud as his head starts to pound, it gets worse and worse and he's screaming. It's perfect, just fine because it proves his point, the lady's gone but Aki can't get home, he's sure as hell the sickest one of all.

-----

He makes the blocks over several hours, stopping on the sidewalk to sit with the pain. He's begging the God of Medicine, his Hari that he takes for granted to please just fix him up. But Hari's not here and he screwed himself over, Aki's not on any migraine medication. When he schleps himself home he's just exhausted, it's all he can do not to fall apart right there. But he curls up on the couch with Tohru, cries into her stone-hard stomach while she soothes him, strokes his hair. Their fight from before isn't relevant, Tohru's just proud of him for making it, for leaving the house and providing for the little one about to burst. This whole thing makes her melt for him, sets her thinking that Kyo-kun could do all this no trouble. But weak's what she wants, it's won't be enough to play mother to an infant. Clingy Aki-kun's just beautiful, when he cries to her she feels complete.

Poor Akito's just feeling pain though, and he falls asleep with claws to his face and Tohru kissing him.

-----

Hatori's not cruel enough to let the kid go on without a thing to kill the agony. He pays for morphine with his own funds, orders Demerol for the headaches with cash he's made on the side. Doctoring Akito's done pro bono, there's a fund full of yen that's supposed to take care of everything. The Sohma's pay taxes, but that's all tied up in treating the illness, paying bills they can't afford. Pain management is extra; Hari cleans out a million garages just to buy his God a reason not to die.

And it's not like he's got time to suffer now. Today's the ultimate, amazing day they've all been dreading, Tohru-kun's water's broken and she's moaning, screaming on her way to the hospital now, Hari hasn't the training to see her through an at-home birth. But he's got to be there, if the kid's a Sohma then he has to take the blood, he can't deal with Aki's wheedling whining at his heels. He'll be there, but he'll be drugged up, hopefully keeping his mouth shut while Hari helps the obstetrician tend to Tohru.

That's the plan, and Aki swears he'll stick to it, stares worried at his laboring love in the back seat. She's calm enough between contractions, but when they hit she bites her lip, draws blood to keep from crying. "Tohru-kun?" he asks, hand stroking hers as she's broken. He's scared but medication keeps the panic muted, he's not thinking she's about to die just yet. "Are you alright?" he asks, head tipped in sympathy and he's sure that she is, it's hard to believe that his magical girl is really hurting.

"F-fine Akito," she tells him, pain shaking through her once again. She's been feeling these for weeks, random but Hatori's explained, it just means the baby's on its way. But now they're every five minutes, the breaks aren't long enough for Tohru-kun to take it. She kicks her feet, twists a bit to search for comfort. "I just, ahhh, it is hurting a bit and I'm not used to this…"

"Don't worry Tohru," says Hatori flatly, driving fast to beat the traffic coming soon. Why the baby had to come so close to rush hour is beyond him, but it's not like it's something she can help. The Sohmas are used to emergencies, to fatal conditions in need of fixing _now_. This is nothing, the Sohmas have run, they've hired _helicopters _just to save their God. And of course, they'll do anything for Tohru-kun. "When we get there, I can medicate you out of your mind if you want. I think your best bet is probably the spinal block, but we'll see. Anyway be there soon."

"Good," she says, voice strained and she lets out a scream, wracked by a spasm that she didn't mean to speak of. She's embarrassed, guarding her hurt as she's not sure that she's entitled, if her sickly hubby would approve. Akito's not caring now, he's beyond her pain in doped up heaven, wondering if ducks are made of lead.

"Is anybody else c-coming?" she asks him, leaning towards Hatori in vague desperation. Tohru wants her friends there, her grandfather, her cousins and the other Dad, her Kyo-kun in cage who doesn't have a clue. She won't ask for him, she'd never, but she'll beg for Yuki-kun instead.

"I don't know," says Hatori, one eye shifting towards his cloudy charge. "What do you say Akito? Can Tohru have her family here to support her while she giving birth? Or is that too much to ask for?" It's obvious he's bitter, pushing it and Akito's about to kill him, reach right in and wring his neck.

"She doesn't need anyone," he says, seething with his arms crossed and he would have said yes, would've given in to being alone, being good to his girl on this awesomely big day. But Hari's got him on the defense, they're all prickling and pissed off there in the car. "I'll be there, I'll hold her fucking hand while she squeezes out the baby. I know you think I'm an incapable imbecile but I'm _not _Hatori!"

"That's not the point and you know it," he snaps, turns to Tohru and asks her kindly if she'd like her best friends there. She tells him yes, grins through a brutal contraction and says she'd like to see Uotani. "And Hana," she says. "And Kyo…I mean Yuki-kun."

"You know what?" Hari says, swerving past an SUV into the parking lot. "I'll call the whole Sohma, I'm sure they'd all give anything to be with you."

-----

Check-in flies by quickly, Tohru's standing in a scalding shower, de-stressing for the trek ahead. Aki's in the waiting room, yelling at Hana-chan who's just arrived. "You know Tohru doesn't really want you here," he tells her, lying with his eyes downcast, he's ripping holes in his wrists with ruined nails. "It's the doctor's dumb idea, not hers. She doesn't want you here at all."

"That doesn't sound like Tohru-kun," she says, pulling at the lacy gloves around her hands. The destruction's just a little nerve-wracking, the vibes the boy gives off just odd her out. It's sure not helpful that he's screamed at her, that Tohru's been avoiding them for near a year now thanks to him. "Even if she did say that, I think she'll be grateful when the pain gets worse."

"No," says Akito, lips curling with the cruelty in his tone. "If anything you'll be a distraction, you'll make her feel awkward…guilty, you know. You and that blonde girl, you're not really a part of her life anymore, she doesn't like you. It'd be too much of a strain for her to see you there, you understand."

If Hana picks up any bullshit waves, she ignores them, this makes sense in her depressive little brain. Tohru hasn't been in touch with them, hasn't even tried to make the friendship last. And the poor girl's prone to massive guilt, they're part of the past and Tohru's facing her future here, maybe all they'd do is make her feel bad.

Uotani isn't here yet, and Hana's going to have to tell her not to come.

-----

More bodies come for Tohru-kun, and Akito guilts every one of them away. With Hana-chan it was more about him hating her, she's still a evil-bitch plague-carrier in Aki's head. He's not exactly fond of feeling awful, he can't forgive her for the fluid in his lungs, for taking just a drop of Tohru-kun's attention. But that's another thing, there's the attention. A lot of people isn't good for her, she's got to focus on the labor, shove that baby out so she can get back to loving Akito. Once she's in bed she'll be his world, he won't leave his lover's side for anything. But folks around will fuck that up, wreck the perfection he's just dying for.

Before Hari stops him he's thrown out nearly everyone, only Yuki and her grandfather poke their heads in once Akito's in time out. They sit beside her, look on as she struggles and everybody's awkward, Tohru's trying to be a good little hostess, chat up her grandpa but she's stopped by pain too often to continue. Her body's backed up and agony's building, poor little Tohru-kun's just hating this. And everybody nods in sympathy, says they know, they know and they _don't, _these are all men here and Tohru wants her _mommy! _

"A-akito," she calls, voice shaking with all that she lacks. At the very least her husband ought to be there, her Aki-baby she's not married to. Her dear one may be needy, but he's selfish, flighty too. They should've gotten hitched, tied this down before that baby came. "W-when this whole thing is over, you'll marry me, r-right?" she stammers, sweaty fingers raking at his sleeves. Akito nods, glares coolly down at Tohru in her bed of pain. She bolts right up and moans at him, shot through with an awful contraction. "Promise me you will…"

"I promise," he tells her, meaning it and feeling malicious, all _haha I showed you _in his head. Akito's been told since birth that he'd likely never marry, never reproduce or raise a child. School, travel, a career in anything's been out of the question. God forbid that God should have some fun, have a meaning in his life besides endurance. And believe him, it's been a fucking marathon.

But someone just proposed to him, _Tohru _did, the magical girl that all of them want, she's his and she's having his baby. Biting her lip to keep from screaming, pounding the pillow and twisting around, Aki's never been in labor but he sees himself in her. This is the closest they've ever been, and she reaches for _his _hand when she cries out. Not her grandpa's flesh-and-blood though he is, and not the filthy silent rat hovering behind her. Maybe his hands are germy and translucent and frail, maybe they're trembling or forming fists, but they're a lifeline for Tohru when the hurting hits.

Some part of him must have known he'd have this moment. Otherwise he'd have shot himself in the head by now.

-----

There's another doctor here now, a middle-aged scatterbrain whose feet are swelling in her spike heels. What possessed her to wear such monsters to a birth is beyond them all, and Hari's looking a little embarrassed to have brought her in. "How're you doing honey?" asks the woman, smiling hard at squirmy Tohru.

"Not fine!" she squeaks, a little surprised at herself. The girl's so used to spewing lies, telling the world that life is dandy when she's miserable. But the pain's pretty bad and she's starting to understand Akito, god how can you be civil when you feel like you're about to die? And the Sohma, they're just blown away by this, Yuki and Hari and Akito can't believe their magic girl has faltered. 'I'm not fine' just isn't something she _says. _

"Well obviously," the lady says, blinking past the makeup in her eyes. "You're in the dilatation stage right now, and that's the one that hurts the most. If you'll move your legs I can tell you how far you've got before expulsion."

It turns out she's at five centimeters, Tohru-kun's still got a ways to go. The boys start to talk, idle gossip but it gets too loud, they're discussing her and she's too beat to join in, she doesn't like it. Yuki's reading Akito the riot act, telling him he'd better treat this baby right. "None of what you did to me, alright? I know you're miserable or whatever, but get some therapy, don't take it out on your kid."

"Yuki what exactly are you doing here?" he asks, bristling mad because he's got a point, Aki needs to get a handle on his own behavior. But he's much to proud to tell his victim this, no he's got to humiliate Yuki-kun instead. "I mean," he says, "it's not like this is particularly exciting. You get to stare at my girlfriend's vagina all day, what's so great about that? Are you getting off on this or something Yuki-kun? Do you _like _watching her in pain?"

And it works, of course it does, Yuki's red and getting wheezy, this whole emotion thing's just shovels stress on his poor lungs. Of course he's got a thing for Tohru, who on Earth could possibly resist her? She's idyllic if you're feeling awful, and Yuki-kun's just ruined all the time. And it kills him to know that it's Akito, the dad of every demon that he faces now, who has her. The cause and the cure shouldn't go together, everybody else is desperate too! But now's not the time, she's giving birth and it's disillusioning, strange to see her in such pain. _"No!" _he says, head down in response to Akito. "I'm here to _support _her, god!"

"Yes?" says Aki, laughing at his own retarded joke. "Whatever, look she doesn't need support! Not from you anyway, you're not even doing anything!" And he looks so smug, so self assured that Yuki wants to strangle him. Akito's dragging jagged nails right down his arms, he's trying not to scream him out and beat him. He's sensing vague romantic feelings, he wants to kill the kid for even looking Tohru's way. But the lady doctor's grabbed his arms, she's telling him not to fight for now.

"I'm not sure it matters where she gets it from, but she does need _somebody's _support. Why don't you massage her back, she says that it's been hurting her." And she sticks Akito's hands straight on there, moves his fingers to a rhythm that just hurts like hell. They're stiff and he snaps at her, screws up his courage to face the pain. Tohru's got it worse, she does, they've been here for hours with her screaming and he knows it. But this is a one-time event for little Tohru, she's never been in agony before. And the more he looks at her, the more he kills his fingers over her so-called aching back…well as time goes on the rage just snowballs, he's the superior sufferer here. "It can't be that bad," he says, voice tense when she cries out. "Don't you think you're being a little whiny?"

And everybody's on her side, they're all coming down on Akito. Especially this lady doctor, apparently she's had a few brats herself and she knows firsthand just how much this hurts. And part of Aki knows too, not that he's felt it but there's a connection, all he sees in this is being ill. But Tohru's got a goal here, a reason to suffer and Akito…well he's just cursed, just screwed over from day one straight to death. And he's bitter, he's pissed because no one ever pays this much attention to his agony. A pill and that's it, he hasn't got the whole world flocking in to see him through. When she squeaks and writhes they're scared for _her, _not their own lame little lives like they are with Akito.

It isn't fair, it's just not and he wants her to shut up, quit moaning and admit that he's a lot worse off, that her contractions feel better then his hand right now. "W-whiny?" she asks, struggling past her massive gut to stare at him. "I d-don't, I don't really see how I'm being _whiny. _It _hurts, _you understand that right?"

"Oh _bullshit!" _he says, forgetting the fuzzy closeness that he'd felt before. No, now all he's got is a hand on fire, the joints won't move and his head hurts too, a migraine now is all he needs. "It'll be over soon and you'll be fine as fuck, you'll have your cute little kitty-baby to play with and you won't be feeling anything! God you'll probably never feel pain again, do you think this onetime thing entitles you to sympathy? You make me _sick, _you're literally giving me a headache!"

Tohru lets the kitty comment glide on by, she's struggling too much to deal with that now. Of course she's near consumed with fear of outcomes, of course the thought of red hair crowning nearly kills her. But she's trying to keep her mind away from it, focus on what her body needs right now. This though, isn't something she can just ignore. She wants to, god she'd never even _answer _if it weren't for Yuki-kun.

Yuki though, he's seething now, body shaking with the weight of rage inside him. "How _dare _you!" he gasps, teeth gritted as he tries to breathe. "Tohru-kun's in fucking _labor, _just because you're a guy doesn't mean you don't know it hurts! You're being a self-righteous asshole, just because _you're _in pain doesn't mean that the rest of us can't be! I bet you had a fucking headache while you were _whipping _me, right?"

"I don't know which time you're talking about, but yeah, probably! Either that or it was something _worse!" _Tohru-kun, poor Tohru-kun, she's just trying to block this out. Her loving lovely Aki-kun, the father of the babe-to-be would never do these things, Yuki's lying, god he's got to be. She just shoves this little issue off somewhere, finds her mind forming fury at what Akito's said. She's hurting bad and he's still ranting, going on and on about how cancer's abject agony, much worse than this could ever be. And it's not like she knows but the next contraction nearly kills her, sweet little Tohru wants to tear his head off now.

But she refrains, let's Aki storm off in an indignant huff. "Fuck him," she mutters, smiling wide because she knows this pleases Yuki-kun, knows that hating him would just thrill the whole damn Sohma. Only her grandfather looks shocked, but its not like he knows any history. It's not like he understands why suffering's a competition here.

-----

Aki spends hours curled spineless in the waiting room, good hand to his head and he's trying not to scream, missing Sertraline almost more than he does Tohru. He waits for ages as his eyes explode, as the awful nausea swirls around inside him. But he'd go to her in agony if it weren't for the guilt that's slamming through him. Yuki didn't need to bring that up, Tohru didn't need to look at him and smile. Yuki used to take abuse that way, just sit there grinning through the waterfalls that stained his face.

It's not like he's never hit Tohru.

It's not like he can say he won't abuse her, that he won't lose his mind to desperation. This could be a repeat, Yuki all over again and it's only pride that makes him say that it was ever meant to happen. He's grown now though, he's different but…his head still hurts. He's the same as he's always been, and he will never change. Nothing will ever, _ever _change.

-----

"Honey you're fully dilated now, you probably already know this but it's time to _push!" _And Tohru does, throws her whole self into it, just shrieking. Aki's not here and she needs his stiff and waxy hands, needs something to crush and transfer pain to. Grandpa won't do and neither will Yuki, god she's never wanted to hurt either of them, it's not the slightest bit their fault. But tearing out her Aki's bones would be so sweet right now, that arrogant son of a—"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She can't help the outbursts, can't help kicking Yuki when he reaches for her hand.

"Push honey push, you can do it!" yells the doctor, pumping fists in support and Tohru's just praying this over, the nitrous oxide mask they gave her barely does a thing. When the pain comes now she just shoves forward, hasn't got time to take the meds. She's too stoic though for something stronger, in her head her pain's just not that bad. Her body's having a spaz attack, raging for relief but its really just too late now. "Oh my god I can see the head!"

And she keeps on pushing, keeps on yelling and thrashing and begging for her Aki's hand. Tears mix with sweat on her scarlet face, Tohru's never cried so hard for just herself before.

-----

"Please," he mutters, voice muffled by an ancient magazine. "If there are any gods out there who can actually influence these things, _please _let this baby come out mine." He's not expecting but he's begging, his knees drawn close in prayer. "I'm scared…I'm so fucking scared…please Tohru-kun, don't leave me…"

He cries. For himself and for his dear one, for the fragile world that's nearly gone.

-----

"Push!" she screeches, killing Tohru's ears and it's a mission now, her psyche's hesitance is nothing in the face of her spasming uterus, the child lunging forth to be free of her. She wails she doesn't want to, bears down and does it all the same. She begs her mom, her personal god for a black-haired baby, a brunette or even _green, _just anything that won't show Kyo"Come on Honda-san!" the woman bellows, roping the others into a push-push chant, she'd do anything to shut them up.

She can see the head, a baby straight between her legs and god good god the hair is red. It's sparse and it's soaked but it's carroty kittycat Kyo, her Aki-kun's as good as dead now.

The baby's hair is fucking red.

-----

Nana: So how'd you guys like that? I know some of you were hoping for a mini-Akito, and honestly I was too. But if I did that, the story would be pretty much over now, am I right? Giving the characters what they want is just too _nice, _know what I mean? Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed yourselves, and I hope you think I did a decent job describing the birthing process. I did a ton of research, I read a book, asked my mom and trolled the Internet, did everything short of giving birth myself to get this right. Ackph. Anyway you can tell me what you think in the review.

By the way, before you skeddaddle off I have a recommendation for you. On of my online buddy-friends/loyal reviewers, has written a rather spectacular fic. It's an Akito/Hatori called Drifting Away, and its in dire need of reviews. This is seriously one of the greatest fics I've read in ages, so I'm pimping it out with glee. If you've still got fic-reading time when you're done reviewing me, go check her out! (For you Mediaminer readers, it's on 


	12. Naming Her For Death Itself

A/N: Welcome back! We're winding down to the last few chapters now, though what that means in terms of length I can't be sure. I'm thinking three or four, but you never know. Anyway we're coming towards the end. This chapter is also a good deal shorter than the last two…I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but that's how it is. It does mean you'll get to read it sooner, so unless you're one of those folks who _likes_ waiting so long you can't remember what happened the last time, you'll probably be happy about that.

Anyway, in this here chapter they have to find a way to deal with the problem of the little girl's genetics…it's not going to be pretty. Also, there's some stuff about Sohma history in here that's totally made up for the story's purposes. So don't go scouring the manga for a blip of Taeko, because she isn't going to be in there.

So yeah, here's Chapter Twelve for your literary pleasure!

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Everybody Wants Her

Chapter Twelve – Naming Her For Death Itself

---------

You'd never want to walk in on this.

The baby's here, breathing and her vernix caseosa smeared straight off. Akito ought to be there to cut the cord, soak in the wonder of this newborn life. But he's wailing in the waiting room, throwing magazines around and Hari's had to go in with him, hold him tight 'til he calms down. "Is it here!" he asks, flailing, flare-eyed and hititng Hatori. "Did she crap that little monster out yet!"

"She's given birth if that's what you mean," says Hatori, spindly Sohma arms wrapped 'round the Lord, huge Hari hands clasped to keep him safe, to contain him. The doctor knows.

Akito struggles, kicks and cries and even bites him, but in the end he's just too scared to try and face her. He's seeing red hair without even knowing, poor Akito's just dissolving into tears again, he's terrified. "You don't want to go in there," Hari says, face pressed against Akito's hair. When he won't say why Akito asks him, wheedles and pleads and begs on his knees, just tell him, lie to him, anything.

"What's the baby like?" he asks, gripping Hari's hand with a force that pains the both of them. "Does it look like me?"

"She…" What can he say, is he going to lie to the lord now, risk hurting him or what? Hari's seen the little one and she's a spitting image of her dad. There's barely any Tohru-kun in there to balance it, this kid is a female kitty cat, with the same sidelong glance in her narrow eyes. Only a baby and it's obvious, Akito's played no part in her conception. "She's a beautiful little girl, she…she has your feet, I think, she has very long toes…"

And this seems to satisfy him, Aki'll take any scrap he's offered now. He doesn't remember, though Hari does, that Kyo-kun shares those toes as well. Kyo's mother used to crow about it, parental pride overflowing because her newborn, the _cat, _looked a little bit like Akito. And then Yuki was born and her pride was smashed to bits, poor woman. Yuki-kun was close to a clone, just kinder.

"Does Tohru not want to see me?" Aki asks, calm now, coughing. It's weak at first but he bucks forward, loses himself in the spasms of disease. Hari can't keep hold of him, can't keep him safe from anything. Lying can only protect him for now, Akito will break at the news, he'll die. And he's coughing, he's sick and Hatori's just looking in. Not helping him. It doesn't seem worth it now because nothing compares to what's coming. Maybe Aki needs a little pain to get prepared.

"She's tired," he tells him, guiding Aki back into the plastic waiting room chair. "Tohru's just had something major happen to her body, so she needs a little rest right now. Sort of like you after you have surgery…remember how exhausted you were after we took that massive tumor out of your stomach?"

It's not the same. They know it's not and there's no comparison, no one signs on willingly for cancer. But Akito just takes it, shuts his eyes and curls fetal in the folding chair. "I don't believe you," he tells him, melting languid towards the floor. "But I think I'm getting sick again Hari, I feel awful…I can't…" He trails off, takes ages to tell Hatori he just can't deal with this.

"You don't have to," Hari says, "there's nothing to deal with."

---------

Hari drives him home, shunning bumps to save his stomach. Aki's spread out in the backseat shivering, a filthy old blanket tossed on top of him. He coughs nonstop, stains the backseat with blood and Hatori pretends he cares, rails on about the mess of red. But really, he doesn't. Really, all he wants is Akito safe in bed and healing. Home, and he'll take him there, home but he has to leave him. Never mind what Aki's done, when Hari locks the door on his lord he almost weeps. There's no choice, Tohru needs a talking-to, but he can't make himself rehearse it in his head. No, he's stuck on Akito, stuck on his fever and his wracking cough, the tears that fell from bleary eyes when his doctor shut the door.

---------

Tohru's laying looking washed out on the bed. Staring sleepy at her sweet new girl, fingers pulling through her downy carrot hair. Her smile's wan, her systems satisfied, and Tohru's praising God for keeping Himself out of here. This lovely little one doesn't need a scene like that, not in the first hour or ever, she's too wonderful, too fragile and cute to endure her mother's dearest love.

Look at her. Ten translucent fingers, ten long little toes curling out to catch the world. Four limbs and a tight little torso, that hair, god look at that _hair. _It's terrifying yes, but it's intoxicating too, so _odd _on an Asian baby. God just _look _at this pink-faced little wonder, perfect in every single way except her DNA. Akito'll hit the roof, Akito'll shit a brick but Tohru-kun's too blissed out now to care. This _baby. _This drop-deard gorgeous little _girl. _

Hatori slinks in, bowed low with the gravity of what's been going on. "Tohru-kun," he says, ditching the greeting because he's got to get to the point, fly home fast to tend to Akito. But discretion plays a part here, he can't just plow right in and hurt the girl. He hasn't got a clue how to pace this, Hari's stuck for a minute just fumbling. "Tohru-kun…"

"Oh, hello Hatori-san!" she says, smiling wider than her tired lips allow. "This is Kyoko. I guess she's your niece…some amount of times removed…I'm not sure how it works really, but anyway, she's family. Isn't she beautiful?"

_"Kyo_ko?" Hari snaps, eyebrows raised in near disgust. "Tohru you've got to be kidding me."

"Is something wrong?" she asks, purposely oblivious, Christ of course she knows the kid just stinks of Kyo. But she's found a way to work around it, a foolproof theory even she believes in. "Don't be silly," giggles Tohru-kun. "Kyoko was my mother's name, I'm just naming her after her grandma…she had red hair too you know. I think it's just a recessive gene or something…nothing to do with Kyo-kun…I didn't do anything with him, I told you that."

"The tests," he says, creaking bedsprings as he sits down. "I never actually dealt with the DNA, that's not really in my expertise…but your daughter is much healthier than she would be if Akito…I don't want to accuse you of any sort of infidelity, and you don't need to tell me what you have or haven't done with Kyo. But whatever the truth about this kid is, _Akito can't know. _Does that make sense to you Tohru, can you understand _why?" _

She nods, a brief dip of the head that betrays a fraction of her dip in mood, the endorphins she's been swimming in have left her now for dead. "Yes," says Tohru, "yes I do."

"And do you understand why you absolutely cannot, under any circumstances name this child Kyoko?"

"No," she tells him, knowing full well that the Sohma sees their cat, that Akito won't get the mother thing. But the woman's dead and here's this girl, this sacred little sacrifice to the worst loss in her life. How can she _not _call her Kyoko, how can she just _let her mother go? _  
And Hatori, how's he supposed to respond without badmouthing Akito, without telling her he likely doesn't know her mother's name? And if he does he'll just hear Kyo, just flip out, cry and try for suicide? What the hell, he might kill Tohru, throw the infant out the window because the man is that unstable, he's mad. "Tohru-kun…" he says, voice catching on the truth and he just can't say it, can't tell her what an awful choice she's made.

But Hari doesn't _have _a choice. If she doesn't get it she'll just blab, bring the three of them to ruin. And the rest of the Sohma might feel this too, get caught in the crossfire of Akito's rage. They've suffered enough, _Akito's _suffered enough. "Tohru I…you have to understand that he…"

Tohru tips her head, stares into the storm of Hari's eyes. He can't say it and she's swamped in denial, but she knows. She knows she has to let go of the past, let go of her mother on this because the present's more important, her daughter and her Aki meaning more than Mom. "Okay," she says, wreathing fingers through the baby's hair. "I…I'll talk to Akito…we'll figure out a different name…and I'll tell him the hair came from my mom, it'll be easy, right, since it's just the truth?"

"Right," says Hatori, not wanting to damage the delusion. She may as well live her life wrong instead of lying.

Tohru smiles, mimics joy as she stares down. The whole scene just breaks Hatori's heart, because he knows how most of the Sohma has believed in her. This is the girl who's face was meant to break through clouds, to shake up the family and make things _right. _But here she is with the dear lord's life in her fragile hands, Tohru-kun could break him with a single word. And all these hopes of salvation are going to have to be re-routed, funneled into the fear of 'will she tell?' There's no more magic now, no more everybody wanting her. She's done.

---------

He drives her home at nine that night, drops her off in Aki's room and Hatori's on standby, ears open by the door in case of the inevitable. He's prepared for the worst, he's used to it.

Tohru pads in softly, flicks the lamp and tries to calm her fussing newborn, to soothe her Akito who's writhing at the light. "Do you have another migraine?" she asks him, free hand playing with his hair. Aki nods, moans for pity as he struggles up to look at her. His vision's blurred and he's not seeing it, the presence of the young one just escapes him now.

But then the hair jets out, a bright menace in the dimness of his room. He's seeing feline, seeing Kyo, no word out of Tohru's mouth can fix this. He's shaking at the thought of explanations, needing to hurt her first before she blares the truth. She's betrayed him, banged the cat and there's no barriers, nothing now, that goddamn child's hair is _his._

He reaches for her, reels back with the flat line of pain piercing past his left eye. "Put the baby down," he tells her, as low and cruel as he can be through the swelling tears. When Tohru doesn't obey he commands it, screams _"PUT THE BABY DOWN!" _

And she does. The nameless infant's laid down on a chair, bawling her lungs out because she's just not thrilled with all this noise. Tohru swallows as she stares at him, takes a breath to launch into her pre-written justification. Aki's shuddery glare shuts her up, Tohru can't speak with him staring at her.

Aki's on her in a flash, ripping hair and slapping face, fighting like a girl 'cause he's too weak to go all out, she's just given birth and he doesn't really want to hurt her. He wants her dying, bleeding on the floor for him but not…not hurt. Not really truly damaged and he's in check for this, his temper in control.

It won't stay that way. Tohru holds out her arm for him, fends him off with his name in scars. She thinks that this explains itself, that Akito will feel her love and know she'd never do what she's done to him. But the whole things twisted in his head and the scars just seem obscene now. He knows what she's done and she's mocking him.

"You did it," he says, coughs pitching him forward and there's blood down his face, falling with small plops into his shaking hands. It's funny now and he's hysterical, suffering laughter to the point where he can't breathe. When he's caught the air he grins at her, says, "to think, I actually _believed _in you. I thought you were going to make my life worth living, because you _loved _me. I should have known it was a lie. I should have known you were nothing but a whore."

That isn't what he meant to say. Akito wants to fall apart here, rail at the unfairness of the life he's forced to slog his way through, the brutal cave-in of the only thing he thought would make him happy. But all he can do is call her a prostitute, tell Tohru she's to blame for everything. "How could you do this?" he demands, weak little hands putting pressure on her wrists, he's trying hard to twist this, break her.

But he's too weak.

"I didn't!" she lies, snatching her hand away from his, taking control by trying to hold him. He shoves her away, tires himself to the point where dizziness carries him down, his head hits the bed and it's too much just to look at her. _She didn't. _

"Just go back to him," he tells her, face down and he's coughing hard. "You two, you fucking deserve each other. You're a braindead slut and he's the _cat, _he's a _monster. I'm _a monster, and you…" He stops. It's too much, that sentence just executes his spit-seared throat. His voice runs dry and he rasps with every word. "You were with _both _of us…you're an _idiot_…"

"I wasn't with him," she says, shakes her head and keeps it up until he listens. She cups his bloodstained face in her hands, tongues him just to prove her point. "I visited Kyo-kun once or twice once he was locked up, just to keep him from getting too lonely. But we were never together; I never did anything with him. I have _you, _I'm _mad _for you Akito…"

"Explain the hair then!" he shouts, shoving Tohru-kun away from him. "Explain her eyes, explain this fucking baby if you didn't bang him! I'm _impotent _Tohru, I'm way too sick to get you pregnant!"

"It's possible," she says, holding him again and he'd do anything to want to fight it, do anything to want to rid himself of warmth. "It can happen Akito, and the red hair comes from my mother. Did you ever see a picture of her? Our little girl just looks like her grandmother, that's all."

"Bullshit," Aki spits, in hell because he can't believe this, can't keep himself happy on her lies. "She looks like _Kyo, _she's a fucking female _clone. _If she were mine she'd look _something _like me, I don't see _anything. _Hari said something about the feet but that's not…"

He just breaks down then, Aki can't keep playing the frigid Hari-role. Okay so he's cursing, okay he's raised his voice. But all he wants to do is cry right now, melt into Tohru's arms and let her fix him. He wants to believe the baby's his, wants to hurt her for leaving when he needs her just to keep on breathing. He's heaving his sobs and Tohru's barely moved, barely even sympathetic. It's legit but she's exhausted, she doesn't care now why her Aki wants to die.

It takes some time to calm down but he does it, Akito succeeds in shutting down his feelings.

He swivels his stiff neck towards the child, asks if he can hold her, feel her up for proof of common blood. Tohru brings her over, says she'll need to feed her soon. "You might not want to watch, I mean it's a bit well, _revealing, _but I guess you've seen worse, right?" She laughs at this, makes all their moments and connections seem like cheap little paid for skanking. Both of them are feeling filthy, whorish and beat up and used.

"Let me hold her," he cajoles, and soon he's cuddling a newborn. She's fussing and her eyes are pools of Kyo, her mouth twisted in the same raging smirk he always wears when he's in combat mode. For one deluded moment Aki thinks that she can beat him, in one crazy second he slaps the baby's face, screams at her not to look at him like that.

"Oh Christ," he moans when he sees the stricken look in the eyes of his bee. The little girl's shrieking, twisting away from her pain-spilling possible dad. "Take her," Aki says, choking back a sob and looking down. "I'm sorry."

"It…it's okay Akito," she tells him, biting her lip to keep from breaking into tears. This man, this person that she's pledged to love just hit a _baby, _her baby, _their baby _and how can she trust him now? It's one thing to snake his whips at Yuki, one thing to mash a vase in Hari's face, one thing to beat on Tohru when she's pregnant but _this—_this she can't forgive. Not where it counts she can't, not in Tohru's strained and mottled heart. But she'll fake it, switch the subject to the baby's name. "I don't have any ideas," she says, shoving Kyoko to the side for the sake of Aki the abuser.

"We should have talked about this earlier," grumbles Akito, hand to his eyes as he tries to curb the headache's spread. They've been isolated, in denial, the practical just hasn't come up all that often. "I had something in mind though," he tells her, reaching for her hand because he's just so scared of losing her. "I wanted to name her after somebody I really admire…she was one of the few girls cursed like me, her name was Taeko."

"Alright," says Tohru, liking the name and not wanting to fight, not wishing more bruises on her baby girl. "Taeko it is, Sohma Taeko. I guess I'll take care of the birth certificate now…" She's about to step out, stay alone with her girl for time and hope that Akito believes her. But he grabs her skirts with an arm convulsing, begs her feebly not to go away.

"I'll feeling really bad," he tells her, milking the physical though it's absolutely true, he doesn't think his emotions even matter to Tohru-kun right now. He's hit her kid, wrecked everything with an impulsive thwack of the hand. She hates him, she's better off with Kyo because he's evil. "I…I might need you to go get Hatori…"

"Okay," says Tohru, too in-tune to him to think this means he doesn't need her, too devoted just to leave her lover suffering. Tohru crawls in close, sticks squirming Taeko on the side away from Akito. When his eyes flutter shut she scoops the newborn up, heads out to let Hatori take her place for the night. Tohru leaves them, stalks to Hari's office to check the origins of Taeko's name.

---------

Since the family's so mired in the medical, every scrap of Sohma record's squirreled away safe in Hari's office. Tohru knows this due to Yuki, who showed her old photo albums and the like when they were bored. The Sohma saves and what Tohru finds is a filing cabinet full of junk, unorganized and hard to sift through. But she does it all with Taeko in her lap, culls through centuries of Sohma lore in only hours.

After a time she finds her target, a faded photo and a vague narrative history. Sohma Taeko was a pixie-thin brunette with missing teeth and a pained expression. She was born in 1946, fatherless at birth and sick as hell. Her dad had been the only head to unintentionally outrun his illnesses, in 1945 he'd gone to Hiroshima to see some sort of specialist, (apparently the blood issue hadn't occurred to these long-ago Sohmas) and died in the August blast, his body too far gone for even burial. His newly conceived little girl grew up to take his place, as did his wife with the bitter depression heads inherit. Taeko's maladies were painful ones, harsher than even Akito's have been, and her mother Miho walled her off in a room alone, claiming not to be worthy of God's presence, but honestly just looking to avoid her. The girl was so isolated that she never even learned to speak.

Fed up with feeling sick and fed up with her mother, Taeko took her life in 1952. Guns hung around in the house, the current cow's father was a war-crazed veteran, a paranoid, shrieking weapon-waver. Somehow the six-year-old got her hands on a shotgun, and blew her brains out on one smoggy summer night. The rest of the Sohma passed without notice, Taeko's death swept them up like a plague before they managed a replacement.

This is the girl that Akito admires, the girl he wants his pseudo-newborn named for. The thought shudders straight through Tohru-kun, makes her clutch the child tighter to her chest. This voiceless girl led a brutal life, like Akito, and maybe he sees the death as a stand, a protest that this whole thing is an outrage. Taeko probably didn't know she'd take her family with her, and maybe Aki envies her that lack of guilt. But all she did was kill herself, end pain when she could have been brave and kept on. Tohru doesn't get it, can't see a world where you just _give up, _where all you want is blank euphoria, morphine-hazy nothing without the threat of waking. Tohru doesn't want to name her girl for death itself, Tohru doesn't get her Aki's motivation. But she's Taeko if she doesn't want to make him cry, Taeko if she cares about her safety.

Tohru's clueless, drained, and there's little to do but try and take care of her baby. Taeko's squalling and she needs to eat, Aki's calling and poor Tohru's got to go to him.

Who do you go to when everybody needs you? How do you decide who to sacrifice?

---------

Nana: Here's hoping you enjoyed that. Yep, Akito's really stooped that low, he hit a baby who was born yesterday. And there's going to be a lot more baby-hitting later on. You think Aki was mean here, just wait until Chapter Thirteen. Also, Kyo will be making his return into the story in either Thirteen or Fourteen, depending. But don't worry Kyo fans, he'll be here soon.

Oh! On a side note, happy Thanksgiving to those of you who celebrate it. To you non-Americans and you living-in-America-but-don't-celebrate-Thanksgiving-for-various-cultural-reasons folk, have a happy Thursday! And if there are any Canadians, happy month-late Thanksgiving! Basically, everybody just have a great day. Now be sure to leave me lots of reviews so I have an extra something to be thankful for…hey stop looking at me like that you single future reader who dredged this up from the archives, I don't care if it's April now!

Bye!


	13. When They Know

A/N: Welcome back everyone! I'm sorry this took such a long time, I've been busy and brain dead as usual. This time it actually kept me from writing, I've had more homework then I know how to handle. Also, as you can see, this is a rather longer chapter than the last one was. Ah well, here it is anyway. Kyo-kun comes back in this chapter, something which I'm sure will thrill a few of you. And you can probably tell what 's in this chapter based on the title! You'll have to read on to see how it happens though. Have fun!

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Everybody Wants Her

Chapter Thirteen – When They Know

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Time skips. With Aki laid low and running a fever, Tohru's taking Taeko on alone for weeks. Time warps. One day she'll be sitting there nursing the baby, face frozen and mind numb as her little one sucks. The next she'll be hurrying her, yanking her breast away before the girl can finish. These are the days when she needs to see Akito, when Taeko's not enough to keep her sane. Time never ticks by at a normal rate, Tohru's either spazzing out or brain dead, never average, never pleased. This isn't enough but she's terrified of endings, of Aki feeling well enough to cause them pain

Today she's sitting, Taeko feeding and the sun spilling dazzled from the wood-framed window. Every cell in her head's closed in on this, on the rhythmic sounds of Taeko's sucks. Because every other thought just brings the panic, the sick looming knowledge of what's probably to come. And what's happened.

_"Don't look at me like that!" _He hit her child. That's the past but he hit her child, for days she's bruised and skittish, she won't let her so-called father near. That's the past though, Tohru's head's in the future, but the future freaks her in another way. With every flash of Kyo-kun that this little baby brings, Tohru knows she's got to tell him, got to trust him with the truth. This is his daughter and the lie's not right, she can't keep this up anymore. When she starts filling out it's pretty obvious, this isn't her grandma that Taeko takes after. She's probably his and if she's not, Tohru's bound to know when she sees Kyo-kun, right? It's been too long and she'd really like to…

No. No if she sees him she'll just kill her Akito, he'll find out somehow and he'll die. Tohru-kun's a good girl and she can't, she won't, she kind of has to. But she'll be delicate, she'll love him and lie and leave him clueless. She'll see her Kyo, save Akito. When she shifts her sleepy baby to the side she smiles, Tohru's sure that this will turn out fine.

---------

"Akito-san!" chirps Tohru brightly, shifting Taeko in her sling as she raps softly on the door. "Are you awake Akito, can I come in?"

He calls her in, demands the door shut with coughs replacing many of his words. "You're still sick, huh?" she says, grinning weakly as she sits by him on the bed. Tohru's trying hard to make this just a little funny, to squelch the screaming terror just for now. How she should feel is beyond her, Tohru's strung up in conflict over Aki and her little girl. Maybe if they spend some time together, get acquainted while he's weak they'll be okay.

"Oh, no, not at all," says Akito, rolling eyes past a migraine that his morning shot of Demerol ought to have prevented. "Of _course _I'm not sick, I've just lying been in bed for the past three weeks because I'm _lazy." _

Tohru laughs, not amused but trying hard for humor, she can see he's sick to death and shaking. "Do you know what the problem is?" she asks, free hand thrumming through his hair the way it used to be. She can't press close and he doesn't want her to, the air's not coming easy and he doesn't want to make things worse.

"I don't know," he tells her, shrugging since it's not like he's paid attention. Aki's been out of it for weeks, he's still drained, still sleepy and depressed. He rubs his eyes, rattles off what he remembers of Hari's garbled diagnosis. "He said I have like fifty million different things…I've been throwing up blood so he thinks I have an ulcer, when I'm _coughing _blood he says my pneumonia never really left me…on top of that I've lost too _much_ blood so that means that I'm anemic. And I have a fever, and this headache…I don't know, I feel terrible all the time and nothing Hari does ever helps me, so why should I care about the little details?"

Tohru's at a loss to tell him why. She knows from Hatori that it's important, that Aki's got to know what's going on or he can't assist his own recovery, but she also knows that he's been at this twenty years. "You must be tired of it," she says, voice soft with sympathy so strong she's going to let him hold Taeko. Not that his suffering's remotely connected to his prowess as a dad, hell if it is then all it does is make him worse. But Tohru-kun's forgetful eyes just light up in the face of Poor Baby, she needs him to need her now. "Here," she says, ignoring his question when she makes her offering. "Someone hasn't seen her daddy in a while."

"Someone hasn't seen her daddy _ever," _Aki mumbles, laying Taeko's twisting body on his quilt-coated lap. Taeko shrieks as if betrayed, calls for Mom but Tohru just looks on, stays grinning. "She's crying," says Akito, stating it blankly since he's trying not to care that she can't stand him. "You should take her, I, I don't think she likes me…" And he trails off, pitches forth to puke but Tohru's quick, she's got a bucket in front of him before anything can splash the baby.

"I guess I'm getting used to this, huh?" she asks, laughing like the blood in there's hilarious, like Aki's illness is a joke. Taeko doesn't look perturbed, she seems to sense a lack of strength she's safe with. So she calms down, quits screaming long enough for Aki to shrug off his throat's acid sting and pick her up.

"Hey," he says, almost smiling at her random tufts of red, her Kyo-kun eyes and even breathing. "Hey Taeko. You're a…you're a very cute baby. Very ah…healthy. And lucky to be born that way." His voice picks up, takes on a tone of more authority, godlike and haughty to Tohru-kun's ears. "Do you know that you're not cursed, little girl? You're a Sohma but you're spared. Not like me and not like a man who looks just exactly like you. Your uncle Kyo-kun would turn into a cat if he touched you, and I'm probably toxic to your lame little immune system. But you're not like us, you've got a good start in life and you're going to be happy. Like your mother. You're going to be happy and stupid just like her."

He turns on her, eyes shot through with flames and pain. "Take offense Tohru. Tell me that you're not an idiot."

And she just stays silent, mouth shut in fear because she's stopped understanding him, Akito's beyond her now. When he's combative like this, when he's angry, the wrong word'll just set him off screaming. Hitting, and he's got the baby in his hands. Her eyes hit the sky and she begs her mom to spike his fever, make him far too sick to want to hurt her. "So what?" snaps Akito, coughing his throat raw and Tohru-kun smiles, thinks that Kyoko's watching her and on her side. "You're just going to sit there and let me insult you? You're going to take that kind of shit from me?'

She nods.

And Akito nods, hands curling hard around the baby's wrists. "That's right," he says, "that's right. You _are _going to take it, because you're _mine, _I'm God to you, I _own _you. You may not be a Sohma but you will be, when we get married like _you _asked me to. This—"—he coughs, managing intimidation in spite of weakness—"— is not a choice for you. Honda Tohru doesn't exist as far as I'm concerned, and neither does Sohma _Kyo. _You're my property and I forbid you to see him."

"I…I wasn't going to," she mumbles, the falsehood obvious since she hadn't even thought of how to cover it. "Why would I want to do that Akito? I have, I have you, I don't need anybody else…" And she crushes hard skinny fingers in her own trembling fists, she's so good at lying when the lie's meant to help somebody else. A vague part inside her wants Akito to know, wants him broken, shrieking on the floor so she can fix him.

But she can't. Once he knows, really knows with no doubt, it's over. Even magic flying fluid from her hands can't save him after that. Not that she has it. Not that Tohru sitting pitiful with her child cradled by a beast is any good to anyone. No. No she's just…worthless now, pointless and she can't figure out what Aki needs her for. But she promises, pleads with him not to let her leave him. She will. She knows she will because she can't hurt Kyo, but his fever will sing him to sleep, keep Tohru covered when she flees him.

"Never again," Akito snarls, coughs tearing past his mouth into quaking palms, Taeko bouncing with the tremors shaking him, she cries. "You'll…never…see him…again…"

"Of course not," she lies, stroking soft his sweat-stained skin. "I would never do anything to upset you, I've never done…Kyo means nothing, he hasn't and I love you." And oh God she's just murmuring bullshit, trying to lull him into drifting satisfaction. Taeko's fed and diapered, fine for now to be alone with him. She doesn't think and she's desperate for connection, it doesn't occur to her that a three-week-old's not safe with anyone asleep. "Just rest," she says, cuddling close and kissing him, almost conking out herself because the birth's still got her weary. But Tohru's Tohru and Tohru's strong, it's Akito who's weak, Akito who needs a nap now.

His eyes squeeze shut to stave off pain, the headache's in his right eye now, pounding hard and he hasn't told her, he wants Tohru to look past what's obvious and see somebody strong. "You'll get worse if you don't sleep," she whispers, her voice so close it makes him shudder. "You might get sick enough to die, and then who would be there to stop the Sohma from having its way with me?"

Silence stings them petrified, frozen 'til Akito flies up, hands to his face to catch the killing coughs. "Why would you _say _that!" he cries, tears springing and a cork growing in his throat. "Don't you…don't you _ever _say that again, get _out!"_ He snaps his fingers shaking towards to door. "G-go…t-take her, take her with you I…go…!"

And he sobs, heaves and chokes and whines and curls up screaming. The little line of rage gains speed and he's shrieking, beating the pillow as he tells her _"GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!" _

Tohru gets out. She does exactly as she meant to, heated in shame for adding damage. She hasn't meant to say that, it just sprung from her like an infant from some mythic woman. Since there's no taking it back, she goes. With Taeko still thrashing bruises on her dear love's legs.

---------

Look at her. Ten translucent fingers, ten long little toes curling out to play at God. Four limbs and a tight little torso, that hair, god he just wants to _tear out that hair. _It's terrifying yes, but it's disgusting too. God just _look _at this pink-faced healthy little heathen, repulsive with Kyo shot through her DNA. Akito'll hit the roof, Akito'll shit a brick, Akito's nails are screeching down the baby's neck now. This _baby. _This heartbreakingly hideous little _girl._

Akito picks her up shrieking, focuses his pulsing eye onto her tiny face. "I bet you think you're _so _great," he sneers, digging in her skin with bony fingers. "God's gift to the fucking world. You wish. You _fucking _wish. God's got _nothing_ to do with _you_, you're a _monster. _You're the product of a beast and a moron _Taeko, _you'd be _sick _if you came from me, you'd be _suffering. _Do you want to suffer Taeko? Do you want to prove you're loyal to the lord?"

She squeals, she twists, she writhes away, but Aki's standing up now, taking steps on shaking legs to reach the door. He hasn't a reason to leave but he's restless, pacing with the eight-pound Taeko in his scrawny arms. He hacks phlegm in her face, prays to pass on the pain he knows so well. This girl's existed three whole weeks and she hasn't known a single illness, to Akito that's ludicrous, to Akito that's just not fair. He giggles, coughs so hard he nearly drops her. And then he simply lets her go, and when she hits the floor he kicks her. Taeko doesn't hesitate to scream, this child stands for no bullshit. But Akito could not care less, he likes her tears, he works for these things, soaks his soul in them and smiles.

He steps on her, presses her with weak feet to the floor. As he looks at his toes he can see the connection, the vague thread of life holding him and this poor girl together. But even if she _is _his she's not tormented, she's got to start off on the right foot if she wants to be like Daddy. Aki rakes at her with those long curled toes, kicks her around until the tears quit coming. Taeko's cries come in feeble moans, minor motions as she signals for her mom. _"Ha!" _shrieks Akito, "Fucking HA you little pisser, Tohru-kun's not coming for _you! _I told her to go and that means she's _gone, _no one disobeys me because I'm _GOD! SHE'S NOT COMING BACK AND YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME!" _

It hits him. He picks the shaken baby up, cuddles her stiff self to his chest as he sinks down. "She's not…she's not coming back…" he mutters, coughs striking each word like some messed up harmony, pain oozing coolly through his veins. "I…made her go away…and you must hate me now…you don't even understand that I'm God…I didn't…I didn't mean to…" Pride shuts him up, or maybe it's the need to puke, Aki's on his hands and knees hurling once he lays the baby on the bed. He's torn up in agony, nearly crying for how hard he hurts. "Aggghhh…god this _sucks…" _

He wipes the vomit from his mouth then, brain slamming his skull in his vain attempts to make it back to bed. Taeko lies there mocking him, humming sweetly to herself because she's safe and he is not, Aki can't make it up to hurt her. The world warps into darkness as he's screaming in pain, hands flailing 'cause he can't decide which part of him to hold. Oh it hurts but it's ending, Aki's passing out now, arms stretched across the night-blue bed.

---------

Tohru treads the crabgrass to the kitty's cage, singing tunes so mournful that they make her think of Akito. Already she's dreading what she's done and what she's doing, the suffering she's bound to cause in telling Kyo. But he's got the right and anyway, Aki and the baby haven't bonded well enough to beat their blood, and here's a chance, a good one, the man was mad but _clearly _ill, god his temperature was in the stratosphere.

So Tohru-kun can play at being calm, stride to Kyo-kun waving with her open hands. "Hi," she says, wincing slightly at the squalor. "It's um, it's been a while."

And Kyo's just too relieved to scream at her, it's been months and he's barely seen a soul. Kazuma's been here but he's set up a dojo in Shanghai, life means more than watching his semi-son's decay. And Kagura's got herself a goddamn boyfriend, this flabby door mouse with a massive cock to keep her busy. She hasn't really been around. No one has but here's Tohru, eyes bleary with the stench of Kyo's excretions. Here she is, lovely as ever and he just _hates _her for reminding him again of what he's lost. "H-hi, T-tohru…" he mumbles. "Hi…"

"Kyo," she states, eyes to the ground because she knows it's Akito who's done all this, who's left this poor man to rot forgotten in a cage. And honestly, her only thoughts of him were stitched with Taeko, sewn up with Akito's reaction. Kyo himself just hasn't occurred to her, but now that she's seeing him, stooped and skinny, feet deep in piss and shit and cat food. He's got bite marks on him, little chunks missing from when he didn't get fed but got desperate. "I…I just…well first of all I'm really sorry I didn't come sooner. I just, I've been pregnant, it's been a little hard to move around…that doesn't excuse the first few months but…I hope you can forgive me…" She sniffles, peers at Kyo-kun with her huge and heartless eyes.

"It's fine," says Kyo, too sapped of strength to say much more. It's not fine in the slightest but the poor guy's broken, beaten down. "You've been…busy…"

"Yes," she says, "yes I have."

And they're quiet for a time, just thinking. This is strange on both their parts, Kyo's not used to human contact and Tohru isn't used to Kyo, it's awkward and they're strapped for what to say. But she's come here with meaning, with something Kyo's just got to know. "I guess it's obvious I'm not pregnant anymore," she starts, rubbing the post-birth flab that's still plaguing her. "My little girl was born on April 29th. Three weeks ago she…she's beautiful. And I…I just wanted to tell you that. So you—"—and she chokes up there, starts sobbing—"—so you know."

It takes some time, but Kyo manages to find the part of himself that can be happy for people, the part that's stayed unscathed by pain and jealousy. "That's wonderful," he tells her, picturing a freaky Aki hybrid, some combination of evil and what's pure. "That's really great. What's her name?"

"Taeko," says Tohru, "Sohma Taeko."

If that sounds familiar to Kyo he doesn't think it consequential. "Nice name," he tells her, uncurling his stiff hands from the prison bars. It's getting hard to move the joints now, to force them out of a permanent let-me-go pose. "What does she look like?"

"Well actually Kyo, that's what I came to talk to you about." Tohru smiles, halting, nervous, and her shoes kick the ground as she speaks. "She has…well she has red hair. My…my mom did too, but not like yours, not so bright…and Taeko has the same sort of narrow brown eyes you have…I think…I think you may be the father."

Something tidal drifts inside him, it's a while before Kyo can make connections. But this is important, this means _something_, means the world. This could be the absolutely collapse of Akito, the death of nearly everyone he knows. Not that he sees them, not that his life or theirs matters much now. So he's not feeling fear, not rage or anything he's really used to. No, Kyo's just feeling weary, feeling vaguely pleased that something that could be good has come to be. "Is she now?" he mumbles. "I don't suppose that's going to change our relationship much, is it?"

Tohru's head sways slightly side to side, she tells him she's still sick in love with Akito, still bound to him with ties stronger than the most devoted Sohmas feel. "You'll always be my friend Kyo, and I'm going to do my best to get you out of here. But if I change things now I'll just destroy him, and…he means to much for me to let that happen, _all _of you mean to much for that."

"Is he going to help you raise her?" asks Kyo-kun, shoveling shit with his filthy toes on the floor. It's really putrid and Tohru trying hard to shut her senses down. Looking at him makes her feel fortunate, clean. And she is, she's got a chance to stop the train wreck of her life. She has someone who will help her if he can.

"Yes," she says, grinning warmly at the thought of Akito serene, holding Taeko loving in his arms the way he never has yet, the thought of being normal. "She's…mostly my responsibility, Akito hasn't been feeling well for a while now…but he helps. He's watching her now, actually."

Paternal feelings tug inside of Kyo, his eye's flash and he stands up straight to face her. Within seconds he's back in the stoop but first he asks her just how far out of her mind she is. "You left that _maniac_ alone with my little girl?" The words feel hollow as he says this, Kyo doesn't really resent Akito, or feel that he's insane. But he's working himself up now, trying to set fire to the fury that there used to be. Reason says yes, the man's a nutcase, not to be trusted with a newborn. And Kyo's trying so hard to play for Reason's side right now.

Tohru's not helping, she's denying what she feels inside, rambling on about how safe and sane her Aki is, how she'd never have left the girl had she thought there was any danger. But as she stares at him with closed-in eyebrows, she knows that the only reason she can trust him is the fact that he's too weak to do much harm. There's nothing in her love that's stable, nothing that's not just waiting to break. "Don't talk like that," she says, "he's her father in every sense but the biological, _there's nothing I can do. You're _locked up, _you_ can't take care of her. And I _love _him, I trust him not to…hurt her…"

"Does he know where she comes from?" Kyo-kun asks, head tipped incredulously as he fumbles for her hands. She will not take them through the bars, she can't because she needs the distance and they're filthy, just repulsive. The bone-white beads of his bracelet are stained brown. "You're different now," he tells her sadly, "way back when you would have touched me. You would have…" _Loved me. _He wants to say that, wants her as desperately as his deadened state allows.

Tohru bursts into apology, still refusing to reach for his hands. "No," she says, backing up to what was said before. "No, he doesn't know, he can't. I only told you because I didn't think it was right not to let you know you had a daughter. But you can't tell him!" she squeaks, sure he will though Aki hasn't been to see him. No, no she can't imagine the fallout, can't picture Aki getting worse than he's already been. "Don't…"

"Why would I do that?" he asks her, laughing lightly since it's just ridiculous, why in hell would he bring wrath upon himself? But Tohru's pleading so he promises, "no I'm not going to tell him."

"Good," she smiles, "that's great."

"Can I see her?" Kyo-kun asks, hands back on the bars and he's pleading with her, begging for this proof that they've connected, that Tohru once pretended that she loved him. Now she doesn't even care enough to lie. And anyway, he'd like to meet his baby, this little one who evidently looks just like him. "Could you just bring her over once for me?"

Tohru shakes her head, top teeth scraping on her bottom lip. "No," she says, "no I'm sorry, but you can't. Seeing you now is risky enough. Akito's bound to get angry, and you know how he is when he's—"—Kyo-kun's got his palm out, backed away from the bars in an attempt to shut her up.

"No Tohru, I _don't _know, because I haven't seen him or anybody else is _months. _All I remember about Akito is that he's a sickly little fuck who probably gets off on causing other people pain. I don't know how he gets when he's _angry, _but I'm assuming that he hurts you. If that's it then you need to leave, you can't put up with that crap when you have a baby. If he's hurting you or Taeko, dump him now."

Where that came from is beyond him, how that contradicts with the peace he feels just jars against his heart. But the old Kyo's back and he's pissed as hell, he doesn't care anymore about Akito's reasons. Bruises are spreading wings on Tohru's cheekbones, _Kyo is standing in his own waste thanks to him. _There will be no more forgiveness, no _'oh, he's lonely.' _That's _bullshit, _and Tohru's opening her mouth to spew it at him, convince him that the twisted man's okay. "Don't," he says, "just don't. I don't want to hear about how much you love him, I'm jealous enough, can't you see? I have _nothing, _Akito's taken you, he's taken my life and he's taken my daughter. You might love him but Tohru I think he's an asshole. I hate him."

Christ Almighty it feels good to feel the rage again.

---------

She pads her way inside, stepping tenderly until she hears her baby girl. When Taeko's shrieks explode into the calm, Tohru cannot stop her feet from running. If denial, if outright lies have cost her child's safety, Tohru-kun will fall apart as fast as Akito. She screeches in, wraps the wailer in her arms and calms her down. "Honey, oh honey it's okay. Mommy's here, everything's okay." She looks her over, winces at the blood and bruises, the sickly strips of pure-and-simple pain.

And then, there's Akito. Half on the floor with one hand hanging, mumbling febrile nothings in between his low pained moans. Pathetic to the point of being Poor Baby, lame to the point where even Tohru doesn't love him. She will, later she'll let him cling and pray for him, but in this desperate little minute Tohru doesn't even care. "You're not suffering," she says, wrenching Aki by the wrist and nearly spitting, Tohru wants to grind him to the ground. _"She is. _Taeko's a _baby, three weeks old _and she's your _daughter! _Look at her, just _look _at what you _did!" _And he doesn't, Aki fakes too sick to take the blame. But Tohru's hard-eyed, disbelieving. _"Listen _to her Akito, she's _sobbing. _Because of _you."_

"I…I barely touched her…" he tells her, thinking this is true because the girl's just scratched, just a little tossed around. Never mind that she's an infant, too young to hurt in any way. This is nothing and he isn't sorry, when he tells Tohru this she slaps him. Hard.

Akito's mouth contorts into a roar, thrashing forward into Tohru's shielded self. She stows the baby backwards, grabs his wrists as he lunges for her feebly. "You hurt our _baby_," she snarls, teeth bared and eyes bulging. "She's bleeding, she's bruised and you _abused _her. _Our. Little. Girl. _What could she have _possibly _done to deserve that, huh? What could a _newborn girl_ have done?"

"She's not _mine!" _he shouts, blood staining his hands when he throws them to his mouth to catch his coughing. And he holds it out for Tohru, asks her how _his _child could possibly go without disease. "She's _Kyo's, _she's _obviously _Kyo's and you _betrayed _me, you…" He trails off, coughs some more while his honeybee holds the baby. Taeko's happy on her mother's breast, she's fearless and content. Tohru's free hand's curling into a fist though, for the first time ever she's found something unacceptable.

"That's not what this is about anymore Akito. I forgave you the first time because that's what it was, _the first time_. But you've totally crossed the line with this. It doesn't _matter _who her father is, you can't go around beating up children!"

"Why not?" he smiles, seeing that she's faltering, feeling vaguely in control. Between words and coughs he's mumbling, _I'm God I'm God _just to remind himself, stay strong. "I mean Yuki-kun was older than Taeko, but I've been beating the shit out of that kid since we were little…that's my childhood, basically. Leukemia and kicking Yuki's ass. What I really liked was whipping him so hard he'd have his asthma, that was—"

She slaps him again, screams _"SHUT UP!" _as she does. "I don't want to hear about how horrible you are, how am I supposed to be in love with you if that's what you tell me!"

"You're _not _in love with me!" he wails, flung to the bed with the force of her palm. "You wouldn't have fucked him if you were!"

"Listen," she tells him, sitting calm with Taeko squirming, "listen to me. I didn't mean for that to happen."

"You didn't _mean—_" he's about to scream himself unconscious, rant for ages but her hand's running gently through his hair, she's still sitting queen-like with her baby but she has tried stepping down. Tried, at least, to prove that she does love him.

"Right," she says, "I didn't. I guess, I suppose you need the truth now, right? I…hadn't meant to tell you, not because I wanted to keep anything from you but…well I thought for the longest time that she really was your baby…and Akito I love you so much, but you're fragile, you're weak, and I didn't think you could take that kind of blow. Kyo asked me out last year, the summer Yuki got so sick and came to live here…it was actually right after he had this major attack. I was…a little angry with him but he wanted me so _badly…_I don't know why. And…" She trails off, watches Aki's back shake and she knows they'll need the bucket soon, she gets it ready for him. "Anyway, I never thought of him as anybody but a friend. I loved _you…_I still do, even after…yeah. Kyo and I…did things, a few times after he was locked up."

"You m-mean a f-few times after he _broke my rib?" _Aki says, hissing low and knowing this is not the time to get so angry. As if he can help it, ever.

The significance isn't lost on her but she ignores it, just says that yes, it must have been around that time. "What you have to understand is, I never really _wanted _to do any of that. It's just that he was locked up and it seemed like the only thing that could make him happy…"

"W-wait a minute," Aki says, "so you're saying that he _raped _you?"

Her neck hairs stand and she shivers, disgusted by the word she knows just doesn't fit. "No," she tells him, "no that wasn't it."

"But it wasn't _consensual?" _She shakes her head and he stops listening, struggles up to run for Kyo. But pain overtakes him and he's doubled over, spilling blood-streaked bile in the bucket in her hands. When it splashes her she doesn't wince, she's spectacular at taking care of him. Aki's stuck on the idea, it thrills him to think that his Tohru's not at fault, that here's a chance to defend her honor, be a man about the situation. He's so disoriented that he hardly finds the door, Tohru's sitting with Taeko shaking her head no, please no, but Akito ignores her, heads outside to ruin Kyo-kun.

----------

Nana: Well. He knows. And Tohru-kun actually stood up for herself. She actually _hit_ Akito. I suppose he deserved that, but he certainly doesn't deserve what's coming up in Chapter Fourteen. Bad, _bad _things are going to go down. Unfortunately, you guys will have to wait for that, maybe even longer than you had to wait for this one. I won't be working on this story until after Christmas, as I'm writing a fanfic using my best friend's characters, for her present. So because I'm too broke/cheap to buy her something, you can expect Chapter Fourteen sometime in January. Sorry about that.

I'm wondering though, if while you're waiting you guys could try and bump my review count up to 100? Or further, if such a miracle is possible? But come on, if just eight of you review me I'll be in triple digits! Just make it my Christmas present, okay? Thanks! I love you all and happy holidays!


	14. Victim

A/N: Howdy do! Thank you so much for shoving my review count up so high! This is the first time I've ever gotten into the triple digits, you loyal readers are the greatest. Keep up your reviewing and I'll try and keep providing a nifty story!

Now I'm sure you're doing cartwheels of devastating ecstasy at the thought of getting to read my new chapter sooner than you thought you would. If you're not, then congratulations, you're sane!

This here chapter is mightily disturbing, as you'll soon see. Not for those prone to vomiting with rage all over their keyboards. I can't tell you exactly what goes down, but this is a pretty pivotal moment right here. As I mentioned before, bad bad things occur. Also, I do make up a bit about Akito's past and history…none of that fun stuff from the girl-Akito story line. While I'm sure it's fantastic, I don't know enough about it, nor do I want to try and figure out how to make Akito a boy in the midst of it all. So yeah. All hail my imaginary trauma!

Read on and have fun!

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Everybody Wants Her

Chapter Fourteen – Victim

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Minutes into stomping off, Akito sinks weak-kneed to the grass-spiked ground. His sinuses swell at the scent of it and he snarls, pissed to add another symptom to the list of his disease. He's exhausted, glued to the ground with a raging fever, doubting that he'll ever make it up at all. But Akito's not one to give in easily, not one to just ignore the kitty's sins against his girl. He won't let himself believe she might have wanted it, but in his head is Tohru begging, on her knees for Kyo-kun's cock. It hurts him more to think of this, feeds the fury firing him.

So he staggers up, self dragging. Kyo's cage is ages from here and every step is shooting pains throughout his legs, it's breath draining from his lungs and leaving him. He'll make it though he has to hurdle past the clouding in his eyes, the hammer breaking brain cells in his head, he'll manage. In time his stiff hands reach out and cradle soiled bars, Kyo-kun's piss-stained fingers clawing on the other side. Both are weak and the screams take some time to bubble up. But they do, they do since both are bleeding, bloody furious. "The fuck are you doing here!" Kyo snaps, ragged nails breaking holes in Aki's paper skin. "What do you want from me you son of a bitch, haven't you already taken _everything?"_

Akito snatches his arms away, seething as he stumbles aimlessly, dizzy mind catching up to where he is. "I don't know Ky—"—a massive coughing fits takes him down, gets him laughing with rage as he glowers upward. "If you…if you t-think it's…possible to…take everything…and leave with n-nothing then…then I guess that's what I…did."

"Oh don't even _try _that half-assed philosophy shit, you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. Okay fine, you're out of your mind, but Akito you have everything I've ever wanted, she was supposed to be _mine!" _ Kyo-kun weakens, face crumbling under pressure of the Lord. He straightens his stoop, blinks back rushing tears and glares at Akito. "You think you suffer _so _much. You have no idea what it's like to be your victim, no _fucking _idea. Do you see this?" He points to the all the wreck around him, to the shit and piss and rotting cat food. "This is my life because of you."

"I _do _suffer!" he shrieks, hands through the bars to beat him but his wrist is taken, twisted tight. "I feel like _shit _Kyo, I feel like I'm about to _die! _Every day of my life it's like this, and I thought I at least had _Tohru-kun _to make things better. She was going to be my…my wife, we were going to get married she was…she was going to have my baby and I really thought that…we'd be…happy. You, Kyo-kun you…you ruined _EVERYTHING!" _The rage picks up again after a brief stretch of calm, Aki's wrenching free and reaching for the kitty's neck. "If you hadn't fucking _seduced _her, if you hadn't _raped _her we'd have been _happy together! I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY KYO!"_

"What do you think _I _want?" Kyo-kun asks, neck twisting hard to free itself of Akito. "I want _exactly _what you want, a chance to live a normal life with somebody I love, with Tohru. And it would have worked if _you _hadn't come along and made her want to be your fucking mom! _You _raped her not me, she wants _me!" _

"How could she want _you?" _Aki questions, retching at the scent that he's created, at Kyo-kun brown and stained. "She's a little thick but she's not an idiot Kyo, she knows everything about you! You're a murderer, you killed your mom and you're a _freak_—"—Kyo-kun socks him, yells not this fucking monologue, he's heard this bullshit all before.

"Maybe I'm a freak," says Kyo, "but you need medication. You shouldn't be allowed near Tohru-kun, you shouldn't be allowed near my _daughter_. You should never have been allowed near _anyone _Akito, they should have locked you up instead of me!"

Akito shudders, wonders if he's right. When those cold thoughts come he spaces out, spits vomit through the cage at Kyo-kun's feet. "Well there's my stomach acid, it can live with you and all your filth in the cage until you die."

Normally he'd notice this, say Akito's disgusting and he needs to learn some manners. But he's so used to the repulsive now that it doesn't faze him, all he wants is to berate him, shove his face in every one of his mistakes. "I may hate the rat-boy, but even _I _think you ought to be jailed for what you did to him. Back when we lived at Shigure's he used to wake up screaming. When that happened, when I asked he'd always say he'd been dreaming about you. Sometimes he'd slap his face in the mirror because it looked so fucking much like yours. Tohru was the one who went to him at night, but he only told _me _what you fucking _did."_

"I don't know what you're talking about," says Akito, sick and shrinking, trying to work out how this shred of past has come to haunt him. He thinks he knows about the time Kyo means, the desperate moment when Yuki-kun became his everything. They were kids, just babies with Akito on the tail end of chemotherapy. He was weak, frighteningly weak and wigless, he'd grown allergic to the coarse material. So Akito had sat there bald and trembling in his bed, Yuki on the floor engrossed in his retarded Gameboy Pocket. What he remembers is sitting slowly up and speaking to him, begging him to come to bed, please, it's so cold and lonely here and he can't take it anymore, he'll die. He remembers Yuki saying no.

"You raped him," Kyo sneers. "That's why I'm saying that you did the same to Tohru. Both of them are so _pretty, _and you're a pervert, you're a fucking sadist and you wanted them in pain. I don't know why you had to turn on Tohru, I'd have been just fine with you banging the rat."

Akito shivers, hands on his ears and he screams, "shut _up _Kyo, this has nothing to do with anything! First of all," he coughs, "first of all you're only saying I hurt my honeybee because you want to believe that she loves you. And as for Y-yuki-kun…well I can't believe you're taking him face value. I didn't think you were that _stupid _Kyo."

"Why would he lie about that?" Kyo asks, head tipped just a little to the side. "I had to threaten him to get him to tell me what the fuck was going on. Yuki and me aren't friends, it's not like he's gonna open up about this shit unless it's serious." And he trails off, smacked straight in the face by something Aki's said before. "Your _honeybee? _Is _that _what you call her you sick little…Akito she doesn't want to be with you! Maybe she _thinks _she does but you're hurting her right, you're hitting Tohru and my little girl. How could she…she's not…she's not stupid you're…you're a fucking rapist Akito!"

"Haven't you got anything else to say to me!" Aki screams, choking on lung-blood, welling up and he's breathless, voiceless for a time. The blood gets stuck, clots in his throat for ages 'til he coughs it up, pants in pain as his eyes rip into Kyo's. "I'm…a lot of things Kyo, b-bad things but a rapist is something I'm _not…_s-she's, she's all I have Kyo, she's all I fucking have! She loves me she…"

"Then why did she _cheat _on you?" Kyo asks, grinning with the malice dripping from his lips like drool. "If she loves you so much, what the hell was she doing fucking _me! _Taeko's _my_ daughter Akito; it's pretty obvious we were getting it on!"

_"I'LL KILL YOU!" _Aki shrieks, voice weak again, straining with the strength of his unholy rage. "You're _dead _Kyo, you're fucking dead! I'm God, okay, I _am _the Sohma and I will not tolerate this _bullshit! _You're the cat!" he snarls, digging through his robes for keys, for a means to enter, beat the kitty up. "You're the cat and you've got no right to say anything, you're a monster who's forgotten his _place!" _

And he's really fired up now, stepping heavy in the fecal mess of Kyo-kun's cage. He swings for him, lands a hit but Kyo's got him by the wrist again, he's twisting. Akito can feel the bones come loose, the tendons snap as the hand goes slack and useless. "My _place!" _Kyo spits, "you want me to learn my _place? _How about this O Lord And Savoir Akito, my place is lying down where Tohru is, with my dick in her cunt 'cause we're cooking up another gorgeous healthy baby! And _your _place can be rotting in a fucking coffin!"

Aki swallows, scared but striving for composure, for that awful stance that's gonna make the kitty mind. He knows that Kyo-kun only says these horrid things to make him nervous, Kyo's not a predator, he's mad but Tohru's precious, he's lovingly protective. Not like Akito, Akito who just needs and needs and needs without cause, without reason he will hurt you, he needs your blood in his hands to feel alive. To keep his claws and knuckles docile, down, would be the same as saying hey I'm weak, I'm powerless. You can kill me, go ahead.

It would not be hard for any of the Sohma clan to kill him. This thought scares Akito so bad he nearly cries, and Kyo-kun proves it. Kyo-kun rips his broken wrist the wrong way, gets him screaming with his eyes rolled back. _"Ohhh…" _he moans, "oh that _hurt…_"

"Yeah you don't have to orgasm over it," Kyo-kun says, kicking Aki down and he tries to stand up, tries to hit him but with one failed punch it's over, he's on the floor again, back bleeding. Kyo-kun's laughing, eyes boiling with the thrill of what he's done. He is the only one who's dared oppose this particular god, for this he'll go down in Sohma history. Kyo-kun kicks him, grinds his grimy toenails into Aki's ribcage. "I don't care if you're God," he says, "religion's a choice, I don't have to worship you. I mean seriously, what kind of god can't defend himself? You deserve everything I do to you and more."

Akito screams as Kyo tears strips of oaub all down his back, calls him every name he thinks of from a mommy-killing Tohru-rapist to a pirouetting jelly bean. Tears fly from his eyes and he beats his fists, kicks hard to make him stop, it isn't working. Kyo-kun bends his legs back, snaps the brittle bones like twigs in winter. Then he flips him over, pounds him in front 'til his yukata slips, yields a bruised and bleeding shoulder.

Unthinking, Kyo-kun peels the garment off, looks at Aki's skinny body with a grimace and a glare. He hadn't meant for this to be the punishment, but it's perfect really, penance for his every sin. Kyo-kun pulls his boxers down, worn against tradition to guard the warped, the ruined things down there. Kyo-kun hadn't known about Yanyan, he'd been clueless as to the Eggy and the Raisin. But he sees them and he giggles, laughs maniacally at the lame excuse for manhood that he's just unearthed. "The fuck?" he says, reaching for the shriveled dick and squeezing hard. "This is…oh god _Akito. _Thisis what you, _this _is what you've been sticking into Tohru-kun? You can't even _call _this…oh Jesus Christ…"

Akito's face turns screaming red, he tries to twist free but it's hopeless, all he does is send anguish shooting everywhere. "D-don't, don't touch me," he hisses, eyes wide in fear, he's shaking. And Kyo-kun, he just tips his head, smiles soft and asks him why.

"I don't see what the big deal is," he says, "those things aren't even genitals, what do you care if I mess with 'em a little? It's better than when I broke your fucking leg." He checks the bone, makes sure he's right, it's wrecked now. Kyo-kun's laughing, half-hysterical as he crushes Aki's swollen balls. He laughs so hard it's hard to breathe, his sides and stomach ache as he smiles. Aki's head is filled with Tohru-kun, her slurring speech when she said that she _liked _Yanyan, she loved him, wanted him and wanted him deformed. Sick, the way he is. Kyo knows nothing; his mocking touch means nothing at all.

"Stop," he begs, "please stop…"

But he won't, Aki knows he won't 'cause he remembers last time, when the kitty said he hadn't stopped for Tohru-kun, he had no right to ask for mercy of his own. He's stuck on the idea that Aki's raped her, needing it to keep from wanting to curl up dead right there. Kyo-kun turns him over, rakes nails down his back and spreads him open, asks "how would you like it if I raped _you? _I mean you obviously deserve it, and you seem to be _so _convinced that I'm capable of it, why the hell shouldn't I just _prove _it to you? I mean what have I got to lose right? We're _both _in hell, it's not like things can get any _worse!"_

And Aki wants to say this _is _worse, he wants to throw him off but he can't, the blood loss has him dizzy, he's worried that his oozing wounds on the floor will cause infection. It seems ludicrous that that should matter now, but the medical is all that's _ever_ mattered in the eyes of those who care. Here he is laying in wait to be raped, and all he's thinking is what the shit'll do to him, how Hatori can treat his broken bones.

What would normally torment him is a goddamn comfort in the face of this. Of Kyo stripping nude and beating off so he can slam right in, shoot pain through his rectum and the rest of him. It's up his spine and in his _lungs _somehow, maybe this agony's got nothing to do with it, he'll just focus on the coughing now. Every spasm sears his throat, coats it in blood, it just kills him. But it's better than Kyo-kun's sandpaper hands pushing on his shoulder blades, his bony hips crashing down around him. "You can't do this…" he whimpers, "you w-won't, you won't get away with it…"

"Christ would you _move _or something?" bellows Kyo, ignoring him. "It's not like I _want _to be doing this, it's just that it's what you _deserve, _so could you at least make it suck a little less for _me?" _

It seems like hours but it's maybe minutes before Kyo-kun comes and says he's done, it's over. He had not enjoyed that no, but fucking is fucking and what can you do, he felt something. All Kyo's guilt is buried fast, it's beaten. Pity's not okay because he doesn't think that Aki's ever felt remorse, he needs to suffer now for sinning. And Kyo feels selfish, empty-souled. He stands up and steps on the heap of human, watches him whine as he fakes a grin. The doors swinging open thanks to Akito not locking it, there's no way in hell Kyo's going to stay here.

"Bye bye psycho," he says, almost scared to skip on out of there. But Kyo's been locked up nearly a year, he can't pass up this chance, he's gonna to head for Kazuma's old dojo now, crash there 'til he figures what to do. He doesn't dare show up around the Sohma, when it's God against the Beast there's just no contest, he's the loser every time. So he pulls his pants up, hits the zipper and steps outside, head held high to the mist of freedom.

Keys click in the cage door, locking Aki in.

Kyo leaves.

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Nana: Didn't I tell you it would be disturbing? Anyway I hoped that everybody liked, and if you're freaked out by the content, rest assured that I am too. But hell, they finally do it, though there's no love involved whatsoever. The real Kyokito was way back in Chapter Nine. Anyway yes. I thought that this event was pretty damn significant, and would be a bit diluted if I added anything more to the chapter. Don't worry though, this isn't going to be one of those fics where someone gets raped and it's no big deal, the whole thing will be dealt with soon. Also, the whole Yuki-kun thing shall be explained.

Anyway, happy holidays to you all, I hope this depressing little tale served to enhance them somehow. Now go ahead and click on the little review button, I'd like mine made better too!


	15. Wish Your Blankets Were Sky Blue

A/N: Oh lordy lordy lordy look at this. Fifteen chapters. I've never written a fanfic this long, though an original I'm busting out exceeds this thing by far. But it sucks, and I'm hoping that this ficcy doesn't. I'm certainly working hard. Anyway, I'm sorry it hasn't reached you in a very timely fashion, but it's here, rejoice in its hereness!

This chapter involves more made up stuff about the curse. The concept's tweaked a tad, but I have Raikune to thank for it, she's the one who came up with the fabulous summoning idea. But it was my idea to make it painful, so it's not a total rip-off! Anyway, all hail Raikune and her awesome ideas!

So yes, me shutting up and you reading on to the fic is probably in order. Enjoy!

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Everybody Wants Her

Chapter Fifteen – Wish Your Blankets Were Sky Blue

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_Listen. _

Hatori's head snaps up, neck smarting from the jarring way he's moved. The word comes at him like a song on full blast, some irritating chanting thing. It gets louder in his head, thrumming with a pulse that drowns out everything, the buzz of cicadas and the radiator's shaking are dead to him right now. It's intense, a burden in his brain and it commands him, _listen._

Listen for what?

_Screaming, primal in the night, trailing into choky tears, raspy agony and keening. He is calling for you._

_Feel, _the voice says, and Hari's right leg shatters, pain breathing through him as he grips the wall and walks. "This isn't me," he mutters, "there is nothing wrong with me." But the pain says otherwise, Hari's nerves and closed-off self all scream for safety, beg for him to seek relief. _Feel! _shrieks the voice, on and on in his ears and he's got everything, Akito's agony all in his hands. It kills him just to keep on moving, Hari feels like he's fallen apart, died in his office but it isn't him, it's Akito. This is how he knows that he is needed.

This kind of empathy doesn't strike him often. If it did he'd be a wreck, bedridden and bloated with morphine, totally unable to take on Aki as a patient. It's only when the situation's critical, when Akito is very close to death that Hari feels him, that the whole Sohma's rocking with his pain. Hari gets it the worse but as he staggers out and wills it's passing, he hears Yuki's high-pitched crying from another room. Tohru rushes out, baby in her arms and she's frantic, not a clue what's going on. "Is everything okay?" she asks, shifting Taeko as she twists and howls.

"F-fine…" gasps Hari, lungs flooding but it's fading, he'll be fine because he isn't stuck with this.

"I heard somebody scream though…it sounded like Yuki-kun…it wasn't um, Akito didn't go in and…well he and I got into a bit of a fight, I hope he didn't take it out on him…" Poor Tohru's eyes flick nervously, feeling guilty and deranged. She has no idea what Aki's capable of, she thinks she does and what she knows just scares her more. Tohru trembles, Tohru nearly breaks down at the very thought. But Hari stands up ramrod straight, grins at her as he feels the heat drain out of him, as Akito's fever leaves.

"It is Akito, in a way, but it's nothing you need to concern yourself with," he says. "It's just an unfortunate detail of the curse. I should go take care of it."

"Take care of what?" she asks, confused and clutching Taeko tighter, wondering if she should go and see to Yuki-kun, face the awkwardness of hanging out with someone relatively normal. Hari doesn't want to answer her, doesn't want to cause the girl concern. But she's sputtering, starting to spaz, and Hari thinks she'll just go nuts not knowing. Then it hits him, he hasn't anything to tell, or time. He's got a lead to follow though, a wispy chain of weakness pulling at him, tugging.

_He is calling for you._

"I'm sorry Tohru," he says, "but I really can't talk right now."

And so he brushes past her, scrambles out the door to save his dear and dying god.

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Akito's unbroken leg struggles up to pull him fetal, limbs not getting that he's safe now, that the monster mutineer is gone. Even his brain can't seem to just accept it, every sound's Kyo coming back to cause him pain. Right now he can't quite process what's occurred, he's still not sure if he deserved it. Right now he can't consider if he wants to die, if it'd be better just to lay in wait for it. All that he can do is call for him, keep blaring out the Sohma signal with all the strength he has.

What he does is stretch his mental arms to find them, send his illness on a line to Hatori. He knows the pain's seeping out into the others, but that idea just gets him grinning, he likes for them to suffer same as him.

He lies there waiting, thinking idly that he ought to maybe move away from a massive patch of filth. But he's tired so he shuts his eyes, spaces out 'til Hari comes in flying, arms outstretched to hold him tight. He lights up, struggles to sit so he can see his darling dragon, messing with the bars to break him out. "I'll have this open soon," he swears, "but I don't think it's possible without a key." And that's bad, that's horrid because they haven't got spares, Aki's never trusted any but himself alone to guard them. And Hari wants to tell him just how dumb he's been, how he'd have been free by now if he'd only given in. But he keeps his mouth shut, tries to think of a solution while Aki drags his way to the bars.

"The…m-monster has them…" he gasps, collapsing and he hits his head, shrieks pitifully into the puddle of who-knows-what that he's just landed in. "H-he, he locked me in here he, d-did this, he hurt me, I'm _G-god…"_

Hari shushes him, reaches through the cage to stroke his hair. This is just sad and he can't be angry, can't be cruel when his lord's life is in the balance, he's got a clock in his head ticking off the seconds of their lives. "I know," he says, "I know you're God, and I'm sorry that Kyo's betrayed you. Do you have any idea where he is?"

Aki shakes his head, shrieks again when it kills him just to turn his neck. The screams set off a coughing fit, he's fetal again with blood running down his chin into his collarbones. "Aki Aki, shhhh…" says Hatori, "I know it hurts but you'll only make it worse with all that yelling. I'll go and get you some medicine, once you've taken it we can try and find a way to get you out. Just relax, alright? Everything's going to be fine."

"N-no," he gasps, fear-gripped by the very thought. "No Hari you can't, you can't leave me 'cause you won't come back and—"—his words are killed by coughs again, followed soon by puking on his arms and hair, dirtying himself up even more. "I can't…I can't…die alone. You c-can't… you won't leave me…"

"Akito you're not going to die," sighs Hatori, spewing the stock phrase he's had to bring up every time Akito's been in danger. But he's terrified now, the thought of losing God's unbearable, and it does not occur to him that he'll die too, not yet. "Not if I get your medication. I _promise _I'll come back, you just have to trust me alright?"

And Aki shakes his head again, says his kitty has betrayed him and he cannot trust a soul. "My Zodiac has…failed me…" he mutters, too weak to spit rage but he wants to, he'd do anything not be this blank sad canvas of impending doom. "After everything I've…d-done for them… they've t-turned on me. And T-tohru…Tohru too. N-not you though, Hatori…you gave up being happy…for me. I w-want you with me…when I die. D-don't…don't go."

Hari's torn two different ways, on the one hand he wants to lie down on the crabgrass with Aki's hand in his, feel his death enter him and sap him of humanity, let his family go to ruin just so he can do the bidding of their lord. On the other he can't stand to see his dear god die, can't stand to set the stage for the end of all the others. And that side's winning over, he knows that he can save him if he just leaves now. "I'm sorry Akito," he says, hand to his volcanic cheek to prove he really is. "But I can't let you throw your life away because you're scared."

And Akito tries to explain that it isn't fear alone that's driving him, that he's angry and vengeful and he wants the Zodiac to die. But he wants Hari alive and he can hardly speak, all that comes when he tries is still more coughing. Finally, he gets the air to tell him that he'd better send for Tohru. All his anger's dissipating, all he wants is his honeybee to hold him as he's dying.

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Hatori sends Tohru sailing out, running against the protests of her screaming baby girl. It doesn't matter to her that he ran out mad and she was mad at him, irritated that the only happy answer in Akito's head was her rape and violation. It doesn't matter that she's scared of him, that she knows he'll lash out just as soon as he has strength. All that means a thing is seeing that he's safe, that she's there to play therapist and see him through whatever happens next.

Tohru darts past leaf-laden oak trees, trips a branch and tries to keep from dropping Taeko, she manages and doesn't even slow her pace. The baby's beating bruises on her mommy's breasts, but Tohru-kun's too focused now to really care. She can see the cage, the looming space of pain and filth and fury. _"AKITO!" _she screams, voice cracking over Taeko's cries. _"AKITO I'M HERE FOR YOU, I'M COMING!"_

"Fuck…you…" he whimpers, setting up a little test in hopes that she'll ignore it, not be deterred by anything he says or does. She's stronger with a baby on her hip and Aki's scared to death she'll leave him, blank out his last moments 'til they're so meaningless he may as well just die right now. But Tohru-kun flies into him, jams her arms through the bars as she cradles his head, crying. Taeko's slithered to the floor, screaming to the beat of her mom and Tohru-kun looks down at her, scoops her baby up.

"I'm sorry," she says, "I know I probably shouldn't have brought her but I didn't have time to get a sitter, I just heard that you were hurt and I had to be with you, I wasn't thinking I…" And she trails off, gives her ruined one a quick once-over. What she sees disturbs her, gets the tears flowing faster as she tries to stroke his hair. She doesn't ask him how this happened, why he's smashed to bits now. He shakes her off, flops over and he messes with a broken bone, bays in pain and Tohru yelps in fear for him. "Hatori will be here soon," she swears, "he's a wonderful doctor and I'm sure that he'll make everything okay. You'll be fine."

Aki sits up painfully, using his arms to maneuver since his shattered leg just screws him over, gets in the way with its awkward angle. "I c-can't…I can't believe you…c-came…" he warbles, fading in and out with every word. "I t-thought you'd be…to scared to come….or you'd think that I deserved this…"

"Oh no…" she coos, concerned and reaching for him yet again, he flinches. "Oh no Akito, nobody deserves what's happened to you…"

"But I hurt your _ba_by," he moans, head in his unbroken hand, the other lying oddly floppy in his lap. "How can you…be such a t-terrible…m-mother that you…that you'd l-let that…let me do that…?"

_Way to place the blame on me, _she thinks, but Aki's still talking and she doesn't interrupt, just sits listening with her baby in her lap, ignoring her. "A child should be protected," Aki says, and what he means is that _he _should have been protected, kept safe from the life genetics lumped on him, kept safe from mutiny, upheaval. "Nobody should be allowed to do the things I've done…I need to, I need to apologize to Yuki…K-kisa, Hatori, m-my Zodiac but I _h-hate them all…_I'm _their _fault. I don't, I don't k-know what to _do _Honeybee…"

She sighs, pale hand sliding out his hair onto his molten face. Wishing he would come in closer so she could kiss him as she has the kitty through the bars. "I don't know baby, but for now I think you need to wait for Hatori." And Aki flicks his eyes like it's an act of war, reminds her that he's God because if he does not believe it how can she, how can anybody know the only thing that makes him worth it? "I know," she tells him, "and I don't care about the baby's hair, I am the Virgin Mary."

And Aki just collapses then, crumples in with his broken limbs on the concrete floor. "T-thank you…" he says, coughing weakly through a bleeding throat. "B-but I…don't s-suppose it makes much…d-difference. Either way she's…got a rapist for a dad."

"I'll ignore that," Tohru says, "I don't want to know."

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It takes some time for Kyo to process what he's done.

At first, he's simple speed, running on the little strength that hasn't left him in the cage. And that's not much, he's wrecked now, a lifetime of transformation from a body into art is gone. He's starved for months, stared blankly at the slab of cat food served to him, wondering how anyone expected him to eat it. Kyo gave in of course, gorged himself on kitty chow because he'd be dead by now if not for that. But except for vague escape attempts, Kyo had merely sat there, lain there when the filth made him ill and all he wished for was to join his mom. He's skeletal now, a shaking freak who thinks he's nearly sick as Akito, and any remorse he might feel has been muted. All he has to do is tune in to the vertigo, and he feels weak enough to fall down trembling to the ground.

Kyo's hands scour the surface, push him up with his nails scraping dirt. "I'm not _him," _he tells himself, disgusted by the way he feels exhausted. He looks to the sky, prays for rain to explain this, but Kyo-kun knows he's irreparable. He may die. And he is, finally, a rapist.

It hits him hard, makes him shake his head, deny it, grit his teeth against the depravity of what he's done. Of course he doesn't want to see himself this way, of course he doesn't want to believe it. But Aki's sobbing fills his head, the king of pain filling every crevice in his brain. He's suffered much and Kyo made it happen, it doesn't feel like he's redeemed the Sohma. Or Tohru-kun, she'll be wrecked when she sees this, she'll despise him. She will not understand why Akito deserved this, all she'll see is her beloved baby broken, crying on the floor because of Kyo.

He may as well be dead. Everyone he loves will loathe him now.

There's a noise, a rustling stomp and his name singing out behind him. He turns his head and he sees Hatori, panting lightly at the pain of chasing him. Hari spends his life at a desk, he's not in shape and the dash was difficult, but Hari's driven. The fact that he can run and Aki can't has been enough to keep him going. It's been like that his whole life, this rule applying everywhere. And here's Kyo, here's Hatori having to confront him for his fragile God who can't. "Kyo," he gasps, "Kyo what have you _done?"  
_And the kitty cat's about to bolt, run screaming through the Sohma compound, kill himself on the spot but he can't, he can't because Hari's got a stare that snaps your soul in two. He's frozen. "N-nothing," he stammers, "I just, I got out. I couldn't take being locked up anymore, so I escaped." Hari keeps on standing, staring, hands playing with lint in his white coat pocket. "What, you don't believe me? You think I _wanted _to stay in that hellhole? I was standing in my own _shit _Hatori!"

"Yes," he says, "and right now Akito's lying in it."

Rationality, reality doesn't matter for a moment. Both Hari and Kyo flinch at the thought of their lord wrapped in feces, wounded and infected and fucked. Kyo-kun who has caused this, Hatori who's used to it, neither one can bear that awful thought. And Hatori can see Kyo shudder. "You feel it too," he tells him, "and you can't stand it."

"I don't give a shit about this curse crap, it doesn't matter to—oh god my _head! AUGH!" _He clutches it hard, staggers back with a fear in his eyes, his brain's like a boulder dragging down into the earth. "Goddamn it this is _horrible!" _

It recedes and Hari smiles, tells him that the pain is proof he's part of them. "That was from Akito," he says, "he must be having a migraine, I guess he wanted you to know that. Imagine what else he's contending with, all those broken bones and bruises. I don't know if he'll survive it."

"Well you're a doctor," Kyo-kun snaps, eyes closed tight against departed pain. "Go and fix him."

"I'd love to," Hari says, fists clenching but he keeps them down, it's difficult. "But you have the keys I need to get to him." The fists struggle open, fingers spreading like flower petals in the fall. Hari holds his hand out, demands them though he's positive he's wasted time, that it's too late for Akito.

There's something beautiful in saying no. Kyo-kun shakes his head, denies him in a rage. _"Hell _no," he says, "I'm not doing anything that's gonna help that asshole, he's already got the whole damn world. I'll bet you anything he's fucking Tohru through the bars right now."

"I don't think he's in any condition to _'fuck' _as you put it." Hari grabs the kitty's wrists, holds tight and hopes he'll give it up. "The keys Kyo. If I don't get to him in time he'll die, and with him goes the entire family. Do you want to be responsible for the death of the Sohma? Do _you _want to die Kyo?"

He shakes his head, no, no now that he's free he can't stand the thought of throwing that away. But he'd rather leave life with an angry bang than slip silently away the way he would in the cage. And Kyo does not doubt that he'll be locked up again. He's proven that he's dangerous, he's proving it now as he struggles. Hari digs his feet into the floor. "The _keys _Kyo. Hand them over or I will take them from you, I will _kill _you for those keys!"

Kyo's eyes go wide and he backs off, wrenches wrists away. "Ex_cuse _me? Hari what did you just say to me? You'll _kill _me? Hari that's not, that's not like you, you wouldn't do that you…"

"For Akito," he says, "I would."

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He gets the keys, he doesn't kill Kyo but he gets the keys, scrabbles straight for Akito in the fading light. And in the dimness he sees Tohru's shadow, tragic Tohru with a baby in her lap, she's crying soft and Hari doesn't know how or why he sees her tears shine. It's far and he's half-blinded but he knows that she is crying. Because the memories he steals just overload him, he's clueless as to how his Kana cried, or even Sakurako, but he'll tell himself that Tohru cries like one of them. Like Kana, who meant much more, like Akito who means the world.

Akito is crying.

Hari kneels down, drags meds out of his graying leather bag. He feeds him Percocet from his open palm, doxycycline for the pneumonia that he knows he has. Antibiotics, lethal little pills because he's sure that he's infected, can't bear to take the chance that it's too late. "Swallow it Akito," he says when Aki coughs it up, groans angrily because the Percocet is not enough to kill his pain. "I'll give you something stronger later, morphine, Dilaudid, whatever you want. Just please take these things for me."

Tohru nods at him with pit-deep eyes, tells her dear to take his medicine. Then she turns to Hatori, asks him panicked for the keys as she ignores her crying kid. "I'll do it," he says, "you need to handle Taeko. She's only young Tohru, she needs you more than Aki does."

She shakes her head, says no one's needier than Akito, not even a brand new baby. But anyway she listens to him, he's the doctor and Taeko is her little girl, bawling with her bright red face against her breast. "She needs to eat," she says, glancing terrified at Akito. "I can't do this is front of him…"

"So wait," growls Hatori, fiddling with the key and Aki's dragging himself up the door by the bars, hands slipping on the slime and his own weakness. "Don't," he tells him, "I'm not going to let you try and stand up on a broken leg."

"B-but I can do it…" Aki quivers, coughing blood with every word. He can't and his legs fold under, bring him down into a heap that's soundless but for the shatter, even Taeko hears the breaking of another bone.

The door swings open, Hari's struggle with the warped lock won. Aki's gathered into Hari's arms, cuddled close and he can't care that he probably shouldn't move him. It's not like he can leave him here, lay his god alone on the cold filthy floor while he scrounges up some kind of stretcher. It's not like Akito would let him go.

Tohru strokes her child's rigid spine as they descend, slide down the hill in gentle steps. She's looking hungrily at the two of them, wishing she could be the one to hold him, fix him, and she resents her little girl, hates Hari heartlessly for thinking he can heal her Akito, her fallen angel she's supposed to save. Through the treetops Aki moans, sending screams of pain throughout the compound, wrecking worker's ears and hurting Hatori, hurting all the Sohma living here to serve their god. Even Kyo is hurting still.

But they don't know that, and Aki's wails are privatizing now, crumpling formless in his head. They do not know the deepest hurt, or why that violation is deserved. They do not know that Yuki's face is haunting him.

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_Blankets. Bed. A glass of water and you're being bandaged, flushed out on the table before you can contemplate sleep. Dilaudid and lots of it, racing through your veins like faith healers on cocaine. Get those bones set and those shiny pills popped, get Hatori to run innocent hands on your ass to view the damage in the back. Shake and cough and deny the fact that there's no fight in you, you're over and you want your water, you wish your blankets were sky blue. Give it up and call for your victims to rock you to sleep, be there when you wake because now, you think, you know what it must have been like._

Yuki-kun, he is calling for you.

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Nana: And that my friends, was chapter fifteen. I apologize for not explaining the Yuki thing further, but as you can see by the ending, it should be coming soon. I just couldn't find a way to make it fit in here. But don't worry, it's coming, I try not to dangle red herrings like a jerk. Also, if nobody understood the blanket thing then I apologize. If anyone has any theories I'd be thrilled to hear 'em! I mean I know what I mean, I just want to see what other people think…

So anyway, just think about how much the review button loves being clicked on, and how the little box is just tickled to be typed in, and how I'm going to frighten my kitties with my glee when I get your reviews in my inbox! And so with that in mind…do it! Thank you!


	16. Not What I Had Meant To Do

A/N: Alright, well first off let me just say that I'm sorry this took so long. Writing fanfics is a frowned upon activity during midterm season, especially when you are almost certainly failing math and borderline in other classes because you were writing while they lectured instead of paying attention. Writer's block did not exactly help the process either. Not that many people seem to be _reading _anymore, but I apologize to those who are. Hopefully Chapter Sixteen's worth the wait.

Now I'm warning you, this chapter deals quite a bit with rape, though certainly not more than _Victim _did. I think we've had enough of that for one fanfic. Anyway. If you're this far along that's probably not a deterrent, just thought I'd point that out. So…enjoy!

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Everybody Wants Her

Chapter Sixteen – Not What I Had Meant To Do

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Yuki's not the type to drop everything and come to God when he is called. Mostly he just misinterprets, sees the sudden pain and awful feelings as some special new disease. The summons make him think he's sicker than he is, that there's more than asthma wrong with him. Aki's voice in his head gets him feeling like he's crazy, flawed and fractured from the painful past. Aki's hooked him in his psyche, but it doesn't take until he's reeled in like a dying fish. The fisherman's exhausted and he cannot make the effort, he sends Hari in for Yuki-kun instead.

Hatori stands massive in the doorframe, picks a patch of scaly skin as he waits for him. Bluntness is pointless with Yuki,-kun and Hari hasn't got the tact to tell him any other way. So he skips the preparation, just tells him that he's wanted in Akito's room. Yuki's shaking, playing brave because he can't remember being called for something good. No, it was always just this whipping thrashing agony, shrieks and insults and Aki puking on his shoes. There's more to this but more's not relevant, nothing past the beatings mean a thing.

"I don't know what he wants," says Hatori, "but he's very…sick, right now, I doubt he'll have the strength to hurt you." It's not a lie, not really, Aki's sick as hell it's just that's not the thing that matters now. Hari's vague on what went on between the rat and God alone as children, but he knows that Aki used to kick his ass. He's not willing to risk a reaction, listen to Yuki laugh or cry about his dear God's plight. So. Silence will do.

They walk straight in like war-scarred soldiers, Yuki breathing deep as he can to keep the panicked thoughts at bay. His focus sticks stubborn to the floorboards, the wreck on the ground and this is Aki's room. It's been ages since he's been in here, since he's cared to look around. Its dark to spare Akito migraines, the floor is fouled up with puke and dirty tissues. Clothes hang out of the dresser and this whole place is a disaster, Yuki can't believe that Tohru hasn't cleaned it up .She must be truly broken if she doesn't give a damn.

And Akito is filthy too, stained with everything that could possibly come out of a human body. Hari hasn't fixed this, Tohru hasn't, _no one _has. Everybody in this room looks dead.

"Yuki," Tohru says, reminding him that there are people here, that he's invaded holy space for a reason. She's standing by the window, peering through curtains as she plays with Taeko's hair. Distracting herself, because she cannot bear to look at Akito, at anyone involved in this disaster. And Yuki is, he's not sure how but he's important, Tohru will not turn to grin at him. She says his name and sighs, she doesn't know or even want to know what any of this means.

Akito does. He's soggy with memory, stinging with the pain of all he's done. Sick because the one thing he'd always thought was wonderful between them is dirt now, it's destroyed. Rape. All this time he'd thought it was connection, Yuki loving him for once and god good god it wasn't, god he's got to hate him now. God. He's God and he can use this to forgive his every sin. It doesn't work though,guilt persists, and Aki calls him over. "Y-yuki…" he rasps, curled fetal and he can't look either, it hurts too much to squint up into his shocked and crumpled face. "Y-you came…I didn't, I didn't think that you…that you would…"

The girls in the room then turn to look at him, Tohru's face looking dazed and she says to him, "you never think that _anyone _will come for you. You're their god, they haven't got any choice. I don't, either. We always come when you call." Her big eyes slip into slits, she's shut down now and Yuki wants to go to _her, _comfort _her _but Aki's broken, Aki wants him close by on the bed. He sits down soft and hopes he doesn't hurt him, shudders slightly at the bloodstains on the sheets.

Aki struggles up to stare at him, gasping with the effort and you know that this is killing him. "I raped you," he tells him, "it was not what I had meant to do."

This creates a whirlwind in poor Yuki-kun, gets him reaching for his meds because that's how he's learned to feel things now, have his attack and let that be what's most important, kill the thoughts before they kill him first. But it doesn't come, he's breathing fine and he should probably try and face this. "I…I don't remember that Akito, I…don't think you ever did that. You…you did whip me, you were _violent _but…I don't think you ever _raped _me."

Face it. Right. Yuki cannot face a thing, can't look Aki in the eye and everyone's avoiding this, Tohru at the window and Hari at the door. Only Yuki's on the bed and Aki's mouthing words at him, he can't hear. Yes he's got this in his head, himself a kid and so forgetful, Akito was background noise for the precious moment prior to. Himself with the sun in his eyes, hunched over his gameboy having fun, _playing _and for once Akito didn't matter, suffering was moot. He was _happy. _

And then God said, I'm lonely. I'm freezing Yuki, sick as hell. Come to bed with me and make me better. He'd told him no, refused to be his medication. Just that one time all he wanted was to be a kid, to raise his Pikachu to level ten. It seems selfish now, ridiculous and cruel. Who was he to deny a cancer patient comfort? But back then he gave comfort everyday. As a child Aki needed even more.

Face it. Skip the details, think on the event. Akito's eyebrows furrow—too well-sculpted, he looks more like a girl than Yuki—no. No focus. Listen to his words because you've got to know your past. "I don't know what scares me more," says Akito, "that I'm so delusional that I think I've done this thing, or that I really…really did. I c-can…I can tell you what I remember…you can tell me if I'm wrong or not."

Tohru-kun stands up then, her blinders failing and she cannot listen anymore. "Akito," she says, "take Taeko-chan. I have to uh…I have to go to the bathroom. P-please tell Yuki-kun about whatever it is you've done while I'm gone."

The brows knit further, Aki coughs a bit and tells her no, what she needs is not the bathroom but to know him, life is leaving and if his ending is to mean a thing she needs to be informed. To him it matters more that Tohru know than Yuki-kun, though it's his past and none of her business, really. "Don't," he tells her, "don't leave or I will kill myself."

Hari snorts, rolls his eyes and thinks that this threat is such a valid one when he's got the girl convinced he's dying anyway. But sarcasm slides off quickly, he's soon silent and wondering if he should be here, if any of them ought to be.

Knees hunched up to keep safe what's breaking, Akito begins to speak. "I'd had…chemotherapy the week before. I was, I had been throwing up since then and I was…exhausted, I was _gentle _with you Yuki! I was feeling…almost as bad as I feel now I…" And something snaps, something changes in Akito's eyes. The troubled calm is shattered, soon he's risen from his bed and holding Yuki by the collar, raking nails down his face and feeling crazy, about to pass out or puke all over him. But he needs to be abused. "You _deserved _it _Yuki-kuuuun! _I don't know _why _I didn't see it before, you deserve everything I've done to you because _I AM GOD _and _GOD IS ALWAYS RIGHT! _I am sinless, I don't have to say I'm fucking sorry!"

It's no surprise when he's doubled over, blood-soaked head to the blankets as he chokes on the effort. The words just devastate his lungs, pokes holes in Yuki's soul as he tries not to tap into too much trauma. And Tohru, Tohru's holding him tight, telling him he's got to be a good boy now. She's still holding Taeko and it's a tough maneuver, she winds up placing her angry baby on the bed. "Don't be like this," she says, "I hate it when you do this Akito. Don't be mean, don't, please…"

Aki rubs his eyes and coughs again, wonders if and when the Dilaudid's going to leave him. "Whatever," he says, sorry but he'd be a hypocrite if he apologized, he'd be making a fool of himself. He coughs again, stares agonized at his shattered leg. Maybe this is not about the rape thing, maybe it's the beating and the deep betrayal, the role reversal that he never thought that he would know. He feels violated yes, broken into but…how can he know if that's how it went with the rat here? That single moment, that bright time when he apparently abused him, it couldn't have been like this. No, he doesn't get it after all. And Yuki can't remember, what's the point in opening his mouth?

It's not like he can pretend he hasn't said it though. Hasn't looked him in the eye and said, _I raped you. _He owes him something, the truth now and a chance to turn his god into a victim. The hate in his honeybee's eyes tells him he deserves it. "Look," he says, "just fucking listen. I asked you to come to bed with me and you wouldn't. You were playing your gameboy, you didn't want to stop and I think you were afraid of me. You should have been. You were ten years old and before I got too sick to I was…well you remember the whip. But I didn't care. I needed someone and you wouldn't so I…forced you. To be with me. Just to lie there." He trails off, stifles a sob because this is not his fucking tragedy. He has no right to hurt over this, none.

"But," says Yuki-kun, "there was more to it than that?"

Aki nods, coughs a bit and keeps on talking, the tale falling out of him like blood from an open vein. "I don't know what made me choose to…I can't explain but I just, I thought that if I had sex with somebody I'd feel better. It's the ultimate closeness and I…I just wanted to feel that. You weren't coming near me and it made me…angry. I thought if I just took you in my arms…"

And now it is his tragedy, now Aki's got tears down his cheeks in torrents, Aki's face is clogged with snot and he is bawling. He's sorry, so sorry that he's basically Kyo-kun now, a rapist and there's no way around it. "F-forgive me…" he begs him, coughing blood onto his blankets. "I t-thought it was…I thought I was making you love me…I'm sorry…"

"It's…okay," says Yuki-kun, knowing it's not but Aki's sobbing, body heaving with the gravity of guilt. "Don't worry about it."

"No, no it's not okay, what I did was _deranged, _and I know how it _feels _Yuki, I've been raped _too! _Kyo-kun fucked me and…" He's pushed forward now, clung to by his honeybee who's kissing him, comforting like she hasn't heard his schpeel. Tohru's just about the last few words, the victimization of Poor Baby. The fact that he was fucked makes his sins okay, they've got to be or how can she keep loving him? Leaving's out of the question; it doesn't matter if the thought of Aki mauling Yuki as a kid just makes her sick. If she goes he's good as well ordered really, to track down Kyo and have a talk with him, find out what he's done dead, the Sohma clan a scrap of history.

So Tohru runs her hands through Aki's hair.

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Tohru's been asked, and the why of it. Hatori and Yuki both, neither one can stand the thought of their god defiled, even Yuki with his own abuse so new and bright in his brain. She's got Taeko in a sling beside her, leaving the baby with the boys would be ridiculous. They've got things to discuss, trauma to work through and Tohru's her only real parent at this point anyway. Not that she's a very good mother, with Aki around it's near impossible to do right by her. Thanks to Tohru and the mess that she's invented, Taeko Sohma will grow up as psychologically screwed as all the others with her name.

But that's not the problem now, she's pretty excised the baby from her thoughts. She's turning the property up-si-down, hoping that Kyo hasn't left yet, changed his name and dyed his hair, done whatever must be done to avoid being tracked down. _Please, _she thinks, _Mommy let him be stupid, please! "KYO-KUN!"_ she bellows, setting off the kid with the volume, Taeko's wailing now and Tohru has to comfort her, can't be bothered because she's sucked so dry by all these Sohma folk. Her mother could have handled this, Kyoko could've taken on the whole damn world. "Kyo where _are _you, it's me Tohru-kun! I just want to talk to you!"

Decades pass and she does not find him, soon Tohru's tearing her hair, teary-eyed with frustration. _"KYO!" _she wails, Taeko turning in to her displeasure. "If you come back to me I'll _marry _you, I'll give up Akito forever _KYO!" _

And. There he is, slipping towards her from behind an ancient oak tree. "Really," he says, faking a smile through his mud-stiffened face. "I guess I'll take you up on that then. It's good to see you Tohru-kun."

She reddens then, holds Taeko tighter to her as she shakes her head. "I…I didn't…mean that Kyo, I just…thought it would get you to come out if you were there. I'm sorry…"

Kyo-kun laughs, picks shit off his forearms as he tells her yes he knows. "When you find out what I've done you'll hate me anyway, I don't deserve you anymore."

"I already know what you've done," she says, "and I don't hate you. I mean, Aki says he's done the same and…well he'll have to forgive you. He'd be a hypocrite not to, and he'll do what I say so don't…don't worry. But Kyo could you just…could you tell me why you did that? He might die now and I can't bear to lose him…"

He shakes his head, says it's stupid and he sort of regrets it now. "I don't know," he says, wanting to launch a rant about what a monster Aki is, but looking at Tohru he can tell that would be pointless. He won't explain, won't make excuses like Akito likely has. He's over with the Sohma, Satan as far as they're concerned. It doesn't matter, can't matter 'cause they've always hated him. If he's angry now then Tohru-kun will too. "I really don't know Tohru-kun."

"Oh," she whispers, "I see."

The conversation stops and they try to continue it, try to dredge up a reason to see each other than Akito. Not much else is on their minds though now, his violated body will be with them both eternally. "Is he alright?" Kyo asks, still trying to work the dried filth off of him. "It doesn't matter, I just want to know because _you'll _be upset if he's not and…yeah."

"He isn't, really," Tohru says, "he's got a lot of broken bones, and Hatori-san had to give him this really strong medication, this Dilaudid thing…it's supposed to be stronger than morphine. He thinks he's going to die, and I think that he wants to…" She sighs, lets Taeko's tiny hands curl around her index finger. "It's hard to decide if he deserved it…but I guess it doesn't matter. I want you to come back Kyo. I'll really miss you if you go…Taeko-chan would too."

"Don't…don't use that," he tells her, eyes flicking away from the flame-haired little girl. "You've already made it clear that I can't have anything to do with her. Akito's her father because you love him, so…don't get my hopes up Tohru. It's not fair."

"Well it doesn't really matter now," she says, "he knows she's yours and he…he's such wreck. M-my Akito, my beloved…he doesn't want to live anymore. He can't walk and he can't stop coughing and there's no _way _he can be Taeko's father. He just can't. It's too much for him. I want it so much but…Kyo, I need you to help me with this."

Kyo-kun smiles, lips bleeding as they crack and bend to make it possible. "That'd be great," he tells her. "I mean I was planning to go find Kazuma, but from what I hear he's off in China and anyway, I've sort of been disgraced. I don't know if he could take me. But you're basically a queen now, if you say I can stay here than I guess that means I can. I'd like to be with you and Taeko-chan."

"I wish you could hold her," Tohru says, face buried in her daughter's hair, tears streaming down to leave her soaked. "I wish Akito could he…he's too weak. And I don't have time for her I…I'm a terrible mother. I'm a terrible girlfriend too, I'm talking to you and I wasn't there to _stop _you…oh god this is all my fault…"

"Oh _no," _Kyo says, eyes rolling and he thinks that this is ludicrous, he's disgusted but he cannot stand to see his Tohru cry. "No Tohru-kun, it's not you, it's just our…_my _reaction to you that made me do this. And Taeko's going to be fine. My mother _killed _herself and I'm doing great."

"No you're not," she yelps, "you're miserable! You're a rapist, you want something I can never ever give you and you've always been unhappy. Don't use yourself as an example Kyo-kun, that just scares me even more!"

Eyebrows raised, he glares at her, tells her "well that's nice of you to say." Tohru bows in apology, comforts Taeko when she cries about the dip down towards the earth. But she means it, they know she means it and honestly, it's true. Tohru cannot be an absentee, a suicidal mommy if she wants her little girl to grow up thrilled. Things need to change, and if Kyo helps out they maybe can.

"I want you to be a part of Taeko's life," she tells him, making this clear to spare him later pain. Her hands clasp his and she keeps talking, tells him that she can't go back to making love to him. "I adore him," Tohru says, "I won't say more because I don't want to upset you but…I'm going to marry him, if I ever can I'm going to have his baby. I just want you there to be my friend and help with Taeko-chan. Not to be a lover, Kyo."

Disappointed, he agrees. He's known this, doesn't see why Tohru needs to bring it up again. She wants so much for him to know, can't stand the thought of a misunderstanding, a chance that they could get it on again. It's not that all he wants to do is fuck her, yeah he wants it bad but he'd give anything to be the one about to marry her. And he can't even say now that he is more deserving. "Just know that if you change your mind, I'm here. I love you Tohru-kun."

"Thank you," she whispers, brushing lips to say she's sorry, that she'd do this if she could but she loves Akito. "Thank you Kyo-kun. I'm sure that one day you'll get over me."

"No." He shakes his head, savors the close-mouthed kiss he knows will be their last. "No Tohru, I don't think I ever will. But hey, it's not like it's the damn rat getting to be with you, right? Then I really would have been mad." He laughs then, and so does she. Not because it's funny but because it's all they have. This false and awkward friendship that they'll have to transform back into something that feels real. "Well," he whispers, choking up and trying not to, tears spotting the ground because he hasn't got a thing he's wanted in the world. A daughter sure, but he can't hold her, can't have much connection 'til she's grown. "I guess we should go, huh? I could really use a shower, and I guess you want to go back to Akito. I…I'll see you later, Tohru-kun."

"Right," she says, grinning soft as if she's somehow happy. "See you later Kyo."

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Nana: Well, Everybody Wants Her is very nearly done now…there's maybe one more chapter and then…after nearly half a year…it'll be over! The thought's a little frightening. After this I'll be working on originals, I guess…maybe a few more fanfics if I can't break the addiction. So yeah. What did you guys think of this chapter? It was _very _difficult for me to write, but I'm pretty much satisfied now. But let me know what you think please, I need reviews to live! The recent 'four reviews per chapter' thing isn't making me too happy, especially since I know I have more readers than that! Thank you and much love!


	17. The Zodiac Breaks

A/N: Welcome to the final chapter of 'Everybody Wants Her!' This fic is a first for me in many ways. It's the first multi-chaptered fanfic I've written, the longest fic and the one with the most reviews. I never expected to break into the triple digits, and while I know I've whined at you to give me more, I appreciate each and every one you guys have given me. Most of all I want to thank Mimi and Raikune, the two online buddy-friends I've met through writing this thing. Both of them are phenomenal writers who could use some readers, so head on over to their profiles when you've got some time to kill.

Yeah I couldn't help the plug. Even though I've already recommended Raikune. Anyway I'm sorry that this chapter took so long, since it's the last one I wanted more than anything to make it perfect. I hope everybody likes _The Zodiac Breaks _and _Everybody Wants Her_ overall. Happy reading!

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Everybody Wants Her

Chapter Seventeen – The Zodiac Breaks

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It's not so simple as they wish it were, the Sohma's not okay with Kyo-kun coming back. When Tohru strides on in with the suggestion she's shot down, screamed out by Hatori for even considering it. "After spending so much time with us I'd like to think you had some understanding," Hari snaps. "God comes first and Kyo's destroyed him. Just because _you _forgive him doesn't mean that _we _do, and Tohru he'd have to be locked up _anyway. _He's the cat and he's a huge threat now, we can't just take him back with open arms. He has to be locked up again and that's that."

Tohru's sitting on Aki's bed again, shifting awkward as he glares at her with wrath so intense he can hardly sustain it, Aki's putting everything into this fury. "If Akito can be forgiven for Yuki then—"—she's cut off, sounds shut up by Hatori. He tells her that that subject's closed, they've talked it out and it's not to be mentioned again. It doesn't seem to matter much that Yuki's traumatized, falling apart in the doctor's arms as Hari hugs him. The breakdown of another person has never really fazed this man.

"Look," he tells her, voice flat as he pats Yuki-kun mechanically on the back. "Even if they didn't have these roles, if they were just normal people Akito would _still _be more innocent than Kyo. He's paid for what he's done and anyway, he was just looking for comfort. Kyo's acts were deliberately malicious, and he nearly killed our god! I'm sorry, it can't be changed that that's a part of it. We can't forgive it Tohru-kun. We can't allow him back into the family."

"What does Akito think?" she asks, setting up her baby girl curled close to him, hoping that her small presence will bring some kind of comfort. "I mean it's up to him, not you, am I right?"

"It's up to me if I think it'll damage his health and it _will _Tohru, the stress is going to be intolerable." Tohru sighs, lies down with her Akito and concedes that Hari has a point. She can't imagine how this fragile baby could endure the fear, how Yuki's managed living with _his _rapist all these nights and days. Yuki's stronger despite his falling now; Yuki is a tougher, sweeter kind of Akito. Akito's a lovely skeleton, a glass doll on the verge of shattering and stabbing feet.

"I couldn't care less," he says, deadpan and nearly dead, Aki's hacking blood post-sentence. "I mean…fuck me right, who gives a shit what's good for _God…_I don't care. T-tohru's obviously in love with him, 'course she wants him around so she can…whatever. Whatever, I don't care, you guys just do whatever you want because I'm going to die and I don't matter. I'm shit."

"You're not shit!" Hari and Tohru insist in unison, forceful and horrified that Akito thinks this way. Tohru climbs in closer to him, holds him tight and says she's crazy for him, doesn't care what he's done 'cause she is filled with adoration. "You're worth so much," she tells him, pausing quick to plant a kiss upon his bloody mouth. "You've done so much for your family, you mean everything to all of us and you are flawless."

No, he cannot stop himself from cracking up at that.

Tohru's face turns tomato and she buries it into her hands. She knows she could've picked a better word, one that did not dismiss the pain of those around her, that honored Aki without outright lying. To save herself she just goes back to Kyo-kun, asks if he could maybe stay at Shigure's again.

"He doesn't deserve it," Aki says, the kid can't even stay consistent. He leans into Tohru-kun shaking, head smacking her lap because he can't stay up, can't hold onto the world a whole lot longer. "T-that's…that's too good for him after what he did to me…"

"Akito doesn't know what he's talking about," Hatori says, "he's too traumatized to use his mind. He's not going to be part of this decision, I don't want him even _thinking _about Kyo. This conversation is over Tohru, _I _will deal with Kyo, and _I _will deal with Akito. You just take care of your baby."

"Hey!" she snaps, indignant though it goes against the way she thinks she ought to be, smashes through the false smiling self she's only been able to kill with Akito. Maybe that is part of why she loves him, she can get angry, be herself around the man. "This concerns you less than anybody Hatori! When Aki's got his head together he's the one who should decide, and anyway I'm his _wife! _His well-being means the world to me, I'm not just advocating Kyo-kun!"

"You're not anybody's wife yet," Hari tells her, rolling his eyes as he sheds himself of Yuki-kun. "And Tohru, if you want Kyo to stay here then you're clearly _advocating _him as you so delicately put it. If you want to be with him that's _fine, _but that means you need to leave, not drag the excommunicated into this." He grits his teeth then, points shaking towards the door and tries to push her up and out.

She grabs the doorway, calls her sickly sick and dying one to be her knight in shining armor. "Aki-kun tell him to stop!" she squeaks, nails digging through the chipping paint. Akito does nothing, barely hears her as he coughs into the air. He's spacing now, brain-dead with the trauma and he's gazing blank at Yuki-kun. Tohru-kun's ignored, Tohru-kun's pushed out without her little girl.

And now she's alone. Bereft of her baby and the Sohma amoeba, Tohru's by herself and shuffling out now. She's not sure if she can come back ever, she's panicked at the thought of Aki dying cold outside her arms. And so she beats the slammed-shut door, begs for entrance from the dragon guard. "Hatori-san I changed my mind, I have to be with him come on now, I don't care about Kyo anymore, just don't let him die without me _please!" _

"What?" snorts Hatori, coming out to glare down at the quivering girl. "Is it supposed to be entertaining? Some kind of spectator sport? Listen Tohru, he's not going to die and no one wants you here alright? Just get out of here, take your kid and go." Squirmy Taeko's thrust on her, and Hari slams the door right in her pretty little face. Why he's so pissy is hardly beyond him, Hari knows he cannot stand to have this sweet girl here. It's when Akito's destroyed that the doctor loves him best, when he's not whining or screeching or any awful thing. Here he is, mindless and compliant and Hari's realizing how sick that sounds.

But he does love for him to be this way. To need him and him alone.

Tohru-kun will break the servant-god connection, Tohru-kun will make Akito need her touch and not his doctor's. This is duty really, a job and holy obligation. Hatori feels flawed if he can't heal him, if Aki's soul is soothed by someone else. It is not that he loves him, if he does it's not something that he's willing to admit. Not with Yuki crouched shaking in the corner there, not with the blackness coming at him through his blind and ruined eye.

Despite all this Akito calls for her, tears pouring from his eyes like cough syrup spilled and Hari wants him wanting only him, either that or he'd like to see him as a dictator, evil Aki at the throne throwing vases. But what he sees is just this soppy little mess, Akito now and ages ago, a kid struggling to swallow the fucking syrup.

He's coughing, crying for his bee to be with him and Hari can't deny him any longer. What he wants is comfort, love that Hatori's too cold to give. He's been hurt too much to help him, Yuki has too and only Tohru's capable. Akito reaches out with twitching fingers, hacks blood and whimpers and Hatori's got no choice here. He stands up, he pries the door gently and steps out hoping to see her. She's not there. Tohru's gone.

Hari doesn't break the news. He cannot face the man's reaction, can't bear to see his God rot even more. So instead he scoops him up, tells him all's alright because he's here for him, he's God he's God he's God and _god _he's beautiful. Aki in his arms in this perfect moment, every sin ignored now, Yuki-kun still staring at them brokenhearted. "You need a bath," says Hatori, "you're going to get an infection if I don't get you clean."

Aki nods, wanting the girl he adores but not caring, this is all he gets and all he's used to, he'll take Hatori's temporary love because he's tried and failed to thaw him all their lives. He'll take this bath and fucking love it, hope he'll die with Hari's hands running soapy through his hair.

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It hits him like a blizzard when he realizes that he can't stay with her, leaves him gasping, frozen and bereft. Yes, he'd thought that it could work in Tohru's presence, he'd absorbed her optimistic feelings. But Kyo's no optimist, he's not inclined to think that good is real. When Tohru scurried out of sight into the main house he'd dashed inside, snuck a shower to cure the vile slimy feelings. It hadn't helped much, Kyo-kun feels he _is _the filth, and he cannot make himself slip sickly down the drain.

He runs out again after stealing a sheet of paper, a pen that doesn't write until he breaks the paper scribbling on it. He figures he can write to her, tell Tohru-kun he doesn't mean to blow her off, that he wants what he says but it's impossible. If Aki lives he won't allow it, if he dies Kyo's dead, basically doomed either way. And in a way he doesn't even want this, it would kill him watching Tohru-kun suck face with Akito each day.

Time passes and he fails to write the letter, Kyo can't think and he just pulls grass out the ground and splits the blades, ties them back together pointlessly. Of course he's stalling sealing fate, of course he cannot think of anything to write. He keeps not doing it, keeps wrecking up the grass until she comes for him. Maybe he had known she would.

"Kyo," she says, voice thick with choked-back tears. She sits down with Taeko writhing, wonders if she'll ever do a thing but fuss and scream. "I've got some bad news."

"What?" he asks her, flinging up to look at her. He hasn't heard a thing except her teary tone, the kid's too loud and there's wax build-up in his ears. He digs it out, shakes his head and tries to give the girl a smile. "Did you say something Tohru?"

"Er, yeah," she tells him, crisp this time because she's apprehensive, more nervous than she was before. "Bad news. I have bad news. I'm sorry Kyo but you can't…you can't stay here, Hatori said no. Akito's too out of it to really say, but I don't think that he'd allow it…they want to lock you up again. I think you need to leave."

So he doesn't tell her he's been planning that, keeps his mouth shut so as not to cause her pain. Taeko's face is red with her bellowing, her shirt's stained dark with drool and tears. "What is _wrong _with that baby?" he asks her, hoping that these piercing wails will dampen his desire, that he will not miss his daughter when he leaves her. "Can you shut her up, it's really fucking annoying!"

Tohru shrugs, says she's sorry as she pats the child's back. "Look Kyo, I mean it. You need to get out of here, _now_. They won't come for you now, Aki still needs Hatori and he'll be the one to order it but _look. _They'll shove you right back in that cage Kyo, they don't trust you anymore and you have to _go. _Unless you want to spend your life in…I'm sorry. I know I told you that you could…I don't control this Kyo, I'm so _sorry…" _And she's crying now, spilling tears because she feels she's ruined everything. "Go," she says, "please just leave Kyo, I don't want to see you anymore…"

Those words sting without him knowing if she means them. Kyo's never been wanted and everybody loves the Lord, again he feels rejected though he's buried what he needs. "Fine," he says, reaching out to stroke the baby's flaming hair, Tohru's waves of cocoa down her back. _Just this one last touch, just please. Don't stop me. _

She doesn't stop him but she slithers softly backwards, eyes wide and self-possessed. "You have a wonderful world waiting for you Kyo-kun. If you go now, you'll have a life that no one can predict. You can be happy. You can. We can all be…happy…"

Tohru's shoulders shake and she's still crying, Taeko's voice is rasping as she screams. This doesn't look happy and Kyo thinks he'll probably just kill himself. He's cursed, maimed by his birth so how can he have any kind of future? Tohru-kun's an outsider, she would not understand that this is hopeless. But instead of speaking he just smiles at her, she doesn't need to know that he intends to take his life. "Kyo," she says, "Kyo you can hold her. Before you go, you can hold her little hands…"

So he does, he reaches out and grabs those coin-sized fists, teeny-tiny baby things and god he can't believe that he won't see her. "Taeko-chan, you're beautiful," he tells her, knowing that she does not understand. Her round and vacant face stares wobbly at him as she gulps through the remnants of her tears. "No matter what happens I…" And he trails off, breaks down and turns away.

He can't say it, can't do anything but flee the scene. It's his daughter, his little girl who looks just like him but he's choked and strangled by the simple words, _I love you._

-----------

Akito's laid out sacred in the bathtub, filthy clothes stripped off and strewn across the floor. He shuts his eyes, plays games with the pain and hopes he'll win at this hide-and-seek head trick. If he's blinded they can't find him, no one who would hurt him will come in. All these people want to kill him and Akito's spineless now, he's scared. The thought of Yuki walking in to use the toilet sets his heart beating crazy, the very idea of his Tohru-kun _seeing _him like this just drives him nuts. She'd take advantage of his weakness, they _all _would, the Sohma and his darling bee all want him dead!

Except for Hari. This man who's always healed him and he's fucking clinging, Akito is reaching with weak arms for Hari's hands. Like a child, like a pansy little loser he is needing him. And Hari doesn't question this, he just lets him cling and fills the bathtub, tells him that he knows he hurts and that he's sorry. The water stings his injuries, and he's too damn weak to keep from going under.

It's not just weakness but desire to die, Akito sinks down slow and then he's pulled up gasping, not allowed to end things and it's not because they love him. When Tohru-kun ran off to be with Kyo, Yuki'd faced him head on and said so, said _I hate you and I hope you hurt so bad you break. _I hate you. He has waited for this always. He is waiting for his honeybee to say it too. For his false baby girl to grow up and curse his name.

Hari lifts his little lord and makes him sit, soaps him up and hopes the open wounds don't sting and weep too strongly. He's seen so much but he's intimidated, viewing Aki different now. All he used to fear was falling victim, after Kana and that awful molestation thing…well he just can't think of any of that now. The vicious one is dead and gone, replaced by this spineless ruined baby naked in the bath. And he wants to tell him, yes you're horrible,just test this out because he needs to be berated, he shouldbut it just doesn't happen. Aki's back shakes and the tears slip killer down his face, salting up his split lip so it hurts him even more.

"Akito…" Hari ventures, soap-slicked hand on his shuddering shoulder. "Akito don't…there's no need to cry like that, it's not so bad, I mean it is but…calm down, you're straining your lungs now…"

The sobs keep coming, screams that rip like razors in his bloodied throat. Every piece of pain just pummels him, Aki can't stop murdering his weak body with the tears. He's still feeling the kitty inside, wrecking his legs and the rest of him, his own dick in Yuki-kun, _it's rape it's rape_ and Tohru fucking loves him, loves enough to mess around with Kyo. And Hari's here and Hari's lying and there's Taeko Taeko Taeko and _he feels so fucking sick…_

Hari lets the water drip him clean, sprays it loud to block the moaning. When Aki's soapless he is rolled up in a ratty towel, Hari wants to wrap him nice but he can see the kid's about to puke. Akito sinks sickly from his arms onto the floor, lets his insides spin into the worthless world. He's stuck in a shivering push-up, hands around the mess to keep away. But he loses strength and then he's soaked in vomit, Hari has to wash him up again.

And so he does. Unperturbed and wanting this, to be enslaved and indispensable. A Sohma in his proper role. There's nothing left in life for him but Akito, and the concept clicks too well to make the man depressed. Hatori is blessed with God and he could love him if this bitter little wreck were his. But no, he's made to serve, and they will live and die with this. Never mind the way it strips them both of souls.

-----------

Kyo-kun's sitting dangle-legged on the ledge of a small stone bridge. He is frozen with his brain in flames, blown over by the force of what he means to do. But his life's lost meaning, the world is fucking shit and what the hell's he gonna do outside the Sohma? Tohru-kun's sweet with her confidence, but if she weren't blind to what's real she'd understand. Tohru's lovely but she lives life wrapped in dreams, she lives immune to her little girl's screams. Anyway he's not about to tell her, to leave a fucking note. She'll think he's setting up a perfect life outside, hooking up with a chick who won't give a shit that he's a monster.

Head in his hands he scans through second thoughts, discards them and distills until he's reached this: he's topping himself here and now.

So he stands with shaking legs, arms outstretched out of habit just to save himself a fall. Jumping will not take him far, the bridge is low but there's a stream, deep enough and if he hits his head he won't come up again, he'll drown. And what a way to go when he's the fucking cat, he can't stand water but his death ought not to be too pleasant. He's filthy, an inexcusable coward who has turned away from God.

Jumping right away's impossible, Kyo-kun stands there gaining strength for ages before he steps into the air. The connection to his mother makes him warm and sick inside, the fact that he's leaving his daughter…no. No none of this, none of these meaningless doubts that'll just trip him up, this is pointless. Fuck, he's gonna fucking jump, just like in that nice other life where Shishou used to show him moves. He'd set aside his thrumming nerves, just plunge right into the technique, he'd get hurt but he would come through happy. Now he'll come through dead but that seems happier than living. He'll jump.

And he does, just shuts his eyes and walks right off, holds his breath unthinking as he lands—THWAP!—and sinks soundless in the green and soupy water. His lungs start shrieking, _we need air, _but Kyo-kun's scratching through the streambed, furious and frustrated that this jumping thing has failed him. His torso's stinging with the slap of impact, but he hasn't fallen far enough to bring the damage. And in the end he can't stay down, his brain will not allow his lungs to go on starving. He comes up coughing like he's fucking Akito, gasping and he hugs his knees, he can't believe he's failed at _suicide. _"My _mom _could do this…" he moans, swiping tears from his eyes that he's convinced himself are just water from the stream. "Shit…"

He sobs a bit, shoulders shaking as he tries to shut things down. When his face goes cold with drying tears and gunky water, Kyo-kun stands and tries to find some other way to die. His head whips around, searching and he's getting frantic, god he cannot stand existing anymore! Every little thing he thinks just sets the tears off, he hates this and he's looking looking looking _LOOK! _

The river's filled with rocks, hard smooth rocks and it's like these stones were sent from God to help him end this. God doesn't love him but God wants him dead, Kyo's rejoicing as he finds the perfect one. He swallows, salivating as he strokes it; yes he's finally going to die.

One strike—BAM!—and he's screaming in pain, bleeding down his eyes and all he sees is melted-candy liquid dripping down. Blood, _his _blood and—BAM!—it's fucking beautiful, a sign that he's about to die and—BAM!—he's terrified. BAM!—the boy's gone blind, no more candy slipping slowly down his face into his mouth. He's tasting coins though, coins like Taeko's little fists and all he wants to do is see her—BAM!—one more time and Tohru Tohru too what the hell is—BAM!—wrong with him?

Kyo-kun loses it; no more head wounds now because he's drowning, bleeding 'til the water turns a muted red. Everyone he's ever been slips out through his devastated head, Kyo's dead.

Sohma Kyo is fucking dead.

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Tohru pulls strands from the welcome mat as she leans against the oaken door. Taeko's stopped bellowing for once but Mommy's bawling, biting on her bottom lip 'cause she's been banished, she can't believe she's lost them both, lost the whole lovely Sohma for a dumb mistake. Kyo-kun's left to start a life and she's playing that she's pleased for him, and she is it's just she'll miss him, he's her friend no matter what. At any rate Akito's gone from her, if no one opens this door she's going to her grandpa's house. Now that she's a mom she doesn't mind imposing, Taeko-chan can't make it in a tent.

She struggles up despite gravity wrenching her, lifts her child up and pounds the door. Her fists ache as she knocks but she's not stopping, Taeko starts to scream and Mommy almost slaps her, resorts to Aki's ways. "Let me _in…_" she moans, "please Hari let me _be with him…_"

In time the door creaks open, Hari standing staring with his sandbagged eyes. "Oh," he says, "so you're back. Frankly Tohru, I'm surprised. I thought for sure that you'd have taken off with Kyo by now."

Tohru-kun clutches her flailing kid close, shakes her head as she sniffles and sobs. "N-no, no Hatori-san I just…I w-wanted to, I, I c-couldn't find him…he's probably, probably gone…I wa, I wanna s-see my Akito, please don't let him be _dead…" _

"You need to calm down," he says, standing stiff and he wonders if he ought to touch her, if the deadweight of his hand will soothe her soul. Hatori decides against it, just leads her in to look at Akito. "Please try to curtail your hysterics before you speak with him. He's in no condition to deal with anyone's emotions but his own. And on that note, I think that I'll escort Yuki to his room. I can't have both of them falling apart whenever they exchange a glance."

Tohru nods, wipes her eyes and sips the air to stop the tears. She wants Akito snapped in two, not shattered so she cannot save him, no she's not about to make this worse. Yuki's summoned and she sees him slinking out, a nothing-boy and she hopes that he'll go home soon. Everybody's wrecked, and she's bereft of ways to save them. Which means that Honda Tohru isn't worth a thing.

So she slides ghostlike to her Akito, curled in bed with his leg encased, hauled up in traction and he's got bandages all over, covering the marks of Kyo-kun's sins. Needles track his skin like he's a junkie, rented machines beep all around them. He struggles up to stare at her, eye wide and bright despite the clearness of his pain. He's babbling now, he's manic and he's banging fists against the bed. "It's gone," he says, "my Zodiac is broken. It's incomplete, it's wrong, it's gone it's gone it's _dead now._"

Tohru looks at him with clueless eyes, sets her daughter down and wonders if it matters what he means. This Sohma-speak flies over her, she knows her Aki's addled and she cannot count on him for sense. "Akito," she tells him, "nothing's dead."

_"YES, _it _is!" _he shrieks, coughing when the words run dry, spilling still more blood and Tohru can't believe he's got enough for that, that his lungs and veins are not yet dry. He bows his head, leans down and spits the mess into his lap. He moans over hitches in his throat, says he doesn't know what's missing but it's cataclysmic, something is gone from his life as a god. "I can't take this," he tells her, "I can't fucking take this. Someone's _dead_. My Zodiac is broken, there's this massive empty _thing _inside me I…I hurt so _much _Tohru…"

And she melts at this, Poor Baby's back and all she's hearing is the sadness he's expressed. Tohru leans into him with elbows bent, the hook-ups digging in as she holds him. "No one's dead," she promises, hands cuppingF the back of his neck as he grows too weak to spit fire. "Nothing's broken. Everything's going to be just fine Akito, you'll heal up fast and we'll be a family, Taeko and I will fill up all your empty spaces."

He shakes his head, tries to say she can't because she's not a Sohma, she doesn't get the wrenching horror of his severed ties, of knowing without knowing that one of his own is dead. She won't get this for the world and he wants to scramble out of here and know the score, who's died and why, is it Yuki? Hatori-san, Shigure, the monster? But Tohru's got his arms clamped tight around him, she's inched her baby girl close by. Aki doesn't fight it. He needs her and he'll suffer this suspense so she can think she's saving him. Because if she believes she can, Tohru-kun might smooth away the rage, obliterate the desperation. Make his headache go away.

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Nana: It's…over. _Everybody Wants Her _is done. I have to admit, it's a little jarring. I don't have this thing to work on anymore, it's finished. But I'm really happy with the final product, and I hope you guys are too. I know some of the things that happened in this chapter were a little disturbing, but you've got to be used to that by now, eh? Kyo-kun's dead. Honestly up until I started in on this chapter, _I _wasn't even expecting that. I guess that's what happens when you get really into your work, right? The characters just kind of do their own thing.

Oh! Before you go off to first review me and then continue with your lives, I want to recommend you something. No, I'm not directing you to other people's fanfics again, I already did that once today. But there are these two songs which I think sum up the Akito/Tohru relationship (or at least my version of it!) perfectly, that you might like listening to. I know I love it when people recommend me songs in their author's notes, so I thought I'd do the same for you guys.

The first is 'Misguided Angel' by the Cowboy Junkies. Okay, so it mentions some relatives Tohru doesn't exactly have, but it's about a girl who loves and is loved by someone who's well, totally nuts. It's this beautiful slow song and it just makes me so happy! The second one is 'Trigger Happy Jack' by Poe. Poe is cool. One of my favorite lines in this song is _But there's nothing more sadistic than an infant/Waving his pistol in my face/He wants me right down on my knees/Crumbling in disgrace. _Hehe. To me,that's Akito exactly.

Alright, I've gone on about that enough now. If you guys want the songs, you can download them or contact me, I'll send them to you. So anyway, since this is the last chapter, make _sure _thatyou review! Tell me what you think of this chapter and what you think overall. Thank you all so much for all your wonderful comments, you've made me the happiest little pancake in the land!

- Newsflash! It's not actually over. Because I'm review-crazy, I have something to tell you. There's a sequel to this story in case you weren't aware. It's called Burnt Rice and it's good stuff, so scurry on over and review me!

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